Monthly Archives: March 2016

Taking Them From Instant Gratification to Delayed Gratification | Part 4

2016-03-31T21:00:41+00:00

Setting The Example

To the responsible adult delayed gratification may be something that is not processed, but lived out even in small decisions. We don’t eat certain things, buy certain things, or do certain things for the purpose of bettering our future.  Process through some of your decisions, that set the example in delayed gratification, with your children especially as they get older.  Look for opportunities to include them in the process, explain why you choose not to eat out as much for example, or buy a new car as often. You can even include them in long-term projects so they can enjoy the reward of “plugging away” at something until the job is done.  This lesson can even give children the strength to cope with difficult situations in adulthood, for instance a hard season in a future marriage.  The reward is great when you have learned to slowly work on something to fix a problem, rather then simply throwing away and looking for something new.  Learning the lesson of delayed gratification may mean the difference between failure and success for your child.  Look for ways to set the example in your own life.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

Taking Them From Instant Gratification to Delayed Gratification | Part 4 2016-03-31T21:00:41+00:00

Taking Them From Instant Gratification to Delayed Gratification | Part 3

2016-03-30T21:00:37+00:00

Teaching Disciplines They’ll Need As Adults

There are several disciplines that our children will need to know for adulthood and these are all disciplines that involve delayed gratification.  The first is teaching chores. Having a child do chores helps to teach that they are a member of a family unit.  This may mean putting aside what they want to do for a while in order to contribute to the family. Click here for more from the weeklong series on chores. Second is education. Learning how to study is definitely a discipline in delayed gratification. This is imperative for a college student who must learn how to balance the social scene, sometimes a job, and their studies. This leads us to the third discipline, which is time management.  Maturity is learning to balance time well, sometimes choosing to do what I need to do over what I want to do.  Click here for our week long series on time management.  Teaching sexual purity isn’t a discipline that ends with marriage.  In order to stay faithful to a spouse our teens must be trained to handle the delayed gratification of sexual purity.  Click here for more on teaching purity to your children. Finally teaching your child how to handle their finances is a very important lesson in delayed gratification.  Teaching a child how to pass up spending on small items in order to save for a future big item is a great and valuable lesson.  Click here for more on teaching finances.  There are many areas that are critical for success as an adult, take the time to make sure your child is prepared by teaching delayed gratification.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

 

Taking Them From Instant Gratification to Delayed Gratification | Part 3 2016-03-30T21:00:37+00:00

Taking Them From Instant Gratification to Delayed Gratification | Part 2

2016-03-29T21:00:35+00:00

Where To Begin Teaching This

Once the decision has been made that this is an important area to add to the training process, where do we go next? One thing that needs to be looked at is where the child is at developmentally.  For young children this is an especially hard area because of their immaturity and short attention span.  So we must adjust our expectation to realistically train where they are.  For example, it is unrealistic to expect a toddler to sit and build an entire city with blocks. Anyone who has had a toddler knows that the favorite game with blocks is to knock them over.  So a very easy beginning lesson in delayed gratification is having them help build the tower, teaching them to wait until the end to knock it over.  Teaching delayed gratification using play is a great place to start.  We can utilize things like puzzles and games to teach this.  As the child ages we can slowly raise the expectation level, simple things like teaching a child not to interrupt others is a lesson in delayed gratification.  Take the time to look around for age appropriate lessons in delayed gratification. This can simply be utilizing things you do with your child already, just more intentionally.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

Taking Them From Instant Gratification to Delayed Gratification | Part 2 2016-03-29T21:00:35+00:00

Taking Them From Instant Gratification to Delayed Gratification | Part 1

2016-03-28T21:00:13+00:00

Why Is This Important?

The “instant pleasures” of life can have the potential to rob us of the “greater treasures” of life.  Learning delayed gratification helps a person invest now for their future.  It also helps teach how to make better decisions about the here and now, that I will be grateful for later on.  Learning the self-discipline of delayed gratification impacts, a teens ability to stay sexually pure until marriage, learning how to save money for the future, teaches a student to study now to reap the benefits later, and to plan ahead rather than live for the moment.

