Parenting On Purpose

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Mothering is Harder Than I Thought | Part 5

2019-01-03T13:36:05+00:00

Ways To Get Help As A Mom And As An Individual

One thing that we could all use more of is encouragement.  As moms we really benefit from being around others who are in the same stage of life as we are or even people who have gone ahead of us.  It is so easy for us as moms to get isolated in our daily activities and unless we are intentional we end up feeling so lonely.

There are many ways to find time to be with other moms.   Many churches have ministries solely for moms.  You can even set up a time every week for a park date with other moms who have kids of similar age.  Especially as we head into the summer months with our children home we need to be intentional about making these times out with other moms.

It is also beneficial to be able to have some adult woman time away from the children.  Whether that is a bible study that has child care or your husband is willing to take the children for an evening every once in a while.  Women thrive in community.  We even seem to get energy from being around each other.  This is another thing that is important to make sure and some how fit it into that crazy schedule.  It is worth the effort!

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on the topic of mothering.

 

Mothering is Harder Than I Thought | Part 5 2019-01-03T13:36:05+00:00

Mothering is Harder Than I Thought | Part 4

2019-01-03T13:35:22+00:00

How Is A Mom To Get Help

Many moms today because of the economy are working outside the home.  There are also many moms who are having to work from home to bring in extra income.  The problem is that statistics show that most of the time it is the women who are still coming home from work to do all of the house work and cooking and dealing with the kids.  This is not a slam on men, most don’t know how they can help.  They probably didn’t observe it in their home or are afraid to mess up the system.

There is a way to create a team for the family especially when both parents are working.  That is encouragement!  Don’t be afraid to ask your spouse to do something.  Most men would happily help if they knew what their wife needed help with.  Then we need to encourage when they help. This is another area of struggle for many women.  Many of us are very particular in how we want things done and nitpick if someone else does it.  We need to learn to be grateful and express the gratitude for a job done, not complain how it wasn’t done right.  Make sure you are taking the time to express gratitude for help offered to you!

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on the topic of mothering!

Mothering is Harder Than I Thought | Part 4 2019-01-03T13:35:22+00:00

Mothering is Harder Than I Thought | Part 3

2019-01-03T13:34:29+00:00

Finding You As a Woman and As a Person

Like we said yesterday it is so important to prioritize our schedules in order to find balance.  There is another thing that we need to find time to fit in and that is time for ourselves.  We need to make sure that we do not completely loose our identity and solely become mom.  It is so easy to get caught up in the frenetic chaos of the day to day and realize down the road that you don’t even know who you are anymore.  It is hard to relate to your spouse and your children as they get older if you don’t have a sense of self.  Now this is not to be confused with a sense of selfishness.  There must be a balance to this.  It seems that we live in a time of extremes in this area.  Either we think its all about me and sacrifice what is really best for our children for our wants or we attempt to become so completely selfless that we lose who we are.  Find the balance.  Make sure that you are taking a little bit of time every week as alone time.  Whether that is taking a small amount of time during naps to read or just sit in the tub, or take turns with a friend babysitting children just so you can have some quiet time.  And like we said yesterday make sure that you set aside time daily to spend time in scripture.  Even when it is hard to fit everything in it is still worth the effort!

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic of mothering!

Mothering is Harder Than I Thought | Part 3 2019-01-03T13:34:29+00:00

Mothering is Harder Than I Thought | Part 2

2019-01-03T13:33:38+00:00

Find The Balance In Life

One thing that helps moms find the concept of balance is learning how to prioritize. It seems that we all have this huge checklist of things to get done and if we can’t check them off we feel an inordinate amount of guilt.   So we all need to sit down with our lists and learn to make what is truly important the priority.

First is our relationship with God.  We first and foremost need to be making time to spend with God.  Even if it’s a few moments of reading scripture and some quick prayers, it will help with your focus and attitude through the day.  Part of our problem is most of us feel the pressure to do every thing awesome.  Our expectation is to have these major bible study times and hour long prayer sessions.  With small children this is probably not a feasibility.  I know of moms who spend their shower time as their prayer time because it is uninterrupted.  The point is this is the first priority, our relationship with God.

The second priority is our marriage.  We are first husband and wife, then parents.  Today’s podcast states it like this marriage is the priority and children the ministry of that marriage.  So often we place our marriage on the altar of parenting.  That cannot be, because the health of the family is gauged by the marriage.  Marriage should be the second priority.  Make sure that you are making time for your spouse.  The third priority may seem obvious but it is actually parenting (training) your children.  It is not what our house looks like or how well they are dressed or that they are involved in all the “right” activities. It is actually raising them.  This may mean that you put the dishes down and read to your toddler.  I have to allow myself to do this with out guilt and remind myself that those dishes will still be there to finish up when he goes to bed.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on the topic of mothering!

Mothering is Harder Than I Thought | Part 2 2019-01-03T13:33:38+00:00

Mothering is Harder Than I Thought | Part 1

2019-01-03T13:32:34+00:00

Motherhood Is More Challenging Then I Imagined

This week’s topic hits very close to home for me personally as the mother of a two year old.  We are going to talk about how to deal with the overwhelming day to day responsibilities of being a mom.  I can say that I have seen this from all aspects, from ten years working with the teens parents in residential care to the current stage of being around my friends with young children, every mom has days of feeling overwhelmed at the continuous task at hand.. .raising children!

