Performance Focused Parenting | Part 3

Performance Focused Parenting | Part 3

Aug 31

The Parenting Curriculum

How ridiculous would it sound if we went to our child’s open house at school and their teacher had no lesson plans for the year?  Even if the teacher explained the plan for the year being to watch what the other teachers do, then sit over coffee and discuss what worked and what didn’t.  We as parents would be incensed that there was no plan for our child’s education.  But how many of us do this with parenting our children?

We fly through life dropping our kids off at school and activities and our parenting style appears to be trial and error.  When we are so busy life seems to fly by even faster.  It would be such a tragedy to drop our child off on a college campus or watch them go out the door as adults and have regrets about our parenting.   One way to make sure we are able to do our best to train our children is to have goals or a parenting curriculum.  Take the time to process through the areas your child needs to be trained in before adulthood.  There are several places to start. You can start with thinking through the areas that you wished you had more training.  Another great place to start is the book of Proverbs.  This is a book written from father to son and has some wonderful insight.  Make sure that you sit down during one of you parenting staff meeting with you spouse and think through your goals for parenting.  This way you can help to make family and parenting a priority and not just get caught up in the busyness of life.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

 
Performance Focused Parenting | Part 2

Performance Focused Parenting | Part 2

Aug 30

Who are we performing for?

If we are attempting to ensure that we are training our children to be human beings not “human doings” then we need to first step back and examine ourselves.  There are a couple of questions we need to answer in our own lives.  The first is, are we too busy ourselves?  Do we have unrealistic expectations for what we can accomplish?  We need to be able to model down time for our children.  Our children must be able to observe our times of quietness before God, with our spouse and times of simplicity together as family.

The second question we need to answer in our own life is, for whom are we performing?  Are we placing the pressures we feel from others on our children?  For example, our parents may be putting pressure on us for the way we parent or make us feel like our children must be involved in certain activities.  Other families around us may also add to the pressure to have our children involved in activities.  Our peers may inadvertently guilt us into pressuring our children by comparing their children to ours.  We need to remember that we serve only an Audience of One.  He is the only one who will hold us accountable for how we raise our children.  Until we as parents can shift our focus to Him we cannot hope to pass this concept on to our children.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

 
Performance Focused Parenting | Part 1

Performance Focused Parenting | Part 1

Aug 29

What is the Focus of Parenting?

Have we put so much emphasis on the “success” of our kids that life has simply become racing from one activity to another?  Society would have us believe that our children need to be academically, socially and athletically successful to be ready for the adult world.  So childhood flies by in a whirlwind of homework and practices.

We touched on this topic when we discussed time management but we need to take this concept a step deeper.  Have we gotten to the point as parents that we have become our children’s performance enhancement drug?  Have we placed so much pressure on our children to succeed that they may be missing out on the very basics of childhood?  Picturing childhood should conjure up images of swings, ice cream cones and times filled with imagination.   But these pressures have been placed on our children as early as elementary school.  There are areas that need to be developed in our children in order to be marriageable and employable, such as the art of conversation or even think time, that need some down time in order to be taught. We need to remember that we are raising a human being and not a human doing.

This week we will be discussing performance focused parenting as we do make sure to take some time to step back and process what the focus of your parenting is.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on the topic of performance focused parenting.

 
The How To’s of Listening | Part 5

The How To’s of Listening | Part 5

Aug 19

Listening and The Dinner Table

Like we discussed yesterday teaching children how to listen using their siblings can be a great training ground for the future in work and peer relationships.  One place to put this into practice is the dinner table.  Creating family dinner discussion rules can help.  Such as only one person talks at a time or we finish discussing one thing before the next is brought up.  This is an area that we need to lead by example.

Another fun thing that can be done at the family dinner table is to create a listening game.  You can have each child tell the family one thing that they learned from someone else that day.  Whether it was at school, home or even each other.  This can help create an atmosphere of listening.  On Sunday’s you can have your children tell you one thing that they heard in Sunday school or small group and one thing they remember the pastor saying.  This will also begin to train them to listen in a big group setting.  If you make it into a game you may be surprised at the things that your children come away with!

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

 

The How To’s of Listening | Part 4

The How To’s of Listening | Part 4

Aug 18

Using Siblings to Teach Listening 

One thing that as a culture we seem to be failing to teach our children is patience.  We are trained for instant gratification and if we are not careful our children will be no different. An area that can be used to teach both listening skills and patience is sibling communication.  Like we discussed yesterday active listening is something that is a choice.  It is also something that needs to be taught because most of us are born with the “me first” attitude.  As parents we can begin to teach active listening by having our children look at us when we are giving an instruction and then simply requiring a response.  This will begin to teach children that they need to look at the person that is speaking to them and answer.  The next step to teaching listening is with their siblings.  We need to train them that their siblings deserve the same kind of listening respect.  This is where the patience comes into play as we are helping them to wait their turn in talking.  Which means no interrupting.  As children get older we also need to train them to stay with the conversation until it has been completed before we bring up something new to talk about.  All of these things, that are seemingly simple, are listening skills that some adults have not mastered.  This small listening skill that can be practiced with siblings can be invaluable for a child later and help them in both adult relationships and jobs.  

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.