Monthly Archives: September 2011

Training Up A Godly Child | Part 5

2011-09-28T15:08:29+00:00

The Consistencies Of Our Walk As Parents

We have mentioned some heavy topics this week as we have talked about the fact that how we live our Christian life will impact our children’s walk and faith in God. We discussed how we handle stress and difficulty will make evident what we believe.  One thing that we do which will impact our faith when we hit those difficulties, and that is how we live out our walk daily.  Do we take the time to study God’s word, spend time in prayer, and serve others?  These small things that we do daily are practice and exercise for our spiritual muscles for when the difficulties hit.  Not only that but they put consistently Godly habits in front of our children.

As children get older it may be easier for children to listen to the wisdom and advise of their parents when they know, even subconsciously, that they are daily in the word of God.  One thing that will forever be burned into my memory was seeing both my parents in God’s word daily.  Whether it was my dad in his green chair before we woke up or seeing my moms Bible and prayer journal out when we got home from school.  It is a great reminder to this day of how important it is to be studying God’s word daily.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on today’s topic.

Training Up A Godly Child | Part 5 2011-09-28T15:08:29+00:00

Training Up A Godly Child | Part 4

2011-09-28T14:51:28+00:00

Training Through Difficult Times

Yesterday we discussed how we handle family conflict will teach volumes to our children about God, we will continue on that vein today.  What if we take that concept a step further and talk about very difficult situations? We all have things or will have things in our lives that are very difficult. Psalm 23:4 reminds us, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. “  This means that we will all face difficulties but God’s promise is that He will be there with us and will comfort us.  These real life situations are some of the most impactful things that teach children about God and what it means to have a relationship with Him.

Many today are facing financial difficulties, job difficulties and even illness.  How we handle these situations reveal who we trust.  Do we trust in ourselves, our government, our spouse, or our God?

Take the time to pray with your children about the difficult circumstance, if appropriate. Be open and honest about your faith in God through the circumstance. Maybe even make a chart or poster to write up the small miracles or prayers that God is answering through the difficulty.  Choose to live out the fruit of the Spirit which we talked about yesterday, especially joy and peace through the difficulty.  Allow God to use this to impact your children’s life.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

Training Up A Godly Child | Part 4 2011-09-28T14:51:28+00:00

Training Up A Godly Child | Part 3

2011-09-28T14:47:50+00:00

 Training Through Family Conflict

How we handle things is indicative of what we believe.  Because children pick up on everything that we do, are we modeling how we handle family as if we believe in Christ? An illustration that has always stuck with me was the reminder that when a toothpaste tube is squeezed toothpaste comes out.  May seem like an obvious statement but the same is true of us, when we are squeezed or put under pressure what we truly believe, or what is on the inside, comes out.

Family is the place were some of us are squeezed but also where we let our hair down so who we really are is evident.  Ask yourself if that is the case what are my children truly seeing? Are they seeing someone who handles marital/family conflict with grace, self-control, patience, kindness, gentleness and love? Or do they see someone who is focused on getting their own needs met?

It is very convicting to read Galatians 5:22-26 and apply it to family conflict or difficulties.  Am I the one bringing Joy and Peace into my home even if there are difficulties?  These are the areas that speak volumes to our children about what it means to have a relationship with God; when our family looks different from the world not only on the outside but even behind closed doors.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

Training Up A Godly Child | Part 3 2011-09-28T14:47:50+00:00

Training Up A Godly Child | Part 2

2011-09-27T14:25:44+00:00

Being Consistent with What Your Teaching and How You Are Living

Something that children are well equipped to spot is inconsistencies.  It was amazing working in the residential program with the middle schoolers.  I learned very quickly, I had to be very consistent in not only what consequence I gave out but even how I gave it out.  If there were differences day to day or child to child the children picked up on it.  How much more do our children pick up when we are teaching a truth or command from the Bible and we ourselves are not following it.

This is one of those areas that can end up being very detrimental to our child’s walk with God.  As our children grow if they are continually seeing inconsistencies with what we are teaching from the Bible and how we are living, they will assume we do not truly believe it ourselves.

We need to be very aware of our actions and choose to make sure that our actions are matching up with what we are teaching.  If we are teaching about patience, use that opportunity with the difficult person at the store or while driving to set the example for your kids.  If you make a mistake then use that as well, apologize and teach your children through your mistake.

 

Listen today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

Training Up A Godly Child | Part 2 2011-09-27T14:25:44+00:00

Training Up A Godly Child | Part 1

2011-09-26T21:38:19+00:00

Why Choose to Disciple?

There is honestly nothing that we can do that has a bigger impact on our child’s life then discipling, or mentoring, them in their walk with Christ.  The thought of this may intimidate some parents because they feel unequipped to disciple their child. This may be the reason so many just rely on the church children’s ministry or youth group to do it.  The thing that we need to realize is that this is something that we actually do everyday, maybe with out even knowing it.

We have said many times before our children watch our every move.  The are intuitive studiers of their parents.  Our Christian walk is no different.  How we live out our relationship with Jesus will impact our children.  It may even determine whether or not our children see Christianity as merely a religion, something that is a Sunday ritual, or a living and active relationship with a God who is lovingly pursuing us.

