Monthly Archives: September 2014

The Power of Our Words | Part 5

2014-09-09T13:15:48+00:00

Your Words with the Negative Child

For every family there is either a child, or a stage for a child, who is more difficult to encourage.  Some children just have a more difficult time accepting praise so they bite back.  There are also times where a child is struggling through something and has difficulty expressing themselves.  The difficult child or difficult stages of our child’s life, such as middle school, are the times that they need our verbal encouragement the most.  It is so easy as parents to take it personally when our encouragement is blown off and we shut down.  We need to constantly analyze ourselves to make sure that we are not taking our children’s attitudes or behavior personally.   The expectation should be that our children will act like children.  They are immature emotionally and will not handle things like adults.

We must go out of our way through the difficult seasons to encourage.  Choose to go above and beyond with that child.  Leave notes in their lunches or backpacks for them to find and on their mirror for when they get home.  Sit on their bed at night and tell them one thing that you that made your proud of them that day.  Force yourself to get in a routine of encouragement.  We so often forget these important investments into our children in the busyness of life.  They are worth the effort! Choose to take the time to verbally invest in your children!

Listen to today’s podcast for more ideas on how to verbally invest in your children.

The Power of Our Words | Part 5 2014-09-09T13:15:48+00:00

The Power of Our Words | Part 4

2014-09-09T12:58:00+00:00

Investing in Your Son

Verbally investing in your children needs to be something that is done daily.  We discussed the importance of investing in your daughter, but what about a son?

Four words that go a very long way for a son are, “I’m Proud of You!”  Affirmation for a young boy is pivotal.  For a girl it seems that they ultimately want to hear, “I notice you, because you are important to me.”  For a boy it is more, “ I notice what you are doing, because you are important to me.”  How many times do we hear from our sons, mom/dad watch this?  They want to know that they are doing a good job and that we are proud of the job they are doing. This seems to be the child version of the verses in Ephesians 5. These verses on marriage  discuss the needs of the male and female.  Men need the respect of their wives and wives need to feel the unconditional love of their husbands.

Remember, even if things aren’t done exactly how we would want them, we must applaud the effort.  Applauding effort not only outcomes is key!  For example, if you have given your young son a job, like cleaning up his toys, even if they are not put back exactly how you would have there still needs to be affirmation and encouragement.  This goes such along way!  If a boy doesn’t receive this affirmation, especially from dad, he may go through his life constantly seeking the approval of others.

Make sure that you are looking for ways to affirm your son and remind him just how proud you are of his effort in whatever he does!!!

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on the power of your words in your son’s life!

The Power of Our Words | Part 4 2014-09-09T12:58:00+00:00

The Power of Our Words | Part 3

2014-09-09T12:56:37+00:00

Encouraging More than Physical Beauty

It is very easy for our daughters to be wrapped up in appearances.  Even though great strides have been made for women, today’s media still seems to put beauty in the forefront for women to achieve.  Why else are there still models that are unhealthy because they are so thin or actresses who feel the need to have plastic surgery?   Here in south Florida even radio stations are playing adds for non-essential plastic surgeries.  This is the culture that our daughters have to grow up in but we as parents can help our daughters fight this pressure.

This is where our words are so important.  First we need to remind our daughters that no matter what they are beautiful.  While it sounds cliché, true beauty is really found on the inside.  How many times do we think someone is beautiful because of who they are? There is radiance to character.

Secondly we need to be careful to compliment our daughters on more than their appearance.  Make sure to daily compliment your kids on things they do well, but especially you daughter.  We need to notice and speak up when they make the right choice. We also need to look for and give opportunities for any talents that our daughters have to blossom.  Make it a priority for your daughter to know she is worth so much more than simply what she looks like.

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic

The Power of Our Words | Part 3 2014-09-09T12:56:37+00:00

The Power of Our Words | Part 2

2014-09-09T12:47:16+00:00

Our Words and Daughters

Girls, for the most part, tend to be more verbal creatures and because of this we need to be even more careful how we talk to our daughters.  Our words can have an even bigger impact on them.

Dads in particular have an amazing amount of power behind their words.  Their words can mold and shape who their daughter will become.  Sadly, most men are unaware of the kind of power their words hold.  Many times a girl will determine how she is suppose to be talked to by how her father communicates to her.  Another thing that a girl will use to determine how women are to be treated, is how her father treats and talks to her mother.  We need to be very careful as parents even how we are talking to each other. Are we communicating our love and respect for each other even in disagreements?

Dads with daughters need to be especially careful to build up and edify their daughters.  They need to communicate how valuable and loved their daughter is.  Take the time to evaluate how and what you are communicating to your daughter. Her future may depend on it!

Listen to today’s podcast for more about communication and daughters.

