Monthly Archives: February 2012

Valentine’s Week – What is Love | Part 2

2012-02-14T20:45:03+00:00

Love is… not punching my brother. – Benny, age 6

The first attribute found in God’s definition of love (1 Corinthians 13) is patience.  In today’s society we don’t do well with patience.  We have been trained for the immediate and today’s children are no different.  Patience is something that is taught by modeling this behavior.  You cannot tell a child to be patient with their sibling and then be in the car driving to the grocery store yelling at the driver in front of you because he is going too slowly.

As parents we must remember that there are always eyes watching to see how we will handle situations.  A child is more prone to do what we do rather than do what we say.  They are visual learners. We must be conscious how we are reacting to the things around us in word and action.  When they watch us our children are learning the “love acted out loud” virtue of patience.

What does it mean to be kind?

Valentine’s Week – What is Love | Part 2 2012-02-14T20:45:03+00:00

Valentine’s Week – What is Love | Part 1

2012-02-14T20:28:54+00:00

Love to me means that I have a open heart for others.  ~Dani, age 7

While Valentine’s Day in the classroom means candy and parties, for others it is a source of pressure and for some it is just downright depressing.  What would happen if families used the month surrounding this holiday to teach children what it means to show love to the people around them?  We are told in Matthew 22 that to love our neighbor is “equally as important” as “loving the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind.” In fact the word love is used over 600 times in the Bible.

Sadly in today’s society we have no idea what it means.  To a child life revolves around them but we are raising a generation of adults who have not grown out of this.  To raise a marriageable and employable adult we have to cultivate the concept of love in our children.

What better a time to focus on this trait as a family then Valentine’s week?

How do we teach children real love? Please join us as we spend this week discussing the responsibility we have as parents to teach “love”.

Valentine’s Week – What is Love | Part 1 2012-02-14T20:28:54+00:00

Grand Parenting | Part 5

2012-02-05T23:43:08+00:00

Fun And Faith

The amazing Legacy that a grandparent can leave their grandchildren is their faith.  One of the easiest ways to do this is through prayer.  It is an amazing treasure to know that even though I never met him I was prayed for by my great grandfather.  Take the time to pray for your grandchildren, their future spouse and future children.

The next thing you can do is share your faith by modeling what it means to be godly adult.  Even if your children or their spouses are not Christians you can be a role model by living out your faith.

A verse of encouragement in this are is Deuteronomy 6:2, “and so you and your children and grandchildren might fear the LORD your God as long as you live. If you obey all his laws and commands, you will enjoy a long life.”

 

For more on leaving a Legacy for your children/grandchildren listen to today’s podcast.

 

Grand Parenting | Part 5 2012-02-05T23:43:08+00:00

Grand Parenting | Part 4

2012-02-05T23:42:19+00:00

Getting Through Differences

Another difficulty of the parent/grandparent relationship is finding the balance.  Something seems to happen in a grandparents mind the moment their grandchild is born.  They all seem to feel a sense of relief that they do not have to be the one who is in charge an carry the weight of discipline and training but get to be the ones who lavish love on the child.  Like the scripture that we posted earlier this week, grand parenting is one of God’s rewards.  But where is the balance?  Children still need to know that there are boundaries at grandma’s house.  And what do you do when you see your own children being to lax or hard in the discipline area?

Those are difficult questions that must be dealt with.  Continuing to keep an open dialog with your grown children is important.  If it is something that is being done to the detriment of the child then of course speak up.  Just make sure to do it in a loving manner with lots of time set aside to discuss.  Just keep in mind that no parent wants to feel nit picked especially when it comes to how they parent, so pick your battles wisely.

 

For more on the topic of balance in grand parenting listen to today’s podcast.

Grand Parenting | Part 4 2012-02-05T23:42:19+00:00

Grand Parenting | Part 3

2012-02-05T23:41:41+00:00

Long-Distance Grand Parenting

One of the difficulties for today’s grand parent is the fact that many families are separated by distance.  Long gone are the days where family all live on the same block.  So many families are having to get creative at overcoming the barrier of distance.

Today’s technology has been a great asset for this and many grandparents are teaching themselves to be technologically savvy in order to stay in touch. Social media and email can be a great way to send pictures quickly and even communicate with older grandchildren.  Another recent addition which is a great communication tool is the use of skype/facetime.   Many grandparents/grandchildren can have face to face contact even on a daily basis through the use of these tools.

Another fun way to let your grandchildren know you care is sending letters or care packages.  Children love to receive mail and who wouldn’t love to get a package with some of grandma’s home baked goodies.  Creating a lasting bond over the distance may take a little more effort on each family members part but it is well worth it to be involved in your grandchildren’s lives.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on closing the distance gap for today’s grandparents.

 

Grand Parenting | Part 3 2012-02-05T23:41:41+00:00

Grand Parenting | Part 2

2012-02-05T23:40:51+00:00

Overcoming Conflicts

As a parent, many of us wonder how to engage our parents to be grand parents, or to be the grand parents they should be.  For some of us this is even more challenging because there may be some baggage from our own childhood.  If possible, and safe for your children, take the time to deal with some of the family stuff and overcome conflicts for the sake of the children.  This may mean taking the time for discussion, setting goals and even asking for grand parents involvement.