We are going to spend this week discussing and looking at this concept more closely.  Take the time to read Deuteronomy 6:5-9 and process what it means for your life and your family.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

Training Up A Godly Child | Part 1 2011-09-26T21:38:19+00:00

Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 5

2011-09-20T12:57:10+00:00

NO Excuses

The generation of children and teens have been raised observing the “its never my fault attitude”. Many in society want to blame every one around them for circumstances and choices, the victim mentality is sadly very prevalent.  This is a very adolescent attitude that many adults have not grown out of.

We need to teach our children that their choices are their own, which means that they need to learn how to take responsibility for their actions.  No excuses are acceptable.  Teaching this attitude of responsibility for decisions makes our child both marriageable and employable.  Never being able to admit when you are at fault makes both of these areas very difficult.

The Living Bible translates the Proverbs 22:6 verse like this, “Teach a child to choose the right path, and when he is older, he will remain upon it.”  We are training our children not only to make the right choices but to take responsibility and learn from the poor ones.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on the topic of decision making.

 

Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 5 2011-09-20T12:57:10+00:00

Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 4

2011-09-20T12:54:06+00:00

Challenges

The challenges of decision making are evident in every decision your child has to make.  Rather then making these decisions for your child, or becoming frustrated with the child’s poor decisions, use these as opportunities for decision making development.

What are examples in the decision making training process? Well when our children are young we train them to pick up after themselves.   That is ultimately helping them make the decision to do that later on.  How they handle their allowance is a great decision making opportunity.  Decisions about when is an appropriate time to leave if something is happening at a party or date that goes against what is appropriate.

All the “challenges” we as parents face with our children and teens are also great training opportunities.  The need to learn the skill of wise, disciplined decision making is often more significant then the behavior we are dealing with.  Don’t get frustrated and miss out on the opportunity to train.  We need to instill in our kids the thought, “Its not that my parents caught me, it’s that I made the wrong decision.”

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on the topic of decision making.

Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 4 2011-09-20T12:54:06+00:00

Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 3

2011-09-20T12:51:41+00:00

The Four Parts of The Training Process

As we have discussed previously, there are four “E’s” to every training process we face with our children.  We need to focus on all four of these steps for successful training.

The first is our example as parents.  Are we setting the example of good decision making?  If we make a bad choice are we humble enough to explain and help our children learn from our mistake?  Do our children see us going to God’s word, praying about it and seeking Godly advice when we make a decision? Remember a very big part of the training process is living out what we are teaching.

The second step is exposing them to the decision making process.  Like we said in example, include your children in decisions that are being made as a family.  Allow them to see how to process a big decision.

The third “E”, is experience.   We need to allow our children the experience of making their own decisions.  We stated Monday that often it is easier as parents to make decisions for our child because it is so time consuming to walk them through the process.  However, if we are not allowing them to practice decision making then we are actually stunting development in this area.

Finally comes encouragement.  We also need to take the time to encourage our children when they make decisions.  We need to go crazy with praise when they make the right choice, but we also need to take the time to encourage when the decision is not the right one.  This means we take the time to process with our child and encourage that they can do better and you believe that they can make the right choices.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 3 2011-09-20T12:51:41+00:00

Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 2

2011-09-20T12:49:59+00:00

The 2 Components of Making Wise Decisions

There are two components that are necessary to teach our children so they can consistently make wise choices. The first is knowing where to go to find answers.  This is the first step to a good decision making process. There are many places we can train our children to go to look for answers if they are unsure in a decision. The first is always God’s word.   Many of the answers we need, can be found by simply cracking open the Bible and looking.  Another place to go is other people who can help give wise and Godly advice.  This is great area to help our children practice.  The more quickly they learn not to take advice from just anyone the better their decisions will be.

The second is learning the discipline to do the things I know are the wisest things to do even when I am tempted to do the opposite. This means that we need to teach our children, when they find the answer that they are looking for in scripture or through wise advice, they need to stick with it even if it is hard.  Helping our children to use their heads in the decision process and not their wants or emotions will help them in the face of temptation. The second thing that we need to help our child with is learning the discipline of saying no.  This is a very difficult thing for most of us but something that is essential for good decision making.  We have even spent a week discussing The Power of No

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 2 2011-09-20T12:49:59+00:00

Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 1

2011-09-19T13:43:02+00:00

Why It’s Important to Raise Good Decision Makers

This seems like an obvious question, because how our child makes decisions will affect every aspect of their life.  But if we truly believe this then why is this not a more prevalent focus of our parenting? For one thing it is a lot easier for us to make decisions for our child and not take the time to train the to make decisions for themselves.  We are usually in a rush and taking the time to present and explain decisions to our child takes a lot of time and effort.

When we are in a rush and our child makes a poor decision we usually don’t take the time to help them process through how to make a better choice next time, we usually just yell and move on.  Keep in mind if our child doesn’t know how to make decisions for themselves then they will spend their lives allowing others to make decisions for them.

Two verses that we consistently bring up in discussing parenting which apply to the decision making process as well are,

Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 1 2011-09-19T13:43:02+00:00