Preparing Your Child for Peer Pressure | Part 3
Aug 22
What Part Does A Parent Play in Peer Pressure
First we need to ask ourselves two questions. Do we feel that peer pressure can have a negative impact on our children? Do we feel that peer pressure can have a negative impact on adult? From what we have already discussed the answer should be a resounding yes! If children are not taught how to deal with peer pressure they not only can make decisions as teens that can affect the rest of their lives but they can make decisions as adults that can have just as severe of consequences.
Thankfully most teens when polled will still state that their parents are their number one influence. It is our job to keep it that way. Family cannot become little more then a “layover” before the next activity. As we have discussed countless times management of our schedules is imperative so that family relationships can be maintained and deepened. Family must be the soil of relationship that the child is safe to grow in. It must be a place of unconditional love, non-performance oriented love.
Without these family relationships, or if we become so busy that we neglect these relationships, children will look for a place to find acceptance. That can be peers, social media, online gaming, or boy/girl friends. Ask yourself who you want to be your child’s number one influence?
Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on the topic of peer pressure.
Preparing Your Child for Peer Pressure | Part 2
Aug 21
Factors That Play A Part In Peer Pressure
To understand the factors in peer pressure we also need to see when it begins. Peer pressure actually begins as soon as a child begins interacting and observing other people. It is amazing you can watch toddlers pick up behaviors from other toddlers such as taking a toy away from another child and saying mine, that is under the assumption that they are not observing this behavior in their parents. Parents and other adults also have a huge influence on their children. Small children are constantly observing learning and mimicking their parents and other adults. So in a way this is “pressure” to “conform” to certain behaviors or mimicking because the behaviors are thought to be normal.
What factors affect a teens ability to resist temptation? A strong sense of self is the first. Are they secure in who they are where another’s opinion will not cause them to cave into doing something they know/feel is wrong. The second is a strong sense of family. The support of family can be an amazing factor, a desire to not let other family members down. Also the knowledge that there will be support at home when I make the right decision even if it is unpopular. Thirdly, faith can play a huge role. When a child is grounded in what the Bible says not only as a list of rules but that those rules are there to protect their relationship with God and others it can have a major impact. From this faith will be a knowledge that God has a plan for their life which can give the strength to say no to temptation. (Jeremiah 29:11)
Finally helping your child find a peer group that will share the same beliefs and values will help your child by exerting positive peer pressure.
Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on the topic of peer pressure.
Preparing Your Child for Peer Pressure | Part 1
Aug 20
What Is Peer Pressure?
In its most basic form peer pressure is the push to conform to those in a group in which you belong or want to belong. It can be pressure to change your beliefs, values, behaviors, attitudes or appearance. We find this in all walks of life but it would seem because our children/teens are still searching to define who they are we can see the most extreme forms of peer pressure in the teen culture. The desire to belong or fit in a group has caused some teens to do some unbelievable things, from totally changing their outward appearance to the unthinkable.
Some parents are left scratching their head wondering what happened? The topic this week will help to arm parents in preparing their children to be strong in the face of peer pressure. Not only in resisting temptation but resisting the pressure to do things that may have life long consequences simply to fit in.
Lastly, I would like to leave you with an illustration that I used countless times with the girls in the residential program to show how imperative it is to arm our kids to deal with these pressures. I would have one girl stand on a chair and have another face her and hold her hands. The girl standing up on the chair would be instructed to pull the other girl up onto the chair with her. This would be very difficult if not impossible. However, it would be very easy for the girl in the lower position to pull the first girl off the chair. This is how peer pressure is, unless we are taking the time to prepare our kids. It will be very easy for a group of kids to “pull them down” off their foundation unless we are taking the time make sure our children are rooted strongly.
Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on the topic of peer pressure.
Getting the Best Start to a New School Year | Part 5
Aug 17
Relationship
Perhaps one of the most important of all the things that we can focus on in the school year is relationship. In the craziness of all going on it is an easy thing to get left by the wayside because it takes time and intentionality but teaching our children how to relate to others is a very important area of training that we cannot miss out on.
How do we do teach our children heathy relationship? The first way is to role model. As parents we can be intentional about communicating with our spouse in front of our children. As they get older it is ok to have “talk time” while the children play. They need to observe that our relationship is important and takes constant communication.
The second way is to pursue relationship with your children. This can be best done through one on one time. If you have an errand on a Saturday take one child with to help, alternate children of course. As we have mentioned numerous times you can take time weekly or monthly to “date” your children. It can even be as simple as spending a few minutes each night with your children individually on their bed talking or recapping the day.
The point is relationship is something that we have to put on the calendar or it is easily forgotten once the fall is in full swing. Take time to talk to your spouse and get your “game plan” for how you will make relationship a priority this school year.
Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.
Getting the Best Start to a New School Year | Part 4
Aug 16
Responsibility
One of the best ways to teach our children personal responsibility is by allowing them to have family chores around the house. We have to be prepared as parents for the chore process. It is more involved then simply telling your child what chore they will be doing. First we need to take the time, maybe in a family meeting, to explain why we do chores. (the reason is we are all a member of this team called family and we all work together to get things done, parents and children) Next we need to take the time to explain our expectation for the chores. This may mean taking the time to actually do the chore with your child the first time so they can see what your expectation is. Next we have to monitor and check the chores. Finally we have to process what are the rewards and consequences for chores. The reward may even be as simple as verbal praise but there must be some form of affirmation for a job well done.
Sounds like a lot of work but we as parents need to decide where our focus is, are we training focused, time focused or task focused? Meaning is our focus on the fact that I can get this job done so much faster or so much better or is it on training our children to be responsible? Chores are not about teaching our children life skills, although that is a benefit, the are about teaching your child they are a contributing member of the family. We set our children up for success when we teach them this because they can go through life not only being responsible adults but adults who look for ways to contribute. We are helping to model not the “what can I get” attitude but because I am a part of this what is my responsibility to give?
Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.
