Privacy vs. Protection | Part 2

Privacy vs. Protection | Part 2

May 31

The Child’s Right To Be Given Boundaries

What is a child’s most important right?  In today’s society, there’s a dumbfounding battle between the child’s right to privacy vs. the child’s right to protection.  One of the things that our children are being taught by their own sub-culture is the attitude that “I have rights that you as a parent cannot touch.”

Many parents are paralyzed over what to do with this type of attitude.  They feel helpless knowing the need to protect their child but feeling they are not “allowed” in some instances. When it comes to bedrooms, cell phones, computers etc. begin with two thoughts.  Whose are they really and who is in charge of protecting the child.  Never have my children reminded me that it was time for them to go to the dentist or time to get a shot.  But I knew they needed it for their own protection.  I went against their “want” in order to meet their “need”.  Begin the process of thinking through boundaries as a protection issue rather than a rights issue.

One way to fight this attitude of personal rights is to begin developing an attitude of gratitude.  Thankfulness is something that is taught, it does not come naturally.  When a child is taught to be consistently thankful for what they are given and how hard their parents work to give it to them, it helps to soften the entitled attitude as they grow up.

First it is an area to be role modeled.  Do the children see thankfulness in you? Thank your children when they are helpful, when they do something out of their way just to be nice.  By consistently saying a simple thank you to your children you are teaching thankfulness. Another way to teach thankfulness is around the dinner table you can play a thankful game.  Every family member needs to think of at least one thing that they are thankful for from that day.  This helps to keep thankfulness on the forefront of everyone’s mind, as well as creating conversation.

Sometimes just very simple solutions can help prevent bigger problems later. Choosing to be thankful for everything we have, combats the attitude of “that’s mine” or “you can’t come in here.”

Listen to today’s podcast for more on privacy vs. protection.

 
Privacy vs. Protection | Part 1

Privacy vs. Protection | Part 1

May 30

Why Are Parents So Afraid Today?

In some areas we over protect our children, then in other areas we tend to under protect them. Especially, when it comes to “their” space and “their” technology. Ask yourself whose room is their bedroom? When a parent says “your bedroom” to the child that’s a statement of location and where you sleep.  It’s not a statement of who owns it.  The same applies for a child’s cellphone and internet/computer usage.

First of all, they don’t have any space … room.  Technically, it’s our room because we are the ones who pay the bill for it every month. And most often, it’s our phone they are using. We need to take ownership of their space and technology because we need to be responsible to protect our children. It’s important for parents to decide that this is not an issue of giving our children privacy, it’s an issue of protecting our children.

Think about it this way, no one in their right mind would allow a stranger off the street to baby-sit for their child.  No one would allow a stranger to knock on the door and say, “I’m here to spend some time with your child … alone.”  Yet many parents are unknowingly doing just that.  When it comes to technology … and it is coming at us faster and faster … your child needs some basic parental leadership. Two basic questions need to be answered for your child: what forms of technology (Facebook, Twitter, texting etc.) are they allowed to use … at what age and what are the boundaries. There are no real boundaries unless a parent chooses to establish the boundaries. If there are no boundaries established then virtually anyone has access to your child without your approval, without your awareness and without even identifying their true identity or intentions.

Technology isn’t bad anymore than water in a pool is bad. But a pool with no rules is incredibly dangerous.  There must be a balance in allowing your child freedom, but it absolutely cannot come at the cost of their protection.  One of parenting’s ultimate ends is to protect children.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on privacy vs. protection.

 

 

The Value of Fun | Part 5

The Value of Fun | Part 5

May 27

Fun Can Be Physical

In our house growing up we tended to take game night to extremes.  It was usually because dad would make things ridiculous to keep us laughing. Some how one night a game of spoons, which is a relatively quiet and calm game, became a game we from then on dubbed “body spoons.” So instead of the spoons being in the middle of the table and each person quietly and secretly taking one when they had gotten the allotted number of cards; the cards were placed across the room.  It ended up being “dog pile the first person to the spoons”.  We would all end up strewn across the floor dying laughing, as dad could be found lying face down faking the need for resuscitation.

The point of this ridiculousness is that children need a physical outlet for family fun.  It doesn’t have to be as extreme as our spoons game.  Maybe it is something as simple as bike rides, walking to a picnic, or throwing a ball together.  Positive physical fun makes for great memories as well as bonding times.  Take the time to plan in a physical outlet for fun into family time!

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

 
The Value of Fun | Part 4

The Value of Fun | Part 4

May 26

Fun Doesn’t Need to Cost Money,But It Does Cost Time

 

Today’s society has such a warped view of what fun is.  For many of us fun is wrapped around getting something new or paying someone/something to entertain us.  Many of us pay to take our children places for them to be entertained.  We need to teach our children what it means to have fun with out spending.  This doesn’t mean sitting your children down and lecturing them how when you were a child you could spend the day entertaining yourself out side with only a stick or a rock.  This means setting the example.  Play with your children, don’t just set them in front of the TV or videogame as a babysitter.

Another thing that we can do is encourage our children to develop their imagination.  Spend time reading to your children or making time for them to read.  Loose your inhibitions and spend time in the back yard pretending to fight the dragon or sailing across the ocean with your young children.  Take the time to kick/throw/ hit a ball with your older children.  Show them that fun doesn’t have to cost anything. There is also something to be said for the value of knowing how to entertain yourself and not have to be entertained.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

 
The Value of Fun | Part 3

The Value of Fun | Part 3

May 25

Family Fun Night

With the explosion of social media there is an overwhelming amount of information on how to have fun and create fun family memories. From blogs, like this one, to pinterest we have no excuse to not have creative family time.  We just have to make the time.

There are two types of fun that need to take place because they serve two different purposes.  The first is spontaneous fun, this is the type of fun that breaks routine.  It can be something like having a themed dinner, picnic on the floor, dinner at the beach or the park on a weeknight, or even as simple as stopping for an ice-cream off the dollar menu to celebrate a Tuesday.

The other type of fun is scheduled fun.  This is setting aside time to have fun together as a family.  A great example of this is a family game night.  Family game night can do a lot more then just fun. It can help to teach a child how to have fun with competition and how to win/loose appropriately.

Make it a habit to have moments of spontaneous and scheduled fun at least once a week.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.