Teaching Forgiveness | Part 5


The Importance Of Receiving Forgiveness

There are many reasons to focus on teaching forgiveness. One of which is learning how to forgive enables your child to have a successful marriage. It helps your child avoid a life filled with bitterness and resentment. As they learn the cost of forgiveness it helps them to understand what it meant for God to forgives them.
1 John 4:7-8 says, “Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” A major component to any love relationship is giving and receiving forgiveness, parent/child, spouses and God to us. Make sure you are including this important training in your parenting.


Teaching Forgiveness | Part 5 2018-06-28T14:17:54+00:00

Teaching Forgiveness | Part 4


When Your Child Is Hurt

This may be one of the most if not the most difficult thing about being a parent, watching your child hurt. Whether it is physically hurt, being sick or emotionally hurting it pains us to see. Many of us would do anything to carry that burden for our child.  So what can we do when our child is hurt? One of the first places we can teach forgiveness is in the home. Siblings are great practice for many areas of life, forgiveness definitely being one. Teaching siblings  the choice of forgiveness can start very early when they inevitably hurt each other.  We start by acknowledging the incident and the pain. Then have one sibling ask for forgiveness and the other give it. This may seem simple but we are instilling this concept early for when the bigger hurts come later on. It needs to be the same process if they are hurt by a peer. Talk through with your child by acknowledging their pain. It is easy to blow off when a teen brings up a social situation but we need to use every situation to practice forgiveness in the heart of our child.  When dealing with a bully we don’t want our child to be a doormat but Christ would not have us teach retaliation either. Click here for our series on dealing with bullies. Spend time listening to your children and allowing them to emote, offering forgiveness seems easier if you have support.


Teaching Forgiveness | Part 4 2018-06-28T14:16:50+00:00

Teaching Forgiveness | Part 3


What Forgiveness Is Not

Forgiveness is not a feeling, much like love. It is a choice, an action or a journey; forgiveness is something we live. Depending on the level of wound, forgiveness may be something that we must choose daily for our lifetime. Jesus reminds us, “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that.” (Matthew 5:43-47)
Forgiveness is not understood by the world around us. The world around us seeks revenge when they are wronged. One of the biggest evidences to those around us of God’s work in our heart is forgiveness. Choose a lifestyle of forgiveness, for the sake of the eyes watching, both big and small.


Teaching Forgiveness | Part 3 2018-06-28T14:15:50+00:00

Teaching Forgiveness | Part 2


Forgiveness Is Not Natural, It’s A Discipline

Forgiveness is a significant part of any relationship, but some areas of forgiveness don’t even seem natural, especially when it’s forgiving someone who has hurt us deeply.  We discussed yesterday how our example, especially in this area, is critical.  What do my children see when they observe my attitudes and actions towards people who have wounded me? There are several quotes that apply here and are good for us to keep in mind.  “Forgiveness is like letting a prisoner go free only to realize the prisoner was me.” And John Elderidge said, “Not forgiving a person for what they have done to you is like drinking poison expecting the other person to get poisoned.”

The Bible gives us a key in working through the process of forgiveness. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” So the idea is when an angry or bitter thought pops into your head you immediately dismiss it and force yourself to think of a positive, better yet to pray for the person.  How we deal with the issue of forgiveness in our own lives is probably how our children will. We must be sure to model it well.

Teaching Forgiveness | Part 2 2018-06-28T14:14:10+00:00

Teaching Forgiveness | Part 1


Why It’s Important To Teach

Forgiveness is not something that is focused on much in today’s society. We want our children to stick up for themselves, to be on top of the “pecking order”. It’s not a very popular idea to turn the other cheek or “love your enemies.” We unfortunately can see the emotional effects of this attitude in the world around us. We live in a world of revenge, anger, bitterness and road rage. Our anger bubbles so close to the surface that someone cuts us off or steps in front of us in the grocery store line and we are ready to “let them have it”.  Unfortunately, this attitude is being observed by our children. Our example is probably one of the most important things in training our children. So our question for today is are we teaching our children to forgiveness even in these small instances so they are prepared for when the big offenses happen?
We are forgiven by God so we can offer forgiveness to others. Scriptures go so far to say that the level of forgiveness we offer is the level we will be given. We must keep Christ as our example. “While we were yet sinners Christ died for us.”  He even took it a step further, while He was on the cross in His agony He beseeched His Father to forgive us. Wow, what a high calling we have to live this out for our children. Choose to teach forgiveness even in the small instances, through your example.


