Warning the Child Forces the Child To Think
Spanking should not be viewed as a punishment but as a part of the training process, the beginning of the training process in reality. This is why it cannot be a reactionary thing by the parent. We must begin the training process by giving the child a choice. We are following the ICE plan, Instruct, Consequence and Exercise. Even if it is something that is a routine behavior we must remember that we are dealing with a child who’s memories are forming. Even if they do remember last time, they need to be given the choice so it begins to connect that they have indeed chosen this consequence. The repeat behaviors are things that we as parents can tend to get the most frustrated with and react. So giving the child the instruction and reminding them of the consequence removes the immediate reaction impulse. As the child begins to grow we can even remind them by asking, “Mackenzie, do you remember what happened yesterday when you got out of your bed? That’s right you chose a spanking.” Then we reinstruct, “you are disobeying mommy right now by being out of bed. You need to get back into bed. If mommy has to come back in because you are out of bed then you are choosing a spanking.”
If the goal is training then we have to continually reinstruct the toddler to begin to connect the dots that their behavior is choosing the spanking. If we are reactionary then our emotions are dictating when we spank and we are not consistent. So not only can we harm our child but even our goal of training is not achieved. This is why it is so important that a parent is calm. Remember if you cannot be calm then do not spank!
For more insight on the topic of spanking listen to today’s podcast.