Monthly Archives: March 2015

The Reason for Chores | Part 4

2015-03-16T12:24:29+00:00

Implementing Chores

Many parents ask the question should allowance be attached to chores? The response is what are we training them for? The purpose of training up a child is to ready them for adulthood. There are many jobs that we as adults have to do around the house. I don’t remember ever receiving a paycheck for doing dishes, laundry or taking out the trash.  One of the purposes of chores is to teach children that there are things that we do simply to be a contributing member of a family. There may be extra jobs that are not considered regular chores, such as cleaning out the refrigerator or cleaning windows, that could be done to earn some extra cash.  This teaches a child to go above and beyond what is simply required of them. These extra jobs can also be used as consequences, without pay, for chores not done.
Many parents then ask how do I get my child to do household chores? We discussed yesterday setting up a reward/consequence plan for chores. We as adults do have a reward for household chores-a clean and relaxing living space. Think of some rewards,not monetary, that will motivate your child as well as consequences for chores not done.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on chores.

The Reason for Chores | Part 4 2015-03-16T12:24:29+00:00

The Reason for Chores | Part 3

2015-03-16T12:24:03+00:00

Chores Teach A Child To Choose

We discussed yesterday that chores train a child to do what is responsible rather then what is pleasurable. The question is where is a parent to start? The concept of chores is something that can start as early as preschool with simple tasks.  In our house, we are working with our three-year-old son teaching him how to clean up after himself. He picks up one set of toys before bringing out another.  Of course it would be MUCH faster, and I probably wouldn’t have to sing the clean up song, if I just ran around after him straightening.  If I consistently did the work for him, however, then he wouldn’t be ready for the next step, cleaning his room on his own.

For any child utilizing the ICE plan is key for chores.  Instruct them what your expectation is.  Tell them ahead of time what the consequence is for not completing the chore and what the reward is for completing the chore to your expectation.  Finally and sometimes most difficultly we have to step back and let them exercise their choice.  Are they going to choose a reward or consequence?

In the residential homes at Sheridan house the teens have chores every morning.  The room that does the best in their chores gets ice cream at the end of the week.  Many kids are reward driven so attaching rewards early on for a job well done will easily teach that it’s worth it to work hard.

 

For more on chores listen to today’s podcast.

The Reason for Chores | Part 3 2015-03-16T12:24:03+00:00

The Reason for Chores | Part 2

2016-07-25T11:47:37+00:00

Why It’s So Important

Why is it so important to fight the chores battle as parents? There are four main reasons. First there is nothing that teaches a child personal responsibility as well as chores.  It teaches a child to make the choice between what they want to do and what they need to do.  This learned responsibility translates into many adult situations from credit cards to sexuality.

Chores can communicate that a child is needed.  Every part of the family pitches in to help out.

It can also help to teach a child how to take initiative as well as learning the importance of excellence.  If I do something right the first time I won’t have to go back and fix it.

Lastly it prepares a child for emancipation from the home.  We have laughed about how many college freshman have no idea how to do laundry.  But simply teaching a child how to do chores helps them to learn basic household management skills.

 

For more on why chores are such an important area to train your child in, listen to today’s podcast.

The Reason for Chores | Part 2 2016-07-25T11:47:37+00:00

The Reason for Chores | Part 1

2015-03-15T18:38:58+00:00

Why Don’t We Give Our Kids Chores Anymore?

This week will be spent talking about the importance of children doing household chores. The interesting thing is that it seems overall families don’t prioritize their children doing chores.  Why is this?

There are many reasons for this but it seems that the main reason is time.  We are all very busy from adults to children in the home, our schedules are jam-packed.  The priority of chores has fallen by the wayside. It also takes a lot of time put in by the parent.  It takes time to train your child how to do the chore.  It takes time to inspect the chores and make sure that they are done to your standard.  It also takes time to correct mistakes, as well as time to cheer when the chore is done right.  This is why many parents shy away from the job of training their children to do chores.  “It just seems faster and easier to do it myself. “

Chores are an important part of training a child however.   There are many lessons that can be learned from them.  Check back the rest of this week to see why they are invaluable!

