Help! My Children are So Different! | Part 1

Help! My Children are So Different! | Part 1

Mar 31

How Did This Happen?

One thing that can help us as we process the fact that we have children that are completely different, is the fact that they are different by design.  God tells us in Psalm 139, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed (not uniformed) body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

Each child is different and they are supposed to be different. If a parent is looking to manage the behavior of the child rather than train up a child the differences will be annoying.  We need to take the approach that not only is it ok that our children act and react differently but we need to embrace and encourage their personalities.  We cannot take a “one size fits all” approach to parenting.  Take the time to become a student of each of your children.  Learn what makes them tick not only will you have a deeper appreciation of who God has made them to be but it will help you along the parenting journey of molding them into the men and women that God destined them to be.

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

 
Protecting My Marriage With Boundaries | Part 5

Protecting My Marriage With Boundaries | Part 5

Mar 28

Good Boundaries In The Work Environment

As we have discussed this week, boundaries are something that have to be consistently dialoged about.  We need to be open to talk through the things that make our spouse feel uncomfortable.  Even if they don’t make sense to us, most things will be small things to give up for the sake trust in our relationship.  The work place needs to be a place that we are consistently aware of this.  It is the place, other then home, that we spend most of our time.  Make sure to process through what appropriate boundaries are for dealing with coworkers of the opposite sex.

One of the most important things you can do for your marriage is, not only to have a good defense or boundaries, but a good offence.  Make sure that you are constantly building, putting time and effort into the relationship.  This is a good way to protect either spouse from being vulnerable.  Someone once told me “you never want to send your spouse hungry into a pastry shop.”   This is true of both emotional and physical needs.  Make sure to make your marriage a priority and take the time to set up boundaries to protect it!

 

For more on this topic listen to today’s podcast.

 
Protecting My Marriage With Boundaries | Part 4

Protecting My Marriage With Boundaries | Part 4

Mar 27

Boundaries Are Trust Builders

With the influx of social media, texting, and internet usage, it creates a whole new set if issues with regards to boundaries.   A sense of openness with our spouses on the use of technology, creates trust.  We shouldn’t have anything that is “off limits” to our spouse.   If we have any texts, emails or interactions on social media that we don’t feel comfortable with our spouse looking at, then we need to reevaluate what we are doing.  We must set boundaries with who we interact with in social media, how we are going to handle texts, and chatting with those of the opposite sex.  These can be areas of danger if we are not careful.  Make sure to have a conversation with your spouse about how you are going to set up boundaries with regards to these issues.  Remember the verse in Genesis discussing being “naked and not ashamed” was not a physical reference.  It was talking about complete openness and honesty with the other person.  Setting up boundaries allows us to do this.

 

For more on this topic listen to today’s podcast.

 
Protecting My Marriage With Boundaries | Part 3

Protecting My Marriage With Boundaries | Part 3

Mar 26

Starting The Conversation

Having the conversation about how to place boundaries can be very intimidating.  Because it is so important to do we need to prepare ourselves to make sure that we are approaching it correctly.  This could be an area that spouses may not agree 100 percent.  We need to make sure that how we approach the topic is correct.  If we go in accusatory, “the way you are handling this…”, it will probably make our spouse defensive and end up creating an argument.  Remember, we want to place boundaries around our marriage not tear down our own walls in the process.   We want to go into the discussion open and vulnerable.   There may even be a reason why one spouse is feeling insecure about an area.  It may be good to approach the topic from that perspective.  For example, maybe the wife has a friend whose spouse just left her for another woman.  A good way to bring up the topic of boundaries would be, “because of what happened with so and so, I’m feeling insecure.  It is nothing that you have done and I trust you, it’s just me right now.  Can we talk about some things that would help me to move past this insecurity?”

Make sure to have this conversation so that both spouses can be on the same page on how to place boundaries.

 

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Protecting My Marriage With Boundaries | Part 2

Protecting My Marriage With Boundaries | Part 2

Mar 25

Your Marriage Is Under Attack

As Christians we need to fervently protect our marriages.   We mentioned the verse yesterday that talks about the Devil being like a lion prowling and waiting to attack.  What a better way to devastate many people then to take down a marriage.  Not only are the spouses affected but the children, extended family and even people around them.  Many of us have observed or even felt the impact first hand of a pastor whose marriage has fallen apart.  This is an area that can have devastating and widely reaching consequences.  In Ephesians 6, it talks about the armor of God and how we protect ourselves from attacks.  The original language implies that our areas of weakness or Achilles’ heel are known.  We must make sure that we don’t get lazy in placing boundaries or think that this can never happen to us.  No one is immune.  We also need to analyze ourselves to see what maybe an area of weakness.  Are there perceived or real needs not being met by our spouse that may make us vulnerable?  Make this a priority to see what boundaries you need to strengthen around your marriage.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.