For some families who live close together this is a no brainer, but for others who are separated by distance and emotional distance this may be more difficult.  It is a relationship worth making time for and effort towards.  I Timothy 5:4 reminds us, “But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. “

Take the time, and effort if need be, to make this relationship a priority and even repair relationship for the sake of the children in your home.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

 

Grand Parenting | Part 2 2012-02-05T23:40:51+00:00

Grand Parenting | Part 1

2012-02-05T23:39:51+00:00

The Mission of Grand Parenting

There are many topics that we have to address today that the Bible is seemingly silent about, e.g. dating, social networking, technology in general.  We obviously can take Biblical principles and apply it to all of these topics and are wise to do so.  The topic of grand parenting is not one of these topics.  The Bible has many things to say about not only the worth of the grandparent but that grand parenting in and of itself is a reward and a privilege.

It seems today to be a harder job then ever.  Either families are distanced by miles or conflict or just plain busyness.  But grand parenting is something that like many other aspects of parenting must be intentional on all family members parts, parents included.  One thing that can be helpful for a grand parent to do is to write a their own personal mission statement for what their goals are in grand parenting.  Then apply them to your own personal situation, even if it is over distance or emotional distance.  For some encouraging verses on grandparenting read Proverbs 17:6, Psalms 128:6 and Exodus 10:1-2.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on the topic of grand parenting.

 

Grand Parenting | Part 1 2012-02-05T23:39:51+00:00

Blending Families – Part 5

2012-01-26T16:41:18+00:00

Facing the Challenges of Blending Families

In any difficult circumstance one thing that needs to be avoided is a victim mentality.  It is so easy to get sucked into the poor me attitude and begin to be depressed.  First it needs to be said, that we in no way mean to down play the pain that comes with some of the circumstances in a blending family.   However, it is easy to get stuck in the trap of this attitude and not be able to move forward.

One thing to consider through difficult circumstances is that your Father knows about it.  It’s a comfort to know that He not only knows our circumstances but also has felt the same pain. When there is a rough day choose to focus on Him.

Philippians 4:6-8 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”

A practical way to avoid the victim mentality is to adjust your expectations.  There is no such thing as a perfect family; every family has its mess.  If we adjust our expectations it helps us to not be disappointed by circumstances.  The reality is, that there may be tension with the “Ex.” We also need to remember that children are children and they do not handle things the way adults should.  So many times we place unrealistic expectations on our children and are hurt when they don’t come to fruition.  It is especially important to give children of blending families room for adjustment and even allow them to grieve.  We cannot take the behavior personally.

On difficult days remind yourself, “My Father knows about this!”

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on blending families.

Blending Families – Part 5 2012-01-26T16:41:18+00:00

Blending Families – Part 4

2012-01-26T16:41:03+00:00

The “Ex”

One of the most difficult things for a blending family to deal with is the “Ex”.  When parents are trying to maintain consistency it can be very frustrating for children to live in two different places.  Even in the best of circumstances house rules will probably not be the same or consequences handled the same way.  When the other home does not share your beliefs or values it can become even more difficult.  One thing we must keep in mind is our priority must be our children, not winning a battle against our “Ex”.  It is very damaging for us to bad mouth the other parent because it places our children in the middle.  We must be very careful to guard our words when our children tell us what went on during their time away.

Our focus must be to maintain consistency in our home.  We cannot control what will go on in the other home but that doesn’t mean we just throw in the towel.  We must choose to place our focus and attention to what goes on in our home.  When we allow ourselves to constantly get irritated and upset at circumstances then we are not able to give our children our full attention.  We must choose to be prayer warriors when our children are in the other home.

Consistently give your children to God.  Remember that He loves and cares for them even more then you do!

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on blending families.

Blending Families – Part 4 2012-01-26T16:41:03+00:00

Blending Families – Part 3

2012-01-26T16:40:40+00:00

Helping the Blending Family

Choosing to do family well is a high calling and our main ministry.  For those who have been called into a blending family have an amazing ministry opportunity.  Many may be reading and listening this week, wondering what they can do to support those who are in a blending family.

The first type of family who is in need of lots of love and support is the single parent home.  There are many things we can do to show support.  We can take the kids out for and evening so mom or dad can have a few minutes to himself or herself just to breathe.  We can take a meal over so there is one less thing to think about.  Especially this time of year we can invite them to be a part of our families festivities. Holidays can be an especially hard time for a single parent family.

Most importantly we can support by spending time in prayer.  Both blending and single parent families can use our prayer support and encouragement.  For the parent of the blending family you can be a listening ear if they need to talk.  For any parent there are days of discouragement.  We need to be there for other parents, praying and encouraging one another through the hard days.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on helping the blending family.

Blending Families – Part 3 2012-01-26T16:40:40+00:00