We are going to spend the week talking about how we cope on those days and how we get to the point of choosing to be fulfilled with the awesome job we have been privileged too.  The first thing that we can do is take a step back and analyze our expectations.  Some one once said to me “there’s no such thing as a perfect parent, just a good enough parent.”  I love this quote and every time I think about this it takes a weight off.  Part of a mom’s stress today is the feeling that we are expected to be able to do everything and do it all perfectly, in perfect balance.  From keeping house, bringing in money, pouring into our kids lives, raising spiritual giants, keeping our kids healthy and well exercised, being involved in school and church functions and have time to work out and maintain the perfect body, to name a few.   We can work ourselves into a frenzy trying to keep up this level of balance and order. Take the time to sift through those expectations and cut yourself some slack.  There is no way to maintain this level all the time, something will get the short end of our attention.  We cannot allow it to be actually raising our children!  As we process today some verses that have helped me recently is Luke 9:46-48.

“An argument started among the disciples as to which of them would be the greatest. Jesus, knowing their thoughts, took a little child and had him stand beside him. Then he said to them, “Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For it is the one who is least among you all who is the greatest.”

It is a reminder from the only perfect parent, there is nothing greater we can do with our time then serve the “least of these.”  When we do this we are serving Him!

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more wisdom on this topic!

Mothering is Harder Than I Thought | Part 1 2019-01-03T13:32:34+00:00

Raising a Grateful Child | Part 4

2018-11-15T09:29:08+00:00

Teaching Gratitude Through the Christmas Season

Choose to continue the momentum that you have built training your children in gratitude through the holiday season.  Christmas can be a difficult time for our children to have a grateful heart.  There are millions of dollars being spent this season on advertising to convince us that we need things that we don’t have.

One way to continue the momentum is by serving others.  Continue to create excitement for your family service project.  Look for other places you can serve others and include your children.  Offer to help an older woman or a woman with small children, load their groceries into their car.  Have your children help you babysit for a couple with small children so they can get out during this busy season.  Have your children help bake cookies to take to the neighbors.  There are many ways to serve others we just have to make that our focus and wait for the opportunity.  You can even make that a game with your children, who can spot an opportunity to serve first.

Another thing we can do as a family is continue our “I am grateful for list”. Every night before bed or at the dinner table, each family member can say one thing that they are thankful for.  Continue your focus on gratitude through out the Christmas season.

 

Raising a Grateful Child | Part 4 2018-11-15T09:29:08+00:00

Raising a Grateful Child – Part 3

2018-11-15T09:28:43+00:00

Using Thanksgiving to Prepare for Christmas

We talked yesterday about cultivating a grateful heart by focusing on serving those around us.  A great Thanksgiving table discussion, even with extended family, is beginning to plan your family Christmas service project.  What a great way to show your thanks to God for all He has given your family.

One idea is, with your children you can pick a family to bless this holiday season.  There are many ways to do this.  You could take little things to the family like homemade cookies and card through the season. Have your children put some of their allowance towards picking out a gift for the children of the family. Or if there is something that the family specifically needs you can all pool your money towards that.

Another idea that was done by a family was to wake up and spend part of Christmas day at a local homeless shelter serving. There are also many in nursing facilities that don’t have visitors and would love cookies and smiles from children.  There are countless ideas for serving those around you this holiday season.  Spend part of the Thanksgiving holiday planning for your family’s Christmas service project.

Raising a Grateful Child – Part 3 2018-11-15T09:28:43+00:00

Raising a Grateful Child – Part 2

2018-11-15T09:28:22+00:00

Raising a Child with a Grateful Heart By Example

We said yesterday that gratitude is either caught or taught.  The first way that we can train our kids to have a grateful heart is by example.  Paul tells us in Philippians 4:11-13, “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”  Is this a verse we can use to define our lives?  Gratitude for what we have be given defines a life of contentment.  When our children observe us in our daily life do they see this about us, or do they see someone who is always striving to have the next thing? It is very easy in this culture to feel the need to one up the people around us with the things we have.

One way to live a life of contentment with what God has provided for us is to serve those around us.  If we are serving wherever there is a need then it allows us to be others focused.  Look for places to serve others.  Make it a family event to give back to those around you.  Giving your children the opportunity to serve and to watch you serve is an invaluable lesson.   Look for that opportunity this holiday week!

 

Raising a Grateful Child – Part 2 2018-11-15T09:28:22+00:00

Raising a Grateful Child – Part 1

2018-11-15T09:27:36+00:00

Getting Ready for a Successful Thanksgiving

Gratitude is not something that is an innate human trait.  Because we are all born selfish, it is something that is both caught and taught.  As God designed it, babies spend all of their time having their needs met.  As children get older they are taught to be more and more self-sufficient.  If we are not spending time training our children to have a grateful heart however, they will keep that selfish attitude.

Thanksgiving gives us a wonderful opportunity for training.  We can utilize the theme of this holiday to start our holiday season off with an attitude of gratitude.  One way to do that is by creating an “I’m thankful for list”.  Starting today put a poster board up in a central location of your house.  It can be a plain poster board or you can enlist the help of your children to decorate it.   Parents can take the initiative and begin every day by writing at least one thing on the list that they are thankful for. Make a game of seeing who can come up with the most things.  Keeping the things that we are thankful for in the forefront of our minds will begin to train us, and our children, to have grateful hearts.

For more ideas on teaching gratitude through fun activities check out,

http://glittermagic.wordpress.com/2010/11/11/10-ways-to-celebrate-gratitude-in-your-happy-home/

 

Raising a Grateful Child – Part 1 2018-11-15T09:27:36+00:00