Communication in Your Marriage | Part 3

Communication in Your Marriage | Part 3

Feb 17

The Levels of Communication

There are actually five levels of communication that we use when speaking to others.  The first level of communication is called “cliché conversation”.  This is very surface communication, verbally touching base with someone.  The basic questions like “hi, how are you” and the answers to those questions.

The second and third levels of communication seem to be where we spend most of our time.  The second level is journalistic communication.  This is reporting things or giving facts/information.  Such as my day at work went great, this happened today, ect. The third level is called editorial communication this is giving your opinion on what’s going on.  For example not only talking about the game last night but how you felt the players could have done things differently or sharing your opinion about things that are going on at the office.

The final two levels are vitally important for marriage but many of us are afraid to go there.  Either we are afraid of being hurt, rejected or we simply haven’t observed how to communicate at these levels.  The fourth level is the “risk feelings level” This is when you cautiously test the waters to see if it is a safe place, or even just a safe time, to share feelings.  This is the level where vulnerability begins.   By sharing how you feel or how something effects you then you are beginning to share yourself with someone else.

The final level is called emotional nakedness.  This is the goal for every marriage.  This is where we feel completely safe completely opening up to another person.  It is allowing each other to completely share who we are as people with no fear.  Because of this level of vulnerability we cannot stay in level five communication all the time or we would be exhausted.  For most relationships it takes building through each level even in one sitting to get to this point of vulnerability and ultimately years to practice!

For more insight on this topic listen to today’s podcast.

 

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