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Five Ways to Make Parenting More Difficult Than It Already Is | Part 5

2018-07-26T11:17:49+00:00

Don’t Teach Them To Love and Respect God

How are we living out our faith in front of our children? Are we a family who lives out what it means to have a relationship with Jesus or are we merely a family who follows a list of religious do’s and don’ts?  Is this relationship something that permeates all aspects of our family life or is it simply something we do on Sunday? The very core and center of what we do, should be focused on opportunities to teach our child about Christ. For more on this click here to see our week long series on how to raise a disciple.

Always check out the podcast for more insight.

 

Five Ways to Make Parenting More Difficult Than It Already Is | Part 5 2018-07-26T11:17:49+00:00

Five Ways to Make Parenting More Difficult Than It Already Is | Part 4

2018-07-26T11:16:40+00:00

Let The Culture Around You Dictate Your Parenting Plan

There are several areas we can allow the culture to impact how we parent.  The first is keeping a crazy schedule.  It seems like there is a belief that if I keep my children busy they won’t get into trouble.  The problem with that is then training your child gets placed on the back burner.  Another area of cultural influence can be the concept of all work and no play.  With all the busyness and homework in our children’s lives we must make sure to carve out time for family fun.  Our culture also seems to have our children growing up too fast.  We need to remember that our children are still children.  We need to have realistic expectations of what they are capable of but have a plan for when unacceptable childish behavior happens.  Parents have to be sure to work as a team to create the plan for training their children.  We must set aside a time to talk as a team weekly, to make sure that we are on and stay on the same page.  This is just the “tip of the iceberg” of areas we can let culture impact our parenting.  Even if it is counter cultural we must make parenting our children one of our top priorities behind our relationship with God and our spouse.  Take time out to evaluate how you may be allowing culture to influence your parenting.

Five Ways to Make Parenting More Difficult Than It Already Is | Part 4 2018-07-26T11:16:40+00:00

Five Ways to Make Parenting More Difficult Than It Already Is | Part 3

2018-07-26T11:15:40+00:00

Get Your Own Issues In the Way of Your Parenting

Because this is so easy to do, we probably need to constantly monitor to make sure that we aren’t allowing our issues to impact our parenting.  This battle may be greater then ever before.  One of the issues that can impact how we parent, is the temptation to compare our children to others. To feel superior or defeated by how our child “stacks up” to children around them. That is far too much pressure to put on our child. It is also attempting to meet our self worth needs through the performance of our child. Another area where we can be tempted to find our self worth, is how we are performing. While pinterest has been an amazing place to find ideas to help all areas of home life, it can also add a lot of pressure. Pressure to make sure we are organizing like this, cooking like that, creatively crafting with our children and making every holiday an extreme blow out. While all of these things can be good, we cannot allow ourselves to get wrapped up in this and miss the important parts of parenting, such as being there for our kids, listening to their hearts and simply spending time with them. These are just a few small examples of how we can let our own issues get in the way of parenting and make it harder.

 

 

Five Ways to Make Parenting More Difficult Than It Already Is | Part 3 2018-07-26T11:15:40+00:00

Five Ways to Make Parenting More Difficult Than It Already Is | Part 2

2018-07-26T11:14:39+00:00

Don’t Prepare Them To Become Adults

The whole goal of parenting should be to raise Godly children who will become responsible adults. This will make them marriageable and employable.  To do this we should be giving them more and more responsibilities as they age. They can earn more privileges and freedoms as they prove themselves responsible.  Sometimes this means allowing natural consequences to occur.  It is tempting for us to fall into the trap of rescuing our children.  If we keep rescuing our child for something like forgetting their homework, we are actually enabling their irresponsibility.  We also need to hold them accountable, make sure they are doing what they say and following instructions.  Another area we need to be working on with our children is teaching them how to share, give and sacrifice for others.  This is an extremely important lesson to have learned before going into marriage.  Siblings help a parent to train in these lessons.  Make sure you are encouraging and applauding when you see one child sacrificing, no matter how small, for their sibling.  Keep the end goal of parenting at the forefront of your mind and remember that we are raising our children for adulthood.

 

 

Five Ways to Make Parenting More Difficult Than It Already Is | Part 2 2018-07-26T11:14:39+00:00

Five Ways to Make Parenting More Difficult Than It Already Is | Part 1

2018-07-26T11:12:33+00:00

Don’t Teach Them To Respect Authority

Many have said that parenting isn’t for the feint of heart.  Parenting is hard work! Unfortunately, there are things that we can do to make it much more difficult then it has to be.  The first thing that will make life a lot more difficult is to not instill respect for authority in our children.  This can make things much more difficult at home and sets our child up for failure, not only at school but as an adult.  This is such an important issue we spent a week discussing how and why to teach respect to your children.  Click here to see that series.