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on chores.

The Reason for Chores | Part 1 2015-03-15T18:38:58+00:00

How Parenting Impacts Your Marriage | Part 5

2015-05-20T11:40:35+00:00

Choosing to Sacrifice

It is so easy to get into a survival mode when parenting, especially the early years. In trying to figure out the balance of taking care of others, your spouse and yourself, it is easy to get that balance off. For some it maybe easy to focus on work to escape the unending needs of others. Society pushes, especially for moms, to focus on taking care of themselves first and then others. While we do need to take time for ourselves, especially to focus on our spiritual walk, we are called to put others needs before ourselves. Jesus gave us that example as he washed the feet of his disciples. It is easier to make sacrifices for our children, but what about our spouse? So often our spouse gets the last bit of our energy or none at all. What can we do to make sure that we are giving our spouse the best of us? Are there some sacrifices that we need to make to put our marriage as the priority? Maybe cut back on our schedule? Are there some financial decisions we can cut back on to free up a work schedule? Is it something as simple as getting up a few minutes early to have a cup of coffee and prayer time, so your family gets the best of you in the mornings?

Take time to look and see if there are some areas you may need to sacrifice in, to communicate to your spouse that they are a priority.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more.

How Parenting Impacts Your Marriage | Part 5 2015-05-20T11:40:35+00:00

How Parenting Impacts Your Marriage | Part 4

2015-05-20T11:38:51+00:00

Money and Sex

These are two of the biggest areas for marital conflict anyway, but adding kids to the mix can exacerbate the situation. Having the time and energy for sex when parenting can be hard, especially with little children. Click here for a series on romance in marriage.

Extra people in the house pulling on a tight budget can add extra stress, more so when this is an area of contention. We have spent a week series devoted to the issue of money in marriage. Click here to check it out.

 

For more listen to today’s podcast.

How Parenting Impacts Your Marriage | Part 4 2015-05-20T11:38:51+00:00

How Parenting Impacts Your Marriage | Part 3

2015-05-20T11:37:14+00:00

Helping Each Other- Part Two

It is so easy as parents, to allow your marriage to get placed on the back burner. With crazy schedules and making sure the kids needs are met, where can you find time for the marriage? How do you make that a priority? Check out this weeklong series we did about making your marriage the priority by clicking here.

 

…But before you do that listen to today’s podcast!

How Parenting Impacts Your Marriage | Part 3 2015-05-20T11:37:14+00:00

How Parenting Impacts Your Marriage | Part 2

2015-05-20T11:33:34+00:00

Helping Each Other-Part 1

We can coax our husband into and empower him to parent; or we can add one more thing to his to do list. We don’t want to be a nagging wife but we also don’t want to resent our spouse because we feel so overwhelmed. This is such an important topic we spent a weeklong series looking at it. Click here to see that series.

 

For more, listen to today’s podcast.

How Parenting Impacts Your Marriage | Part 2 2015-05-20T11:33:34+00:00

How Parenting Impacts Your Marriage | Part 1

2015-05-20T11:31:49+00:00

Children Have a Huge Impact On Our Marriage

It is amazing how so many of us go into parenting so unprepared for the changes it will bring in our lives. We treat it like it is something to add to what we are already doing, just an add-on in our lifestyle, rather then a complete lifestyle change. Getting married we are suppose to learn to be selfless, to put another’s needs before our own, to go from me to us. This may be why some of those early years of marriage are difficult as we figure out how to do this. Parenting is something that forces us to put someone else’s needs before our own.

There are also some basic areas of conflict in a marriage, things like communication, finances, sex life, time together and in-laws. Parenting can exacerbate all the marital “conflict zones.” Because it can create conflict and because parenting is so much more demanding of our energy and attention, it is very easy to put the marriage on the back burner. Looking at it from this perspective can seem overwhelming. Thankfully, this week we will be looking at how to make sure to prioritize your marriage.

 

For more on this topic listen to today’s podcast:

How Parenting Impacts Your Marriage | Part 1 2015-05-20T11:31:49+00:00