Raising Boys | Part 3

Raising Boys | Part 3

Aug 09

Over-Mothering Your Boy- Part 2

Yesterday, we discussed how it is easy to fall into the trap of over mothering your son. Like we stated boys have a God given desire to be conquerors or adventures. So how do we allow for that spirit while keeping appropriate expectations. If you think about it, there are some societal expectations that are unrealistic for some boys. Take school, boys having to sit still at a desk for long periods may be hard for them. So when your son gets home make sure he has time to get some energy out. If not there may be some behavior problems around dinner time from pent up energy.

To make sure that you are not hovering over your son make sure to clearly communicate your expectations and the rewards and consequences for behavior ahead of time. Then take a step back and allow him to choose. Utilizing your parenting plan is imperative to avoid the over-mothering trap. For more on creating a parenting plan, click here.

 

For more on this topic listen to today’s podcast.

 
Raising Boys | Part 2

Raising Boys | Part 2

Aug 08

Over-Mothering Your Boy – Part 1

One of the pitfalls to avoid is over mothering. There are many reasons where this may be the case. Culturally, it may be how the parent observed all boys raised. As a single mom it would be easy to over mother the opposite gender in the desire to raise them right. Many parents in a reaction to the culture, are tempted to over parent or become helicopter parents with the goal of protecting the children from the world around them. Clearly, you want to make sure that you are doing everything that you can to keep your child safe but we must find the balance especially as moms to not crush their conqueror and explorer hearts.   We need to be able to find an outlet for them to run, jump and explore. My youngest, for example, is like a bull in a china closet. He wants to jump off everything. Now obviously, as a three year old it isn’t appropriate for me to allow him to jump off the top of a playground. I must find the balance however, of wanting to run around behind him saying ,”oh!”, “be careful!” and “watch out”. I need to give him space as he grows and not hover, keeping a watchful eye of course, but allow him to “conquer” the playground or tree. We want to raise boys who can be conquerors or heroes where God calls them.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

 
Raising Boys | Part 1

Raising Boys | Part 1

Aug 07

The Difference From Raising Girls

On some levels of society we want to shy away from gender stereotyping but then if you look into the world of toys there are few gender neutral toys. Wandering through the toy section at a Target for example you can see the girl’s isles are an explosion of pink, dress up and dolls of all varieties. The boy’s isles are dark colors cars, trains, super heroes or warriors and Nerf guns. This in and of itself would suggest that boys and girls are different in their tastes. I have had the privilege of working in the residential homes at Sheridan House. The girls homes as a behavioral specialist for almost 10 years and then as a house parent in the boys homes. It was amazing to be able to observe the differences in teens of the same age. The girls were driven mostly by relational rewards; and the boys by “at-a-boys” and trophies. The girls wanted to stay up late for the privilege of sitting in my office and talking or painting nails. The boys wanted to stay up late to have the privilege of playing xbox or pool. So if we were to generalize and sum up a difference between the genders, girls are relational creatures while boys are conquerors. In order to create appropriate parenting plans we need to know what makes them tick. This week we are going to unpack what it means to raise boys.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic

 
Family Fun | Part 5

Family Fun | Part 5

Aug 04

Perfection vs. Fun

There is such pressure for performance and perfection in today’s culture, from how we perform at work/school to our appearance.  A great way to defuse this pressure is family fun.  Especially fun at a parent’s expense, this helps model for a child how not to take themselves to seriously.   In our house this was Dad.  Dad made sure that he rigged it so that he lost most of the games we played.  He then would make a huge show of loosing meaning that he would burst into tears or being silly throw a temper tantrum.  There were many creative ways to have us all hysterically laughing.  It seems he took it as a challenge if one of us was in a bad mood to do something ridiculous to make us laugh.  There was even several times that he “fell asleep” at the breakfast table and got oatmeal all over his face.  This was a great lesson for us in how its ok to be silly and to laugh at yourself.

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

 
Family Fun | Part 4

Family Fun | Part 4

Aug 03

The Value of Food Coloring

With the explosion of social media there is an overwhelming amount of information on how to have fun and create fun family memories. From blogs, like this one, to pinterest we have no excuse to not have creative family time.  We just have to make the time.

There are two types of fun that need to take place because they serve two different purposes.  The first is spontaneous fun, this is the type of fun that breaks routine. We gave an example of this unexpected fun with the story of the water balloons earlier this week.  It can even be something like having a themed dinner, picnic on the floor, dinner at the beach or the park on a weeknight, or even as simple as stopping for an ice-cream off the dollar menu to celebrate a Tuesday.

The other type of fun is scheduled fun.  This is setting aside time to have fun together as a family.  A great example of this is a family game night.  Family game night can do a lot more then just fun. It can help to teach a child how to have fun with competition and how to win/loose appropriately.

Make it a habit to have moments of spontaneous and scheduled fun at least once a week.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.