anger

My Child Seems So Angry | Part 5

2011-02-04T21:52:54+00:00

It’s Never Too Late

There are some children who because of temperament or strong will seem to deal with anger issues more.  If you step back as a parent and feel as though all of your children are “barbarians” or strong willed, it may be a flawed system.  A lack of boundaries or structure can cause anger in children.  Children seem to have radar for inconsistency and know when their parents are not being consistent.  If there is not a plan in place then it is easy for us to shoot from the hip with consequences and be inconsistent.  This means that the consequence may be different each time, or with each child, for the same offence.  This can cause anger issues.

If we think about it, we seem to get angry at the police officer who pulls us over, as if he has done something wrong.  But the system, although these men and women deserve our respect for daily putting their lives on the line, is flawed.  There is no way a police officer can pull us over every time we go a mile over the speed limit, there is just not that much man power.  So it creates anger because of the inconsistency.  We place the blame on the officer, who is merely doing their job, instead of on the person who is really at fault, ourselves.  It is the same in parenting if our plan is inconsistent.  But the good news is it is never too late.  If you are seeing warning signs of this in your home take some time even this weekend to evaluate your plan.  See if there need to be changes made to make it more consistent!

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on anger in children.

My Child Seems So Angry | Part 5 2011-02-04T21:52:54+00:00

My Child Seems So Angry | Part 4

2011-02-03T21:58:12+00:00

The Long-Term Implications Of My Child’s Anger

It often seems easier for parents to look the other way during certain behaviors a child displays.  Parents that do this may believe that over time this behavior will just disappear or correct itself.  Unfortunately most times this is not the case.  The Bible does not tell us, to wait through behaviors, it says to “Train up a child.” Training requires action.

Anger issues are something that we as parents need to jump on because they do have serious long term implications.  Unfortunately, if a parent does not help their child learn impulse control then a first boss or spouse may have to.  Learning how to deal with anger and not bottle it or allow it to develop into rage is something that will help our child be marriageable and employable.

Take the time to work through the temper tantrums or train your older child how to talk through their emotions.  Learning impulse and self- control has far reaching implications and is well worth the training time.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on anger in children.

My Child Seems So Angry | Part 4 2011-02-03T21:58:12+00:00

My Child Seems So Angry | Part 3

2011-02-02T21:24:11+00:00

Training Kids To Talk So They Don’t Explode

It is interesting to watch a toddler, who is just learning to talk, get frustrated.  It is almost like they have forgotten their newly found skill.  Often times a parent that calmly and gently reminds their emoting child to, “use your words”, will avoid a temper tantrum.  For toddlers simply verbally expressing their need or frustration may help to defuse them.  This is actually the same for all of us.

Learning to properly vent emotions is something that we need to train our children how to do.  This is where we need to watch for their “signal behavior”, anger may come out differently for each child, often personality and age play a part.  Some are prone to outbursts while others clam up and get sullen.  After you have learned what your child’s signal behavior is pursue a time to talk.  For some children simply sitting by their bed will work, others may need a more neutral environment and some children even need a distraction to do with their hands in order to open up.   This is where we must become a student of our children learning how they best communicate.  Learning how to verbalize anger and frustration in a mature way is something that is key for a successful marriage.  That is why priority should be placed on teaching our children to communicate at this level.   The upside is that it will eventually save our kids and us a lot of frustration!

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on anger in children.

My Child Seems So Angry | Part 3 2011-02-02T21:24:11+00:00

My Child Seems So Angry | Part 2

2011-02-01T21:23:27+00:00

Why Deal with Temper Tantrums?

There are many emotions that a parent can go through in the few minutes their child is having a temper tantrum, fear, helplessness, embarrassment, frustration, exhaustion, even anger.  It is so important that the first thing we do, no matter what the age of our child, is gain control of our emotions.  Temper tantrums need to be dealt with in a calm controlled manner in order to help our children process through the emotional outburst.

We need to bear in mind that tantrums are signal behavior.  We need to deal with the outward manifestation of the emotion because this is obviously not appropriate behavior for an adult in a work environment.  With a toddler a temper tantrum may simply be they are not getting their way and are struggling to handle the disappointment and frustration.  For an older child or teen, an outburst, over-reaction, or slamming around is usually a sign that something deeper is going on.  This is a good time to get them out of the environment, maybe go for a walk, to discuss what is really going on that would make them react that way.  Like we talked about yesterday it may be a result of a change in the house or simply something bad that happened at school.  Part of what we need to instill in our children before they leave our home is impulse control.  The Bible reminds us in Ephesians 4:26, “In your anger, do not sin.”  This is such an important lesson to train our children. We will all feel the emotion of anger it’s what we do with it that counts.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on anger in children.

My Child Seems So Angry | Part 2 2011-02-01T21:23:27+00:00

My Child Seems So Angry | Part 1

2011-01-31T22:13:46+00:00

Why is my child angry?

There are many reasons for anger in children.  When your child is consistently expressing anger you may need to take a step back and evaluate.  Are there things that you can do to help?

What are some of the reasons for anger?  Some children just have strong temperaments, who from birth express not getting their way with anger.  Some children express anger at a lack of parenting plan.  Children flourish in an environment of structure and lack of it can cause anger in children.  For some changes in the family dynamic can cause anger.  For example, maybe mom has had to go back to work because of today’s economy or dad may have to be working longer hours.  Maybe it is simply that the family has been too busy as of late or your child is dealing with a difficult solution at school.  Take some time to evaluate if your child’s anger may be coming from a situation like this that may simply take some extra parenting TLC.  We will be spending the rest of this week discussing children’s anger and what to do with it.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on anger in children.

My Child Seems So Angry | Part 1 2011-01-31T22:13:46+00:00