Teaching My Child To Trust

Teaching My Child To Trust | Part 1

2017-10-26T11:41:52+00:00

Trust Is Foundational To All Relationships

What exactly is trust and why is it so important? Webster’s Dictionary defines trust as, “assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or Something. b: one in which confidence is placed. A charge or duty imposed in faith or confidence or as a condition of some relationship (2): something committed or entrusted to one to be used or cared for in the interest of another.” In other words, trust is the glue that holds a relationship together, as well as, the oxygen that nurtures a relationship to grow stronger. Trust and faith are often interchangeable words. Trust is mandatory for ones faith in Christ to grow and be sustained. Trust is foundational to relationships. If I can’t trust a person I can’t develop a deep relationship with them. There must be trust in order for there to be intimacy. We need to be able to count on, to trust, our loved ones and friends. The three most important relationships are built on, dependent upon, trust. A relationship with God or my faith. My relationship with my spouse and my relationship with my child.
A family cannot function properly without the key element of trust.

 

Teaching My Child To Trust | Part 1 2017-10-26T11:41:52+00:00

Teaching My Child To Trust | Part 2

2017-10-26T11:41:42+00:00

When Trust Has Been Broken

Trust is so violated today. We live in a culture that believes “You can’t trust anyone.”Worst of all however, children in this culture see far too many divorces. One of the unfortunate repercussions is, if a child grows up learning that “I can’t trust my parents to stay in the relationship,” my “Truster” may get damaged. Initially every child has an intact truster. Children trust the people around them, until they learn other wise. A huge burden of responsibility falls on parents with this issue because children also trust the consistent love of their parents, until they learn otherwise. If a child grows up in an environment where trust has been continually violated the child could have difficulty forming deep relationships in the future. That child, when an adult, will have to redevelop his or her “truster.”

One of the reasons it’s difficult to trust today is because trust seems to be in all around short supply. Unfortunately, the media doesn’t report about great marriages, it tends to report about failed marriages where trust has been violated. We have been raised believing we can’t trust our leaders and maybe as a result of this pressure, many of our leaders have fallen short.
Our children desperately need to be able to trust and then transfer that “action” over to their relationship with Christ.

 

Teaching My Child To Trust | Part 2 2017-10-26T11:41:42+00:00

Teaching My Child To Trust | Part 3

2017-10-26T11:41:32+00:00

Where To Begin

The parent/child relationship plays a big part, if not the most crucial part in the development of the concept of trust in a child. Parents must build the trust of their children. One of the best ways to do that is unconditional love. The way a parent handles the behavior of the child proves or disproves unconditional love. A child asks themselves, “Can I count on the love of my mom regardless of my behavior? Can I trust the first person I have an intimate relationship with to tell the truth? Can they be trusted to keep their promises? Can they be trusted not to turn on me? Can I trust them to protect me? To love me regardless of performance?” Now, because there is no such thing as a perfect parent, we will fail at times in these areas. It is what we do with these failures that also communicates that we can be trusted. We also need of know how to say I’m sorry.

Remember, trust is a “muscle” that an infant seems to come out of the womb with. It must be developed but it is easily damaged. We must take the time as parents to step back and evaluate how our actions are affecting our child’s “truster.” Are we building it up or tearing it down.

Teaching My Child To Trust | Part 3 2017-10-26T11:41:32+00:00

Teaching My Child To Trust | Part 4

2017-10-26T11:41:18+00:00

The Value of Being Worthy of Trust

One of the things that we need to communicate to our children is that, “It’s very important that I be able to trust you” This means always telling the truth. One thing that is very difficult for a parent to deal with is lying. Unfortunately, this is another negative behavior that is very prevalent in today’s society.  It is also something that for parents of young children it is easy to brush off.  However, it is one of the worst forms of negative behaviors and must be dealt with.  A child who develops a habit of lying cannot be trusted and this can affect all future relationships, as well as employment.

For many children it is a natural response to fear of being caught and if they are dealt with early on then the pattern can be broken before it becomes a habitual response.  Dealing with lying will take more time because there will need to be an additional and often more severe consequence for lying then simply dealing with the negative behavior. For example, a child who forgets their homework and then lies about it to the teacher will need an additional and more severe consequence for the action of lying.  The lying was a bigger offense then simply forgetting the homework. If a child struggles with lying a parent must take the time to praise when they tell the truth. Telling the truth is a scary thing to do when faced with a consequence. Something like, “I’m sorry that you forgot your homework today, that means that you will have to do it immediately when you get home from school instead of watching the show that you wanted to. I am so proud that you told me the truth, I am sure that was very hard. Because you we’re honest about it, you may have a snack at the table while you are finishing it up.” That way the child still chose a consequence but the fact that they told the truth was praised.

Make sure to take note when your child does the hard thing and tells the truth in the face of a consequence, because that is what a trustworthy person looks like.

 

Teaching My Child To Trust | Part 4 2017-10-26T11:41:18+00:00

Teaching My Child To Trust | Part 5

2017-10-26T11:44:13+00:00

The Only One They Can Totally Trust Is God

This is one of the major truths to instill in our children’s heart. Even the most trustworthy of people can fail them but there is One who will never fail them. The Bible is full of stories of people who kept a hold of their trust in God even though the direst of circumstances. David, Job, Joseph, Daniel and Mary to name just a few. Make sure to keep these stories ever present in your children’s hearts and minds even when they struggle. Psalms and Proverbs are full of promises for those who trust in God, as well as some of David’s beautiful declarations of trust during difficult times. Here is just a small sampling.

Proverbs 3:5 & 6 – Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Psalm 9:10 – Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Psalm 28:7 – The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.

Psalm 32:10 – Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord’s unfailing love surrounds the one who trusts in him.

Psalm 143:8 – Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.

Take the time to read scripture together as a family. Look for these passages and stories about people’s faith and trust in God.

Teaching My Child To Trust | Part 5 2017-10-26T11:44:13+00:00