Monthly Archives: May 2014

Help! My Marriage Has Gotten Boring | Part 5

2014-05-30T19:45:37+00:00

Learning About Your Spouse and Physical Intimacy

Make sure to take the time to learn your spouse.  Are they the kind of person who likes surprises or do they need time in advance to adjust to ideas?  When planning activities to help get out of a rut learning this may be key, to not only actually getting out and doing them but making sure that both spouses enjoy the process.  This is even something that you can sit and do together.  Together you can process through a list of things that would be fun to do as a family or on date night.  If both spouse are involved in this process then both can be excited and looking forward to these activities.  Then make sure to put the list on the family calendar.

You can never be married to long to bring romance back into the marriage relationship.  Sexual intimacy is something that you only share with your spouse.  It is special and sacred that is why it is also something that should not be ignored.  For more on this topic click here to hear the series on romance in marriage.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more

Help! My Marriage Has Gotten Boring | Part 5 2014-05-30T19:45:37+00:00

Help! My Marriage Has Gotten Boring | Part 4

2014-05-29T15:22:43+00:00

Never Settle For Less

There are things we can do to make the marriage exciting.  We need to find ways to get out of the routine.  There does need to be some one on one time set aside with your spouse.  Make sure to make time for date nights, but you can even set aside the time after the children go to bed for something fun for just the two of you.  If you have older children that have a later bedtime, there can be a set time that they spend in their room before “lights out” in order for there to be time for your relationship.

There are many ways to incorporate fun back into the marriage.  One of the ways to help a marriage not get mundane, is focusing on the friendship aspect of the relationship.   Click here to see the week long series on how to become your spouses best friend.

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

Help! My Marriage Has Gotten Boring | Part 4 2014-05-29T15:22:43+00:00

Help! My Marriage Has Gotten Boring | Part 3

2014-05-28T12:46:19+00:00

Never Quit Trying

It’s interesting how we think of having an infant or small children as an exciting time/phase of life.  It is draining, but we will still label it as exciting or never a dull moment.  If we stop to think about it a baby can’t give anything back yet we are continually meeting their needs.  Sure we may have moments of feeling overwhelmed with the magnitude of the task of caring for them but we still do it with out the expectation of anything from them.  Why?…Because we love them.

How is this any different from our spouse?  We should be continually working on and putting into the relationship, because we love them.  Our society has trained us to look for quick fixes, but the marriage relationship is not a quick fix. It is a life long relationship.  We need to make sure that we are doing our part.  There will most assuredly be times where our spouse because of stress, other things going on in their life or even lack of knowing how, can’t give in the way we can.  Instead of getting frustrated with our spouse, make the choice to be the one who goes above and beyond for the sake of the relationship.  Remember the model for Love that was given to us, is the one who gave His life for us.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

Help! My Marriage Has Gotten Boring | Part 3 2014-05-28T12:46:19+00:00

Help! My Marriage Has Gotten Boring | Part 2

2014-05-27T12:49:46+00:00

Choose To Prioritize Your Marriage

We need to be prepared to build a team or “become one flesh”.   There are things that can hinder this process that we need to work through.  The first is expectations. Often our expectations of how marriage will be, often unrealistic and influenced by Hollywood, can taint our attitude about real life marriage.  Check out our week long series on expectations by clicking here.  Very likely, because we are different genders and different personalities we will need to learn how our spouse communicates in order to do it effectively.  Click here for more on this topic.  Another reason that marriage can become boring is because we don’t take the time to make it a priority.  Click here for more on this.  Finally many don’t know how to “work on the relationship”.  We need to give of ourselves rather then just waiting for things to get better.  Make sure to continue making your marriage a priority!

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

Help! My Marriage Has Gotten Boring | Part 2 2014-05-27T12:49:46+00:00

Help! My Marriage Has Gotten Boring | Part 1

2014-05-26T15:29:12+00:00

The Relationship Takes Work

We try to talk about the topic of marriage here on Parenting on Purpose, once a month.  Here are some of the reasons we feel that it is so important to discuss. First, if you are married, the parenting won’t work to its potential if the marriage isn’t working.  Second, your marriage is training your children how to do their marriage in the future.  Your marriage gives your children a secure environment or an insecure environment.  Your marriage is a team of two people with different complimenting gifts which, when working together, can divide up the training tasks and bless the children.  Lastly, your marriage is the team that builds the child or hinders their potential.  It is the foundation the children can grow up on.

