Monthly Archives: September 2012

Interview With Dr. Bob Barnes about Broward County, Florida LGBT decision

2012-09-30T21:42:11+00:00

An interview with Dr. Barnes about Broward County, Florida schools calling October LGBT History Month and how parents should respond

Interview With Dr. Bob Barnes about Broward County, Florida LGBT decision 2012-09-30T21:42:11+00:00

Training Toddlers with Guest: Efrain Figueroa | Part 5

2012-10-04T15:04:37+00:00

Pursuing A Plan

In the next few weeks we are going to spend an entire series on creating a plan, for that reason we aren’t going to go into great detail today. However, there are a few things that are important to know about the plan process. The first thing to remember is that it is vital to have a plan for parenting. We discussed in our series on yelling that when you don’t have a plan for discipline it is easy to become the consequence.
Secondly, it is important to make sure the plan in thoroughly communicated. This includes both spouses and the child involved. It is hard to be consistent with a plan if both parents aren’t on the same page. Which brings us to the final thing that is imperative to the plan, consistency. In order for a child to learn it is their behavior causing the consequences, the discipline must be consistent every time. Otherwise it is communicated that discipline is on the parent’s whim rather then connected to the child’s behavior.
Remember to keep a lookout for our series on creating that plan!

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on the topic of toddlers.

Training Toddlers with Guest: Efrain Figueroa | Part 5 2012-10-04T15:04:37+00:00

Training Toddlers with Guest: Efrain Figueroa | Part 4

2012-10-04T15:04:16+00:00

Think Principles Not Procedures

If we are training with the purpose of raising a Godly child who is marriageable and employable it is easy to get overwhelmed with all the things for which we need to prepare our child. Especially a toddler whose entire purpose it seems is to test the realities of the boundaries placed before him.
However, if in the early years we can “lump” those rules in to principles we want to teach it will be easier both to communicate and to remember. For example, the simple principle of listen and obey, covers a multitude of rules. Another principle such as being kind to others helps blanket another set of rules, like not hitting, etc. If we can come up with consequences and rewards for our set of “principles” then the task suddenly doesn’t seem so insurmountable. Process through the Godly principles you want to instill in your child. These toddler years are a great place to begin this training!

Listen to today’s podcast for more on the topic of toddlers.

Training Toddlers with Guest: Efrain Figueroa | Part 4 2012-10-04T15:04:16+00:00

Training Toddlers with Guest: Efrain Figueroa | Part 3

2012-10-04T15:05:13+00:00

Purposeful Training

Yesterday we discussed “remembering your purpose”, when parenting toddlers we need to take that a step further. After establishing our purpose, we need to filter all of our training through it. This may seem like an insurmountable task but actually may help simplify the parenting process. Our purpose for parenting is to raise a Godly child who is marriageable and employable. So if we start with that end in mind it may help us to filter what may be just a parental preference, something that was a rule when the parent was a child and things that will help to accomplish our goal for parenting. There are obvious rules that we must instill like the meaning of “no” and things like not hitting. There are rules that seem to be gray areas like manners or running in the house. Now obviously manners and learning self control are very important for the future but we also must process our expectations for a young child. Take the time to filter your training through the ultimate parenting goals. Also take the time to have a staff meeting with your spouse to make sure you are on the same page, as well as talking through your expectations for your toddler to make sure they are age appropriate.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on the topic of toddlers.

Training Toddlers with Guest: Efrain Figueroa | Part 3 2012-10-04T15:05:13+00:00

Training Toddlers with Guest: Efrain Figueroa | Part 2

2012-10-04T15:03:51+00:00

Keep Focused on the Purpose

When in the “toddler trenches” it is important that we focus on our purpose. You may ask yourself, why am I doing this? Why am I fighting this battle day in and day out, it is exhausting? Keep in front of you the purpose for parenting. The goal is to raise a Godly child who is both marriageable and employable.
It also helps to keep in perspective that God has allowed us the privilege of training the children He has given us and we will be accountable to Him for that training.
He does encourage us with a promise in Proverbs 22:6. “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Training takes consistency, patience and intentionality. Remember that this period of “parenting bootcamp” is brief but how we handle it will impact the ease of our parenting in the future. Choose to be consistent and let your no mean no.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on toddlers.