 

Five Ways to Make Parenting More Difficult Than It Already Is | Part 1 2018-07-26T11:12:33+00:00

Dealing with Bedtime | Part 5

2018-07-19T09:29:51+00:00

Get The Big Picture

We may ask why are we doing this in the first place? Is having a bedtime really that important?  We have given several reasons through the course of this week answering those questions. Everything from making sure your “no means no” to preparing your teen for college life.  There is one more area that children’s bedtime affects and that is the parent’s marriage.  There needs to be time for relationship for mom and dad.  That is why it is important, even in the teen years when they may not have a bedtime, for the parents to have some time together before they go to sleep.  This time can be debriefing the day, a time to reconnect, or simply just some adult time.  Making sure to have this time is one of the ways to communicate to your children, as well as your spouse, that the marriage relationship is a priority.  Make sure to carve out this time as husband and wife, especially if you are in a season of battling bedtime.

 

 

Dealing with Bedtime | Part 5 2018-07-19T09:29:51+00:00

Dealing with Bedtime | Part 4

2018-07-19T09:28:23+00:00

Help Them Manage Their Fears

We mentioned earlier this week that one of the reasons for the bedtime battle especially for young children is fear.  It is our job as parents to acknowledge, help them cope and eventually overcome these fears.  But what does that look like?  It first starts with acknowledging that it is happening.  We need to comfort our young child when they have a bad dream or are afraid of the dark.  To this day I don’t like sleeping with my closet door open.  We can then begin to train them to cope with their fears.  Get to the bottom of what it is. If it is simply the dark then a night light may help.  If it is bad dreams then we can begin to train our children to pray and ask God for comfort and protection. Every child is different in this area so we need to take the time to find out what our child needs.  Parenting doesn’t end at night.  Take the time to comfort your child and help them work through their fears.

 

 

Dealing with Bedtime | Part 4 2018-07-19T09:28:23+00:00

Dealing with Bedtime | Part 3

2018-07-19T09:27:23+00:00

Teens And Bedtime

The goal for parenting is raising a Godly, responsible adult, who is both marriageable and employable.  Part of this is knowing how to be responsible with getting some sleep.  How many college students are not responsible with this part of their lives and their classes suffer? It is very difficult in the dorm to make the right decision and spend some time sleeping, when friends are up talking, gaming or having fun.

Preparing your child for this, starts back in high school.  Parents should have the goal of allowing their child be in charge of their own bedtime before they leave the house, so they can practice.  As a child proves to be more and more responsible with their bedtime and getting up on time, their bedtime can be pushed back.  Gradually over time it can be moved to where there is no set “bedtime”.  Two things with no bedtime need to be discussed.   The teen needs to realize that mom and dad need their own time and are not there to entertain them.  This may mean that they spend time in their room after a certain point. Secondly, parameters need to be placed on internet and phone usage. It is unwise for a child to be allowed internet usage in their room with all the temptations out there, especially when there is not the accountability around.  This is great practice for teens but they can easily be given a bedtime again if they are abusing the privilege or are unable to get up and function in the morning.

Make sure to take the time to train your teen in how to be responsible with their bedtime.

 

 

Dealing with Bedtime | Part 3 2018-07-19T09:27:23+00:00

Dealing with Bedtime | Part 2

2018-07-19T09:26:06+00:00

Get The Child Into A Routine

For those who are in the midst of the bedtime battle, having a daily schedule with a wake up and bedtime is that is consistent will help. This means that a child’s body can get used to going to bed, whether that is naptime or nighttime, at the same time everyday.  A scheduled wake up time helps this process as well. If bedtime has become a battle it may be best to place a priority on being home with enough time to be consistent with bedtime.

Another thing that helps a child get prepared for sleep is a predictable bedtime routine.  This can be established for both nap and nighttime.  A warm bath and teeth brushed, followed by low lights and calming activities help this process.   For example, taking the time to sit with your child to read them a story or Bible story will be much more helpful then a tickle fest or pillow fight.  Make sure to sit with your child after lights out to pray with them.  This also helps them end the bedtime routine in a peaceful and relational way rather then a battle.

Take the time to analyze your schedule or bedtime routine to see if there is anything that is detrimental to your child getting sleepy or fueling the bedtime fight.

 

 

Dealing with Bedtime | Part 2 2018-07-19T09:26:06+00:00

Dealing with Bedtime | Part 1

2018-07-19T09:36:27+00:00

Why Is It So Challenging?

It almost seems that the area of bedtime can be a battle for every stage of parenting, from birth to curfew.  This week we will address those issues, as well as, steps we can take as parents to help the bedtime battle.

The first thing we need to ask is why does this battle take place?  For smaller children the resistance can be rooted in fear.  There may be a legitimate fear of the dark, a fear of the unknown or a fear of being alone.  The last may be especially true if one parent has left.  We need to be sensitive to our children if fear is involved.  Things that seem irrational to adults can be a source of fear in children because of the developmental phase they are in.  For example, fears of being sucked down the drain with the draining water in the bathtub is very real to the over imaginative child.

Bedtime can also be one of the first battles of the will, however.  It becomes not about going to bed or staying in bed, it becomes a battle of control.  This can be one of the first big tests for making your “no mean no.”  It is our job as parents to take the time at bedtime to decipher if there are legitimate fears but be consistent with our “no”.

 

 

Dealing with Bedtime | Part 1 2018-07-19T09:36:27+00:00