One thing that may shock us as we get married is that marriage is work.  It takes work to make two separate lives, personalities, backgrounds and families into one life.  It is continued work.  If we don’t continue to give to our marriage relationship it can become stagnant.   Everything that is alive grows.  We must put the work into our marriage to maintain growth.  Check back with us all week as we discuss how to put into your marriage relationship to keep it alive, healthy and fun.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

 

 

Help! My Marriage Has Gotten Boring | Part 1 2014-05-26T15:29:12+00:00

Raising Your Child to be Financially Mature | Part 10

2014-05-20T11:39:37+00:00

The Series Wrap-up

What do I do if I feel like my child is just not getting the concept of how to deal with money?  As a parent, having to constantly repeat yourself can become very frustrating.  We have to remember that we are dealing with people not a computer, it is not a simple one time download.  Parenting is process oriented not result oriented.  We have to allow for the process to take time, not getting frustrated and giving up, if it appears as though something is just not sinking in.  In those times where it feels frustrating we must focus our efforts not on the discouragement, but on any small glimmer of progress.  When we see that glimmer of progress we must go crazy with praise for the child.  There are times when we may not feel the freedom to praise because the child has not reached the goal yet.  We have to keep in mind that part of our job as parents is to be our child’s cheerleader and encourager.  This will help through those times where it feels as though they will never get the concept.  Our encouragement and praise may just be the catalyst that makes that lesson sink in!

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on training your child to be financially responsible.

Raising Your Child to be Financially Mature | Part 10 2014-05-20T11:39:37+00:00

Raising Your Child to be Financially Mature | Part 9

2014-05-20T11:38:31+00:00

Preparing My Children for Financial Independence

One of the main goals for parenting is to train our children to be a responsible adult, which includes their finances.  Training our children requires that we put a plan into place early on to prepare them to handle money wisely.   If we don’t and we drop them off on a college campus or watch them go out the door as adults we have possibly set them up for failure.  To come up with a plan you can start at the end, or goal, and work backwards.  As your child leaves your home the goal is to have them fully prepared to use the tools that come with money, such as a debit card, credit card and budget.

We have talked over the past week how to use allowance with your small children to teach saving and then creating a budget with your older children.  As teens approach the end of high school there must be a plan in place to help train them to use a debit card, bank account and credit card responsibly.  This will take a lot of trust and communication on the part of the parent.  It is necessary to help your child be prepared to handle the financial temptations of the adult world and be strong enough to say no.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on training your child how to be financially independent.

Raising Your Child to be Financially Mature | Part 9 2014-05-20T11:38:31+00:00

Raising Your Child to be Financially Mature | Part 8

2014-05-20T11:37:18+00:00

Teaching Budgeting

Teaching our children to be financially responsible is more than just teaching them to save, it is also teaching them how to budget.  As our children get older one of the ways we can prepare them for adulthood is by training them to be organized financially.  This will require a few things of us as parents.  We will need to be organized ourselves so that we will know how much they need in order to pay for their own overhead, such as toiletries, ect.  The next thing is to help our child have a system in order to budget this money.  There are many systems out there that can be helpful, envelopes or a binder with pockets can be used.  The next step is to allow them to practice this training.  Just as with teaching them to save it is our job to get out of the way and allow them to make their own decisions.  As with anything practiced it won’t be perfect right away, we must allow them to fail in order to learn the lesson and do better next time.  Keep in mind that it will be much easier on our kids to practice and fail at budgeting now rather than in adulthood.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on teaching your child how to budget.

Raising Your Child to be Financially Mature | Part 8 2014-05-20T11:37:18+00:00

Raising Your Child to be Financially Mature | Part 7

2014-05-20T11:35:42+00:00

Chores and Allowance

Allowance and chores are both a great opportunity to teach your children what it means to be responsible within the family unit.  If we don’t attach a child’s weekly chores to their allowance we are teaching them that there are things that you do to simply contribute to the family.   As soon as a child is old enough they can begin with simple chores such as picking up their room and making their bed.  As they get older family chores can be slowly added.

One of the reasons to give children chores, such as taking care of their own bedroom, is to teach them responsibility and time management.  It is also good to continue to teach them life skills as they get older because we will not always be there to clean up behind them.  It is also a valuable lesson to teach that chores are done around the house simply to contribute to the family.  Adults don’t get “paid” to make their bed in the morning or do the dishes.  As we have been discussing over the past week, allowance should also be treated as an important training tool for teaching responsibility as well.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on teaching your child responsibility through allowance and chores.

Raising Your Child to be Financially Mature | Part 7 2014-05-20T11:35:42+00:00

Raising Your Child to be Financially Mature | Part 6

2014-05-20T11:33:26+00:00

Encouraging Good Stewardship

Is it truly more blessed to give than receive?  For children this may be a hard lesson to get across if we their parents don’t live like we believe it.  Today we are going to talk about the concept of good stewardship.  Good stewardship is not just learning to be good with money it takes this a step farther.  It means learning to be Godly with our money.

The first lesson in stewardship, tithing, is easy to teach your child using their allowance.  Letting your child put aside some of their own money to give back to God on Sunday is very important. We must use this experience to communicate with our children the very essence of stewardship.  This is the fact that God as Creator owns it all and we are merely managers of what He has given us.  If we can continually remind our children, and ourselves, of this concept it helps us not only keep an attitude of gratitude but also of generosity.  As we give our children more and more opportunities to be generous with others they will begin to learn that it is truly more blessed to give then receive.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on teaching your child stewardship.

Raising Your Child to be Financially Mature | Part 6 2014-05-20T11:33:26+00:00