Role Modeling Commitment Through Your Marriage | Part 5

Role Modeling Commitment Through Your Marriage | Part 5

Jun 29

Reasons To Commit To Your Marriage

As an engaged couple, rarely do you hear how hard marriage truly is. The movies we watch generally don’t help us to have realistic expectations for marriage. We all arrive at our wedding day with hopes of the “happily ever after”. And it is for a while, or what we call the honeymoon stage. But what happens next?

The next stage of marriage can be referred to as the disillusionment phase. This is where a couple realizes that this could be more difficult then they thought. You may begin to wonder where that awesome guy or girl went that you had dated.

The next phase is called the misery phase. This is where we get stuck in our rut of disagreements over the same things day after day, or worse. Sadly many couples stay in this season of marriage because they are trying, ironically, to “keep peace” or because neither spouse is willing to make the first move to better the relationship.

The final stage is the stage where we have to make the choice to commit to the relationship. The reason we can have the strength to do this can only be found in a relationship with God. This is a spiritual decision. Choosing to love your spouse even if you don’t currently like them is some thing that is done through God’s strength. Keep in mind that God is the author of marriage and it is His will that marriage not only work but that they are awesome relationships. Why else would He compare His relationship to the Church as a marriage? So something that should give us encouragement, on the hard days, is that when we are praying for our spouse and our marriage we are praying in accordance with His will and He hears our prayers!

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Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

 
Role Modeling Commitment Through Your Marriage | Part 4

Role Modeling Commitment Through Your Marriage | Part 4

Jun 28

How To Commit To Your Marriage

One of the things that we need to assess as we are choosing to commit to our marriage is what we are indeed committing to? Are we committing to work through conflict, to fixing the other person or are we committed to the relationship and to God? This is a key question to ask oneself because the answer will affect the outcome of your commitment level.

We need to be committed to the relationship and ultimately to God. If we have committed to working through every issue then we will have a hard time dropping petty arguments that may not need to be addressed for the sake of peace. If we are committed to fixing our spouse then we do not give them grace as we work through things. Something to keep in mind on this issue is that it isn’t our job to fix our spouse it is the job of the Holy Spirit. We need to be focused on what is best for the relationship.

An area that will also help commitment is focusing on building each other up. This is helpful when there are times of disagreement. It will go so much more smoothly if you have spent more time building each other up then tearing each other down with disagreements. So, an easy thing you can do daily to live out your commitment is making the choice to say things to encourage and build up your spouse. It will be well worth the effort!

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Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

 
Role Modeling Commitment Through Your Marriage | Part 3

Role Modeling Commitment Through Your Marriage | Part 3

Jun 27

Building The Foundation Of Commitment

As we have said this already this week the bottom line of commitment is choice. We make the choice to be committed to our marriage when times get hard. Emotions are fickle things and cannot be trusted, especially through those challenging seasons in marriage. That is why even if we do not feel like it we make the choice to love our spouse.

This level of commitment is such a valuable thing for our children to see, especially in a culture where it is rare. I have actually heard children ask their parents if the are getting a divorce after witnessing a disagreement. How scary for them to live with the thought that a simple disagreement is all it takes to dissolve a marriage. We need to live out our commitment daily in order to show our children what marriage means. Most of us took vows that said ‘in sickness and in health, until death part us”. Nothing in these vows says until I have “fallen out of love with you”. Like we said Monday love is an action not an emotion. Choose to live out the example of love for your children to see. Make the choice to serve your Heavenly Father by serving your spouse.

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Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

 
Role Modeling Commitment Through Your Marriage | Part 2

Role Modeling Commitment Through Your Marriage | Part 2

Jun 26

Why Commitment Is So Difficult Today

It is vitally important that our children are able to view our commitment to our marriage. This not only affects their current emotional state but their future marriage as well. But why is commitment so hard, especially on difficult days?

Culturally, we are not raised to have the focus of making someone else’s happiness our priority. Our focus usually is to make myself happy. We even usually take it a step further; if the other person is not meeting my needs then I look to get my needs met elsewhere. This is where we can leave ourselves vulnerable to affairs. Affairs can be more then just with a member of the opposite sex, who is not your spouse. An affair can be something you place in higher priority then your relationship with God or your spouse. For parents this can even be relationship with your children. It can also be getting your needs met by serving in your church or placing your job as a higher priority. None of these things, in and of themselves, are bad things to have as a priority but if you are placing them as higher importance then your spouse then it can effect your commitment to your marriage.

Make the choice to serve your spouse even if your needs are not getting met the way you would want them to be. Someone always has to be the one to make the first move, choose to emulate our Savior and serve the neighbor closest to you, your spouse.

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Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

 
Role Modeling Commitment Through Your Marriage | Part 1

Role Modeling Commitment Through Your Marriage | Part 1

Jun 25

The Impact Your Marriage Has On Your Kids

We have said many times that one of the biggest responsibilities of parenting is the constant reminder that we have little eyes watching everything we do. The choices that we make will shape our children’s lives and their future. Our topic this week is another area that will have a drastic effect on our children, that is how we live out our commitment to our marriage.

We live in a very consumer mentality society, which has seemingly snuck into every corner of our lives, including the family. Divorce has become commonplace instead of a rarity. The pain which divorce causes not only the couple but also the children is devastating. One of the reasons why this may be the case more today than ever is the fact that we look at marriage more as a contract between people rather then a vow or a covenant before God. We have also been deceived into thinking that love is a feeling. Love is not an emotional response to someone else, neither is it to be confused with the concept of romance. The word love is actually a verb. It is something that we live out daily. In other words, choosing to stay true to the covenant you made with your spouse before God is ultimately love. Serving your spouse even when you don’t feel like it, that’s love! So with this line of thinking you can’t really “fall in love” or out of it for that matter. Love is a choice. Choose to stay committed to your spouse today, this choice will have a major impact on your children and their future!

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Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.