Monthly Archives: April 2015

What My Kids See In My Marriage | Part 4

2015-05-26T11:40:19+00:00

Do They See Friendship?

Having a marriage relationship that lasts has several key ingredients, one of them being friendship. Do you enjoy time that you spend with your spouse? Is your spouse your best friend? It is easy for couples who are dating to be best friends because they spend so much time together and have common interests. There are times when life gets in the way for a marriage relationship and the friendship gets lost in the shuffle.   Click here for the series that can help if you feel like you are in a rut.

This is one of those areas of marriage that is so important for your children to see. Make sure that they can see you have fun together.

 

Listen for today’s podcast for more.

What My Kids See In My Marriage | Part 4 2015-05-26T11:40:19+00:00

What My Kids See In My Marriage | Part 3

2015-05-26T11:38:55+00:00

Submission and Sacrifice

Submission almost seems like a four letter word in today’s culture of empowerment. However, in order to become a working unit we have look at the principles of submission and sacrifice. We are ok with the word “sacrifice” because we know that in order to be healthy we have to make sacrifices in the way we eat and exercise. In order to meet specific goals we have to be willing to sacrifice some of our wants and desires. As parents, we hopefully sacrifice our needs for the needs of our children. Why then do we have such a hard time sacrificing or submitting to put our spouse’s needs before our own? It may be that we have fallen into the trap of believing our spouse is the one that is there to meet our needs. Placing that expectation on your spouse is too huge an order for one person to fill. Jesus calls us to serve each other, especially those closest to us. He demonstrated this by washing the feet of those closest to Him.

Our children will learn submission and sacrifice by watching it in action.

 

For more on this topic listen to today’s podcast.

What My Kids See In My Marriage | Part 3 2015-05-26T11:38:55+00:00

What My Kids See In My Marriage | Part 2

2015-05-26T11:37:22+00:00

What Impacts Our View of Marriage

There are four major places that can influence how we see marriage. The first is the culture around us. For this next generation that may seem a bit grim as we look around at the divorce rates and the state of the marriage in our culture today. Another area that culture impacts is the cultural roles which we have been exposed to. Our personal view is the next thing that impacts how we go into marriage. How have dating relationships or interactions with the opposite sex shaped the way we come into marriage? Another major area, and the reason for this week’s topic is the familial impact on our marriage. We spend 18 or so years observing how our parents and grandparents live out their marriages. This plays a major role in our view of how marriage should be. Finally, God has set before us some how to’s for living out marriage and what Love should look like. We should make sure that regardless of what else has impacted our view of marriage, we are going to the creator of marriage to see His plan and design.

 

For more on this topic listen to today’s podcast.

What My Kids See In My Marriage | Part 2 2015-05-26T11:37:22+00:00

What My Kids See In My Marriage | Part 1

2015-05-26T11:36:00+00:00

Why It’s Important to Think About This

This is an area that many parents don’t take the time to process through. When my kids see my spouse and I interact, what do they see? What impression do they take away of what marriage is really like? Do they see us disagree in a healthy or unhealthy way? Do they see us always treat each other with respect? What do I say about my spouse when they are not around? Do they ever see us affectionate with one another? Do they know that we are a united front when it comes to parenting, we will always have each other’s back?

These are all such important questions to process through. Research shows that our marriage will not only impact our children’s future marriages but how they even perceive marriage in general. It is important to take time to look at the patterns in our marriage and what they are communicating to our children.

 

For more on this topic listen to today’s podcast.

What My Kids See In My Marriage | Part 1 2015-05-26T11:36:00+00:00

The Importance of Healthy Relationships in Your Child’s Life | Part 4

2015-05-20T12:06:18+00:00

The Discipline Factor and It’s Spiritual Impact

One of the most important areas for a parent child relationship is how we discipline. There are two phrases that we use when teaching parents and they are “Rules without relationship lead to rebellion” as well as “Relationship without rules leads to rebellion.” It is a balancing act. The amazing thing is that because we tend to marry our opposite, one parent usually is high-end relationship while the other focuses more on the rules. We need to make sure that we know which one we are so we can be sure to find a balance. Because we are the first example of our Heavenly Father to our children, we must take finding this balance seriously. One of the easiest ways to do this is to make sure that you are not becoming the consequence yourself or pulling away from your child relationally while giving a consequence. It is also imperative that after a consequence is given, you must take time to “repair” relationship. Sit with your child, give them a hug and reassure them that you love them. Also keep in mind that your child who is being the most difficult to deal with at the moment, usually is the one that you need to invest the most in relationally. Check out this series, by clicking here, for more on separating the relationship from the discipline.

 

For more on this topic listen to today’s podcast.

The Importance of Healthy Relationships in Your Child’s Life | Part 4 2015-05-20T12:06:18+00:00

The Importance of Healthy Relationships in Your Child’s Life | Part 3

2015-05-20T12:03:14+00:00

Beginning to Build Relationships

We mentioned yesterday that the very basic thing you need in order to build relationships is time. We also gave some ideas on where to start yesterday. Another very easy place to start is by setting aside time to “date” your kids. In our house every Wednesday morning my dad would alternate taking my brother and me out for breakfast. This tradition went back as far as I can remember. We would get up a little early, eat a quick breakfast and then be back in time to head to school. Those were times we would always look forward to because we would get dad all to ourselves. It wasn’t a huge deal, meaning there wasn’t pageantry about where we would go or what we would do. What there was however, was consistency.  Without fail we could count on these breakfast taking place. They even happened when we were home from college. It was the perfect relationship building time. Time to just sit and listen. As the old saying goes, children really don’t need a lot, they just need you.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

The Importance of Healthy Relationships in Your Child’s Life | Part 3 2015-05-20T12:03:14+00:00

The Importance of Healthy Relationships in Your Child’s Life | Part 2

2015-05-20T12:07:10+00:00

It’s Easier Then You Think

We know that healthy relationships are important but because so many of us have not observed or experienced them we have no idea where to begin. Relationship begins simply with giving time. We need to make sure we are taking time just to listen to and be there for our kids. It is so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of life that we can forget to take time to look our kids in the eye and have a conversation. Or simply sit on the floor with them and play. Taking time to talk around the table at meal times or sitting on the edge of their bed before they fall asleep is something that can be done in every home regardless of schedule. With the world of texting and twitter, we are loosing the art of deep and meaningful communication. We have to teach our children how to connect through relationship. Take the time to pursue your children.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more.

The Importance of Healthy Relationships in Your Child’s Life | Part 2 2015-05-20T12:07:10+00:00

The Importance of Healthy Relationships in Your Child’s Life | Part 1

2015-05-20T11:59:35+00:00

How The Deficit Affects Us All

In our culture today, many children are growing up without the deep relationships that were once so prevalent in our society. To start with most children not only had their nuclear family intact, but their extended family close as well. Women were not in the work force as much and were home with their children. The way days were spent in the past were much different then how they are spent today. There was not the media take over that there is now.  Entertainment meant being with or playing with someone else. In today’s fast paced world we need to make relationship a priority, it doesn’t just “happen” any more. It is so important to make sure we are giving our children tools for growing healthy relationships.  Check back this week for lots more information.

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

The Importance of Healthy Relationships in Your Child’s Life | Part 1 2015-05-20T11:59:35+00:00