This is difficult because it doesn’t come naturally to us.  There is nothing in the current culture around us that teaches this discipline. We are a culture of instant gratification.  We don’t want to wait and feel that we shouldn’t have to wait.  Cultures past had consistent lessons in delayed gratification because they had to wait for everything from the growing of the crops for food, to the sun rising for light to begin their day.  Today’s parent has to be intentional to look for lessons in delayed gratification in order to teach this discipline to their children.  Check back the rest of this week as we look at how to teach this.

 

As always listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

Taking Them From Instant Gratification to Delayed Gratification | Part 1 2016-03-28T21:00:13+00:00

What To Do With Easter | Part 5

2016-03-25T21:00:17+00:00

A Story For Easter

There is a beautiful story that you can read to your children Easter morning. It is a story that has to do with the linen cloth placed over Jesus face during his burial.  Here it is.

The Folded Napkin (author anonymous)

The Gospel of John (20:7) tells us that the napkin, which was placed over the face of Jesus, was not just thrown aside like the grave clothes.

The Bible takes an entire verse to tell us that the napkin was neatly folded, and was placed at the head of that stony coffin.

Early Sunday morning, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and found that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance.

She ran and found Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved.. She said, ‘They have taken the Lord’s body out of the tomb, and I don’t know where they have put him!’

Peter and the other disciple ran to the tomb to see. The other disciple out ran Peter and got there first. He stopped and looked in and saw the linen cloth lying there, but he didn’t go in.

Then Simon Peter arrived and went inside. He also noticed the linen wrappings lying there, while the cloth that had covered Jesus’ head was folded up and lying to the side.

Was that important? Absolutely!

Is it really significant? Yes!

In order to understand the significance of the folded napkin, you have to understand a little bit about Hebrew tradition of that day.   The folded napkin had to do with the Master and Servant, and every Jewish boy knew this tradition.

When the servant set the dinner table for the master, he made sure that it was exactly the way the master wanted it.   The table was furnished perfectly, and then the servant would wait, just out of sight, until the master had finished eating, and the servant would not dare touch that table, until the master was finished.

Now if the master were done eating, he would rise from the table, wipe his fingers, his mouth, and clean his beard, and would wad up that napkin and toss it onto the table.    The servant would then know to clear the table. For in those days, the wadded napkin meant,  “I’m finished.”

But if the master got up from the table, and folded his napkin, and laid it beside his plate, the servant would not dare touch the table, because……….

The folded napkin meant,

“I’m coming back”

 

author- unknown

Listen to today’s podcast for more on celebrating Easter as a Family.

What To Do With Easter | Part 5 2016-03-25T21:00:17+00:00

What To Do With Easter | Part 4

2016-03-24T21:00:30+00:00

Visuals for Teaching

Like we mentioned yesterday utilizing the Resurrection Eggs to teach children about the message of the Easter week is a great visual aid. But what about taking some of the symbols of the Easter story a step further to teach.

For example take the Spear in the Easter story. The spear, is an amazing representation of the fulfillment of prophecy. The Old Testament states that not a bone would be broken in Jesus body. This is one example of God keeping his word. There are so many amazing promises in the Bible. We can use the fulfillment of prophecy to help children learn to focus on God’s promises.

A fun activity to do is make a promise coupon. Children can think of something they can do for another family member. A promise they alone can fulfill. I could be something that they promise not to do, a teaching tool, such as I promise not to argue about going to bed. It could also be something nice that they will do for another family member, like helping mom clear the dinner dishes. Writing promises down helps children remember. This can be a fun way to help children learn to do what they have promised, like their Heavenly Father does.

Get creative with other objects to use for visuals for teaching your children. Creating activities with children helps them to understand the magnitude of what God has done!

Listen to today’s podcast for more on celebrating Easter as a family.

What To Do With Easter | Part 4 2016-03-24T21:00:30+00:00

What To Do With Easter | Part 3

2016-03-23T21:00:59+00:00

Explaining Christ’s Sacrifice at Home

It cost our Savior everything for us to have relationship with God, His Father.  We cannot make light of the sacrifice that Jesus made for us.  Crucifixion was such a horrific way to die that some have stated that it is the most inhumane form of carrying out the death penalty of all time.  It is something that cannot be taken lightly.  Make sure that you are taking the time to help your children understand the sacrifice that Jesus made for us on the cross.  You can utilize Resurrection Eggs for your older children to explain the events of Easter week.