The Power of Our Words | Part 2 2014-09-09T12:47:16+00:00

The Power of Our Words | Part 1

2014-09-09T12:42:50+00:00

Our Words Matter

One of the most important things to be aware of as parents is the impact of our words on our children.  It’s not only what we say to our kids but how we say it.  This can have a dramatic effect on our children’s self worth.  There are two verses in the Bible that are something that each parent should memorize. The first is Ephesians 4:29, which states, “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. “   The second verse that we need to keep at the forefront of our minds is James 1:19.  This verse commands us that, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

As we begin the new year, take some time to process through how you have been communicating with your children.  If you are communicating out of frustration, stress or anger, you may be saying things that are hurting your children.  Make one of this year’s resolutions be to take control of the words you are speaking to your children.  Only allow what will build them up to come out of your mouth.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

The Power of Our Words | Part 1 2014-09-09T12:42:50+00:00

Preparing My Children for the Temptations in Life with Adam Roberts | Part 5

2014-09-05T19:37:36+00:00

Giving Them The Privilege of Inner Tension

When we utilize the plan we set in place we give them the option of choosing whether to follow the rules, or to not follow the rules and choose the consequence. We are creating in them an inner conflict, which is a great learning tool. Do I follow my wants/ or do I follow what I am supposed to do? This is a lesson that is invaluable through the adult life. Learning how to say no to self, because it is the right thing, helps in all areas. Earlier this week we linked back to the series called The Power of No; another series that will help you in training your child to deal with temptation is a series on impulse control. Click here for that series.

Another area of training that creates that inner conflict is teaching delayed gratification.  Training them that not giving in to the immediate, but the best that comes later is a great lesson in how to appropriately deal with temptation. Click here for a series on delayed gratification.  Using money is a great way to teach delayed gratification, Click here  for the week long series about teaching your children about finances.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more.

Preparing My Children for the Temptations in Life with Adam Roberts | Part 5 2014-09-05T19:37:36+00:00

Preparing My Children for the Temptations in Life with Adam Roberts | Part 4

2014-09-04T19:34:07+00:00

It Starts With The Little Things

In order to train our children in anything we must start a plan. Teaching our child to deal with temptation is no different. When we start with a plan for the little behaviors or little temptations we are training them to deal with the bigger temptations in the future. For more on setting up a parenting plan click here for our week-long series.

We also, using Joseph as an great example, need to teach our children why it’s important to turn away from temptation. We must begin to instill in them that God has a plan for their life. It is worth doing the right thing, which may not be the easy thing, to be able to find God’s best for their lives. For more on helping our children develop a relationship with God click here.

 

As always listen to today’s podcast for more

Preparing My Children for the Temptations in Life with Adam Roberts | Part 4 2014-09-04T19:34:07+00:00

Preparing My Children for the Temptations in Life with Adam Roberts | Part 3

2014-09-03T12:51:45+00:00

The Power of Choice

We talked yesterday that training in responsibility helps their future in two ways. First it helps them to become responsible adults. Second, teaching responsibility trains a child that there are times when you have to put your desires or wants aside to do the right or responsible thing. This is teaching them how to deal with temptation on a smaller scale.

Another area that we can help is making our “no” mean “no”. When we do this we help them to know that there are some things that are not permissible. This is one thing that helps them to develop a moral compass. For a small child when a “no” always means “no”. It teaches them that there are things that are absolute. You will never be allowed to ….. because it’s not safe. This development helps for the future when they are faced with a choice. I will not allow myself to….

For more on The Power of No check out our week long series.

 

As always listen to today’s podcast for more.

Preparing My Children for the Temptations in Life with Adam Roberts | Part 3 2014-09-03T12:51:45+00:00

Preparing My Children for the Temptations in Life with Adam Roberts | Part 2

2014-09-02T12:37:38+00:00

Why This Important For Their Future

Every thing that we spend time training our children needs to start with the question “why”. Why is this worth training? When we answer this question we can prioritize our training. Teaching them how to deal with temptation from even an early age will help them when they face temptation that could have life altering outcomes. If we think about it, much of the training that we do deals with temptation. When we are training our child to be responsible we are teaching them to say “no” to temptation. Doing their homework rather then giving in to the temptation to watch TV. Following the instruction of a parent rather then giving in to the temptation of ignoring and continuing to play. Choosing to get out of bed on their own after being woken up one time rather then giving in to the temptation of rolling over and going back to sleep.

All of these small areas of responsibility will help prepare them for the bigger areas of the teen years. Decisions like giving in to the temptation to stay at a party when things are heading in a bad direction or making the choice to leave. Making the choice to get physically involved with a boyfriend or girlfriend or wait for God’s perfect plan. As teens begin to spread their wings they will be faced with bigger temptations. This is why we need to focus on this training from the early years!

 

For more on this topic listen to today’s podcast.

Preparing My Children for the Temptations in Life with Adam Roberts | Part 2 2014-09-02T12:37:38+00:00

Preparing My Children for the Temptations in Life with Adam Roberts | Part 1

2014-09-02T11:57:09+00:00

The Need For This Training

If you have lived on this earth that God has given us for any amount of time, you know that we all face temptation. It was something that even Jesus faced. We will face small temptations, like skipping exercise or hitting the snooze, probably daily. We will all face big temptations at one point or another in our lives as well. Unfortunately, we have probably also all felt pained by giving into temptations ourselves or felt the affects of another who has fallen into sin.

Good men and women fall because they are not prepared to face temptation. And far too often, adults who have so much to offer fall into sin. 1Peter 5:8 reminds us, “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

Temptation training begins at home, the earlier the better. As parents, we must choose to understand that one of the most profound gifts we can give our children is this “temptation training.” One of the heroes of faith we will be looking at this week is Joseph. Take the time to read his story in Genesis 37, and the rest of the story in chapters 39-47.

 

For more on temptation training listen to today’s podcast.

Preparing My Children for the Temptations in Life with Adam Roberts | Part 1 2014-09-02T11:57:09+00:00