Training Toddlers with Guest: Efrain Figueroa | Part 2 2012-10-04T15:03:51+00:00

Training Toddlers with Guest: Efrain Figueroa | Part 1

2012-10-04T15:02:57+00:00

The Right Perspective

It is very important when in the midst, or battlefield, of training toddlers to have the proper perspective. First, we need to remember that this is just a phase. While we can’t use it as an excuse for allowing behavior, it may give us strength in day to day to remember “this too shall pass.”
It is our job to instill in our children a moral compass or the ability to know right from wrong. This training begins with the toddler phase when we begin to teach them what the word no means. That is why it is imperative through this phase that we are consistent in discipline and making sure that our no means no.
Join us for the next two weeks as we begin to dive into the ups and downs of this roller-coaster we fondly know as toddlerhood.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on the topic of toddlers.

Training Toddlers with Guest: Efrain Figueroa | Part 1 2012-10-04T15:02:57+00:00

Yelling | Part 5

2017-03-06T12:05:22+00:00

The ICE Plan

In order to be consistent with a plan we need to create one. A very simple plan for discipline is called the ICE plan. This stands for Instruct, Consequence and Exercise. What this means is the parent gives the child an instruction for their behavior. Such as, “clean your room”. Next the consequence for that behavior needs to be established and the child needs to be informed of that consequence. “I need you to have your room cleaned before we go to your friends house. If it is not cleaned up by 4, that will mean that you will be choosing not to go.” Finally, we need to step back and allow them to exercise their choice. This allows us to be removed from the consequence. Because the child had already been instructed all the parent has to do is follow thru. If consequences are thought up ahead of time that should help to eliminate the yelling. The child can then begin to make the connection that it is their behavior, not the parent, that is causing the consequences.

For more on this plan listen to today’s podcast.

Yelling | Part 5 2017-03-06T12:05:22+00:00

Yelling | Part 4

2012-09-26T13:19:57+00:00

How To Stop

There are four easy steps to remember in order to stop yelling. Anticipate the behavior, don’t be caught off guard. Develop a plan for dealing with unacceptable behavior. Develop your response ahead of time for dealing with defiance. Choose not to become the consequence.

Remember, the consequence is not to break the child’s will. The consequence is supposed to be just enough to make the child think. If established and consistently enforced it will cause the child to choose to be responsible. Make sure the consequence is selected ahead of time to make it possible for the parentand child to maintain their relationship. The child might be mad at the parent at first, but eventually, if there is no yelling the child will realize that his parent is not part of this consequence. This makes it easier for the child to realize that his parents are still pulling for him to win, and they still love him regardless.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on the topic of yelling.

Yelling | Part 4 2012-09-26T13:19:57+00:00

Yelling | Part 3

2012-09-19T13:43:53+00:00

How It Damages The Parent Child Relationship

Yelling does damage to the parent child relationship because it uses that relationship as a weapon. The parent themselves become the consequence. We have talked numerous times how important it is to stay removed from the consequence. We do this so that the child will learn it is their behavior that is earning the consequence. It’s not just on the parents whim. When we yell this is hard to distinguish and can ultimately cause anger in the child.
The other reason why yelling is an ineffective consequence is that a child can learn to tune it out. In the long run it may not deter negative behavior at all.
These are the reasons we must come up with a plan for discipline using effective consequences in order to train our children.

For more insight on this topic listen to today’s podcast.

Yelling | Part 3 2012-09-19T13:43:53+00:00

Yelling | Part 2

2012-09-18T12:51:46+00:00

When Do Parents Yell?
In order to stop doing something, we need to be aware of when it is happening. Yesterday, we discussed that yelling takes place most often when there isn’t a plan. We need to identify those times in our own lives where we don’t have a plan in place. Without a plan it is very easy to get exasperated. Other times it is simply that we don’t expect our children to be children. If this happens their immaturity can frustrate or annoy.
Finally, like we said yesterday, if we get embarrassed by our children’s behavior it is easy to overreact in order to “get it under control.” For example, those trips to the grocery store with a tantruming toddler.
Take the time to identify those moments in your own parenting experience where you may be tempted to yell.
Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on the topic of yelling.

Yelling | Part 2 2012-09-18T12:51:46+00:00