The horrible things that Jesus went through before His death may be a difficult thing to explain to small children.  But helping them understand the reality of what He did for us is very important.  One way to help them begin to understand, is by helping them to see what the outcome of his suffering was.  Jesus’ death and resurrection opened the door of communication between God and humanity.  Our sin stands as a barrier, but when Jesus took that sin upon himself and paid our penalty, that barrier was removed.

To help children visualize this lesson, you can explain that God allowed the cords (or whip) of Jesus suffering to be part of the process to open the communication to Him. The activity that can help children to understand that new communication between God and man, is making an old fashion can/cup telephone.  Punch a hole in the bottom of a cup or can and thread the cord through.  Put a can on the other end and pull the cord taunt. You will then be able to hear a voice talking into the other end. You can even write “God” on one cup and “man” on the other.  Use red yarn or string for an even stronger visual to represent that Jesus blood made this communication possible.

Listen to today’s podcast for more on celebrating Easter as a family.

What To Do With Easter | Part 3 2016-03-23T21:00:59+00:00

What To Do With Easter | Part 2

2016-03-22T21:00:57+00:00

Do This in Remembrance of Me

As we begin Easter week, choose to make this a week of different focus for your family.  We will talk about several things that you can do as a family to make this week set apart from the norm.  For many of us who are Christians we get caught up in all the religious activities and don’t allow them to remind us of why we do them.   In the story of Joshua, he has the leaders of the twelve tribes of Israel place twelve large stones together as a monument.  He does this right after they cross the Jordan river.  He tells the people that they are doing this so that when the children ask it will be a reminder of all that God has done for them.  We can utilize these holidays as a monument in our lives.

Many of us today don’t celebrate the season of Lent.  The purpose of the season from Ash Wednesday to Easter, is to set that time apart.  Giving up something for the season reminds us that there is something special about this time.  It is suppose to help our focus be on God.  If you don’t celebrate the season of Lent as a family think about things that you can do this week to set the time apart.  Things that you can use as a family “monument” for what God has done for us.

What To Do With Easter | Part 2 2016-03-22T21:00:57+00:00

What To Do With Easter | Part 1

2016-03-21T21:00:28+00:00

Why It’s The Most Important Holiday

If we are typical American families, Easter is just another holiday about getting.  It revolves around the Easter bunny, egg hunts, new clothes for Easter Sunday and church.  For many families going to church is a religious event that happens only Christmas Eve and Easter Sunday.  Do we need to do anything different than that for our family?  First we need to decide what it really means to us.

If we truly believe what we say we believe then this day we celebrate is what sets Christianity apart from any other religion.  We claim to believe that this day celebrates the day that Jesus defeated death.   Because God is a Holy God , in order for us to be in relationship with Him we must be with out fault.  This is not possible for us, so God requires payment for our wrong doing.  For years this payment was sacrifices made by the priests for the people.  Jesus stepped in to once and for all take the place of animal sacrifice, His death was the ultimate and final payment for our sin.   His death made it possible for us to be in relationship with God.  Good Friday and Easter celebrates the focal point of Christianity.  We are going to talk about how we celebrate this as a family.

What To Do With Easter | Part 1 2016-03-21T21:00:28+00:00

Parenting Middle Schoolers | Part 5

2016-03-18T21:00:06+00:00

The Changing Parenting Dynamic

With the growth of a child toward adulthood, the dynamics of the parent child relationship change as they do with every phase of growth.  The dynamics between a mother and daughter can change and fluctuate.  A daughter may struggle with disrespect because she may start looking at her mother as more of an equal. There can also be a temptation for a mom to see her daughter as a friend and blur the line of adult/child.  Mom’s need to make sure to redirect disrespect and maintain the boundary of parent  to child.  With mothers and sons, it can be a different dynamic as mom may sense her son pulling away, which is natural for his growth into manhood.  Its even stated in Genesis, when it is said, “A man will leave his father and mother…” She may be tempted to smother him as she feels this.  A mom needs to find the line of giving her son space to grow and being affectionate.  The father/son dynamic can be a struggle of who is the “alpha” in the house.   A father needs to come alongside his son and teach him how to be an authority figure by role modeling it.  This is a great season to step back and reevaluate how you handle authority.  Do you react or respond to situations that may arise?  Make sure to practice being calm, while maintaining consistent authority.  Partner with your child as they are going through these changes.

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

Parenting Middle Schoolers | Part 5 2016-03-18T21:00:06+00:00