Teaching Forgiveness | Part 1 2018-06-28T14:10:49+00:00

Family Fun | Part 5


Perfection vs. Fun

There is such pressure for performance and perfection in today’s culture, from how we perform at work/school to our appearance.  A great way to defuse this pressure is family fun.  Especially fun at a parent’s expense, this helps model for a child how not to take themselves to seriously.   In our house this was Dad.  Dad made sure that he rigged it so that he lost most of the games we played.  He then would make a huge show of loosing meaning that he would burst into tears or being silly throw a temper tantrum.  There were many creative ways to have us all hysterically laughing.  It seems he took it as a challenge if one of us was in a bad mood to do something ridiculous to make us laugh.  There was even several times that he “fell asleep” at the breakfast table and got oatmeal all over his face.  This was a great lesson for us in how its ok to be silly and to laugh at yourself.


Family Fun | Part 5 2018-06-22T08:27:33+00:00

Family Fun | Part 4


The Value of Food Coloring

With the explosion of social media there is an overwhelming amount of information on how to have fun and create fun family memories. From blogs, like this one, to pinterest we have no excuse to not have creative family time.  We just have to make the time.

There are two types of fun that need to take place because they serve two different purposes.  The first is spontaneous fun, this is the type of fun that breaks routine. We gave an example of this unexpected fun with the story of the water balloons earlier this week.  It can even be something like having a themed dinner, picnic on the floor, dinner at the beach or the park on a weeknight, or even as simple as stopping for an ice-cream off the dollar menu to celebrate a Tuesday.

The other type of fun is scheduled fun.  This is setting aside time to have fun together as a family.  A great example of this is a family game night.  Family game night can do a lot more then just fun. It can help to teach a child how to have fun with competition and how to win/loose appropriately.

Make it a habit to have moments of spontaneous and scheduled fun at least once a week.



Family Fun | Part 4 2018-06-22T08:26:45+00:00

Family Fun | Part 3


It Doesn’t Have to Cost Money

Today’s society has such a warped view of what fun is.  For many of us fun is wrapped around getting something new or paying someone/something to entertain us.  Many of us pay to take our children places for them to be entertained.  We need to teach our children what it means to have fun with out spending.  This doesn’t mean sitting your children down and lecturing them how when you were a child you could spend the day entertaining yourself out side with only a stick or a rock.  This means setting the example.  Play with your children, don’t just set them in front of the TV or videogame as a babysitter.

Another thing that we can do is encourage our children to develop their imagination.  Spend time reading to your children or making time for them to read.  Loose your inhibitions and spend time in the back yard pretending to fight the dragon or sailing across the ocean with your young children.  Take the time to kick/throw/ hit a ball with your older children.  Show them that fun doesn’t have to cost anything. There is also something to be said for the value of knowing how to entertain yourself and not have to be entertained.




Family Fun | Part 3 2018-06-22T08:25:39+00:00

Family Fun | Part 2


It Relieves Stress

We touched on the concept of fun as a stress relieve a little bit yesterday.  It is amazing that fun can be like a mini vacation from life. It is amazing how just a few brief moments of fun can lighten the load of a stressful situation.  It also helps us as parents keep proper perspective on what truly is important.

For example, during a particularly stressful time for the girls in the residential program, meaning they were having a bad week of fighting between each other, the house mom and I decided that we needed to create a “distraction of fun”.  When the house pop left in the van to pick up the girls we spent 30 minutes filling water balloons.  Now was there other things that we could have, and probably should have, been doing with that time? Yes, but we knew that it would help the girls relationally if we could create a distraction.  We were around the corner of the house when the van pulled in and soaked them as they got out.  It is amazing what being pelted with water balloons does to build camaraderie in a group.  We were able to defuse the tension and relational stress with fun.

Try finding time for some silly fun in your house this week.



Family Fun | Part 2 2018-06-22T08:24:27+00:00

Family Fun | Part 1


Why It’s Important To Have

There are so many stressors on every member of the family today, financial, relational, and work/ school related stress to name a few.  The home is suppose to be an environment that will shield us from those stresses.  It is our safe place and shelter from the world around us.  It is also the place to build those lasting childhood memories.  How sad for time to just fly by because of our busy lives and have regrets about the time spent with our children.  We can’t spend our time living only for the weekend or the vacation time. We need to incorporate fun into our day to day.  When children are young get into the habit of making family meals something that you do together.  Take that opportunity around the table to talk but also don’t miss out on the opportunity for laughing and just plain silliness.  It is amazing the stress relief of a really good laugh.  Taking opportunities to look for fun also sets the tone for the atmosphere of your family.  What will your children feel as they think about their childhood? Will it be fond memories of great family times or will it be memories of wishing for something different.

Make sure to not take yourself to seriously and just have fun with your family.



Family Fun | Part 1 2018-06-22T08:23:33+00:00