difficult

Five Ways to Make Parenting More Difficult Than It Already Is | Part 5

2014-04-28T09:15:57-04:00

Don’t Teach Them To Love and Respect God

How are we living out our faith in front of our children? Are we a family who lives out what it means to have a relationship with Jesus or are we merely a family who follows a list of religious do’s and don’ts?  Is this relationship something that permeates all aspects of our family life or is it simply something we do on Sunday? The very core and center of what we do, should be focused on opportunities to teach our child about Christ. For more on this click here to see our week long series on how to raise a disciple.

Always check out the podcast for more insight.

Five Ways to Make Parenting More Difficult Than It Already Is | Part 52014-04-28T09:15:57-04:00

Five Ways to Make Parenting More Difficult Than It Already Is | Part 4

2014-04-24T13:51:28-04:00

Let The Culture Around You Dictate Your Parenting Plan

There are several areas we can allow the culture to impact how we parent.  The first is keeping a crazy schedule.  It seems like there is a belief that if I keep my children busy they won’t get into trouble.  The problem with that is then training your child gets placed on the back burner.  Another area of cultural influence can be the concept of all work and no play.  With all the busyness and homework in our children’s lives we must make sure to carve out time for family fun.  Our culture also seems to have our children growing up too fast.  We need to remember that our children are still children.  We need to have realistic expectations of what they are capable of but have a plan for when unacceptable childish behavior happens.  Parents have to be sure to work as a team to create the plan for training their children.  We must set aside a time to talk as a team weekly, to make sure that we are on and stay on the same page.  This is just the “tip of the iceberg” of areas we can let culture impact our parenting.  Even if it is counter cultural we must make parenting our children one of our top priorities behind our relationship with God and our spouse.  Take time out to evaluate how you may be allowing culture to influence your parenting.

For more, listen to today’s podcast.

Five Ways to Make Parenting More Difficult Than It Already Is | Part 42014-04-24T13:51:28-04:00

Five Ways to Make Parenting More Difficult Than It Already Is | Part 2

2014-04-22T19:28:04-04:00

Don’t Prepare Them To Become Adults

The whole goal of parenting should be to raise Godly children who will become responsible adults. This will make them marriageable and employable.  To do this we should be giving them more and more responsibilities as they age. They can earn more privileges and freedoms as they prove themselves responsible.  Sometimes this means allowing natural consequences to occur.  It is tempting for us to fall into the trap of rescuing our children.  If we keep rescuing our child for something like forgetting their homework, we are actually enabling their irresponsibility.  We also need to hold them accountable, make sure they are doing what they say and following instructions.  Another area we need to be working on with our children is teaching them how to share, give and sacrifice for others.  This is an extremely important lesson to have learned before going into marriage.  Siblings help a parent to train in these lessons.  Make sure you are encouraging and applauding when you see one child sacrificing, no matter how small, for their sibling.  Keep the end goal of parenting at the forefront of your mind and remember that we are raising our children for adulthood.

Listen to today’s podcast for more.

Five Ways to Make Parenting More Difficult Than It Already Is | Part 22014-04-22T19:28:04-04:00

Five Ways to Make Parenting More Difficult Than It Already Is | Part 1

2014-04-21T15:29:28-04:00

Don’t Teach Them To Respect Authority

Many have said that parenting isn’t for the feint of heart.  Parenting is hard work! Unfortunately, there are things that we can do to make it much more difficult then it has to be.  The first thing that will make life a lot more difficult is to not instill respect for authority in our children.  This can make things much more difficult at home and sets our child up for failure, not only at school but as an adult.  This is such an important issue we spent a week discussing how and why to teach respect to your children.  Click here to see that series.

For more, listen to today’s podcast.

