Different Behavioral Responses
Some parents just want a behavioral approach that fits everyone in the family. It would definitely be easier if this could be the case. A parent wouldn’t be forced to think or plan, they could just manage and respond to their children as if they were all the same. The problem with a one size fits all parenting style is children are not all the same, we are each uniquely designed by God. Most kids can fit into two types as far as training goes. Some are “pleasers” while others are “barbarians”. Pleasers may appear to be easier to work with because the barbarian is more out front in their push back. However, pleasers may ultimately be harder to train because they may have a harder time making their own decisions and may be more influenced by others. The barbarian will push back and test the rules and the plan, ultimately to see if your “no means no”. We need to make sure that we have a parenting plan that is consistent but know that every child will react differently to that plan. Rewards and consequences will work best if they are tailored to each child individually. For more on creating a parenting plan check out this series.
For more on this topic listen to today’s podcast.