Five Ways to Make Parenting More Difficult Than It Already Is | Part 12014-04-21T15:29:28-04:00

When My Child is Difficult to Like | Part 5

2014-03-11T09:53:05-04:00

It’s About Love- Not Like

Love is an action word. It is not an emotion, it is something we do or something we live out.  Every phase can have things not to like if we choose to focus on them.  Babyhood is the constant need or sleep deprivation.  Toddlers are always pushing back against the rules.  Early teens are struggling with self-image or are moody.  Later teens feel as though they know it all.  Thankfully we can role model what Christ did for us.  He loved us when we were unlovable, ungrateful, and in sin.  Thankfully we also have a guide for how to love in 1 Corinthians 13. “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

This is a great verse for us to have up in front of us especially on the hard days.  Remember parenting is about communicating and modeling God’s love to our children, not about like.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

When My Child is Difficult to Like | Part 52014-03-11T09:53:05-04:00

When My Child is Difficult to Like | Part 4

2014-03-11T09:52:18-04:00

When Parenting Gets In The Way Of My Schedule

If there is one thing that gets interrupted in a parent’s life it is their schedule.  From the first day a baby comes home, life will never be as the parents once knew it.  After the newborn phase we can even attempt to keep our children in a schedule but there will be changes to it as life happens, such as a child getting sick.  If we are Type A personalities it may be more difficult for us when something rocks the neat little schedule we have going.  The Type B personality may find it difficult that their child does need routine.  Parents can’t just pick up and go where they want anymore. As children get older the family schedule may be more focused on the kids’ activities, such as sports or youth group events, etc.

One way to fight feeling resentful is to make sure that you are first and foremost taking time with God.  Secondly, that the spouses are getting their quality time together. Make sure there are date nights on the schedule.  During a difficult season, make sure that there are also fun times with the family.  It is amazing what a little fun family activity can do to relieve stress but also help to put perspective where it needs to be.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

When My Child is Difficult to Like | Part 42014-03-11T09:52:18-04:00

When My Child is Difficult to Like | Part 3

2014-03-11T09:51:32-04:00

The Middle School Years

There are seasons during parenting that are more difficult then others, some find the toddler years extremely difficult, others dread the teen years.  Many find those middle school years extremely unlikable.  I for one am one of the unusual people who happen to love those tween/early teen years.  Maybe my heart goes out to them because of my personal middle school struggles.  Middle schoolers tend to be particularly moody probably due to all the hormonal changes as well as social challenges facing them.  I have literally had parents tell me that they felt like their son had a brain transplant at thirteen, he simply wasn’t their child anymore.  The case was more that he wasn’t A child anymore and was trying to navigate for himself what that meant.  We may need to give our child an extra dose of grace, not meaning lightening up on our parenting plan but more our reactions to them, during these tough middle school years.  Remember, the child who you are struggling to like is probably the one who needs you most relationally at that moment.  Take some extra time with your middle schooler.  Sit on their bed, debrief their day and help them to navigate this confusing time in their lives.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

When My Child is Difficult to Like | Part 32014-03-11T09:51:32-04:00

When My Child is Difficult to Like | Part 2

2014-03-11T09:50:42-04:00

Why Does This Happen?

The first thing we can do when having these emotions is look at why this can happen. Consider that you can very easily be overwhelmed with parenthood in general.  It is very easy to go into parenthood with unrealistic expectations of what it demands.  Parents get overwhelmed with the constant needs of a child.  So the dislike may be more of what parenting demands of us.  It is a hard adjustment to have to cease to be self focused and to continually be others focused. This is further training that God allows in our lives.

Secondly, we may have a personality conflict with our child.  We can struggle because we don’t understand where our child is coming from.  The other possibility is that we have very similar personalities to our child, which can rub us the wrong way.  Either way it is easier to grace our child if we can look into the why.  We have to keep in mind that parenting is a ministry.  We are called to give to, serve and train our children for the cause of Christ.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic

When My Child is Difficult to Like | Part 22014-03-11T09:50:42-04:00

When My Child is Difficult to Like | Part 1

2014-03-11T09:47:40-04:00

What If I Don’t Like My Child?

“There are days where I don’t like my child…there I said it out loud. What does this mean and what do I do with it?”  Having this realization can be very guilt inducing for a parent. The first thing to remember that it’s not about like it’s about love.  You like someone because there is a commonality between you.  Other then genetics there isn’t a lot of commonality between a parent and child so there may be difficult moments, which we struggle to admit, that we don’t like our children.  Parenting well is a lot of work, rewarding work for sure, but a lot of work nonetheless.  There are days, and nights, where it can be exhausting and little things try our patience.  This week we are going to look into this topic deeper and discover what to do with these emotions.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

 

When My Child is Difficult to Like | Part 12014-03-11T09:47:40-04:00