middleschool

Parenting Middle Schoolers | Part 5

2016-03-14T13:04:48+00:00

The Changing Parenting Dynamic

With the growth of a child toward adulthood, the dynamics of the parent child relationship change as they do with every phase of growth.  The dynamics between a mother and daughter can change and fluctuate.  A daughter may struggle with disrespect because she may start looking at her mother as more of an equal. There can also be a temptation for a mom to see her daughter as a friend and blur the line of adult/child.  Mom’s need to make sure to redirect disrespect and maintain the boundary of parent  to child.  With mothers and sons, it can be a different dynamic as mom may sense her son pulling away, which is natural for his growth into manhood.  Its even stated in Genesis, when it is said, “A man will leave his father and mother…” She may be tempted to smother him as she feels this.  A mom needs to find the line of giving her son space to grow and being affectionate.  The father/son dynamic can be a struggle of who is the “alpha” in the house.   A father needs to come alongside his son and teach him how to be an authority figure by role modeling it.  This is a great season to step back and reevaluate how you handle authority.  Do you react or respond to situations that may arise?  Make sure to practice being calm, while maintaining consistent authority.  Partner with your child as they are going through these changes.

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

Parenting Middle Schoolers | Part 5 2016-03-14T13:04:48+00:00

Parenting Middle Schoolers | Part 5

2016-03-18T21:00:06+00:00

The Changing Parenting Dynamic

With the growth of a child toward adulthood, the dynamics of the parent child relationship change as they do with every phase of growth.  The dynamics between a mother and daughter can change and fluctuate.  A daughter may struggle with disrespect because she may start looking at her mother as more of an equal. There can also be a temptation for a mom to see her daughter as a friend and blur the line of adult/child.  Mom’s need to make sure to redirect disrespect and maintain the boundary of parent  to child.  With mothers and sons, it can be a different dynamic as mom may sense her son pulling away, which is natural for his growth into manhood.  Its even stated in Genesis, when it is said, “A man will leave his father and mother…” She may be tempted to smother him as she feels this.  A mom needs to find the line of giving her son space to grow and being affectionate.  The father/son dynamic can be a struggle of who is the “alpha” in the house.   A father needs to come alongside his son and teach him how to be an authority figure by role modeling it.  This is a great season to step back and reevaluate how you handle authority.  Do you react or respond to situations that may arise?  Make sure to practice being calm, while maintaining consistent authority.  Partner with your child as they are going through these changes.

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

Parenting Middle Schoolers | Part 5 2016-03-18T21:00:06+00:00

Parenting Middle Schoolers| Part 4

2016-03-17T21:00:10+00:00

The Changing Expectations

As they are trying to figure out this phase and who they are, middle schoolers can jump back and forth from acting very childish to acting like an adult.  It is very important that we as parents maintain consistency during this period of constant fluctuation.  Just like there is push back during the “two year old phase”, we need to expect that during this phase as well. We need to have a set of clear boundaries for our middle schooler, a set of rules that don’t change regardless of their mood.  We can also begin to allow for a little bit more freedom where our child can practice trust.  We need to have a plan set in place for when they don’t deal well with the freedom.  For example, maybe the freedom you allow your middle schooler is a cell phone.  There are boundaries place around that new freedom, such as not allowing the phone in their bedroom at night.  Be prepared with an already set up consequence if the phone ends up in the bedroom and follow through with checking to make sure the phone is where it needs to be.  Look at these years as the practice years for high school where even bigger amounts of trust will be given. As in any kind of practice they won’t do it perfectly, be prepared with consequences for those times, but on the flip side be prepared to cheer when they succeed.

For more on this topic listen to today’s podcast.

Parenting Middle Schoolers| Part 4 2016-03-17T21:00:10+00:00

Parenting Middle Schoolers| Part 4

2016-03-14T13:01:44+00:00

The Changing Expectations

As they are trying to figure out this phase and who they are, middle schoolers can jump back and forth from acting very childish to acting like an adult.  It is very important that we as parents maintain consistency during this period of constant fluctuation.  Just like there is push back during the “two year old phase”, we need to expect that during this phase as well. We need to have a set of clear boundaries for our middle schooler, a set of rules that don’t change regardless of their mood.  We can also begin to allow for a little bit more freedom where our child can practice trust.  We need to have a plan set in place for when they don’t deal well with the freedom.  For example, maybe the freedom you allow your middle schooler is a cell phone.  There are boundaries place around that new freedom, such as not allowing the phone in their bedroom at night.  Be prepared with an already set up consequence if the phone ends up in the bedroom and follow through with checking to make sure the phone is where it needs to be.  Look at these years as the practice years for high school where even bigger amounts of trust will be given. As in any kind of practice they won’t do it perfectly, be prepared with consequences for those times, but on the flip side be prepared to cheer when they succeed.

For more on this topic listen to today’s podcast.

Parenting Middle Schoolers| Part 4 2016-03-14T13:01:44+00:00

Parenting Middle Schoolers | Part 3

2016-03-16T21:00:15+00:00

The Changing Culture

Because of all the body changes going on for middle schoolers, this causes a major cultural change for them as well.  Like we said yesterday, middle school is just that stuck in the middle, not children but not quite adults.  Because this can cause insecurities for this age group, they are especially susceptible to peer pressure.  They just want to fit somewhere.  There are a few things we can do as parents to help our children with this.  First, take the time to make sure you are giving your middle schooler some one on one attention.  A good rule of thumb is, whichever child is most difficult at the moment is usually the child that needs a little extra positive attention.  This is a great time to begin to “date” your child if it hasn’t happened already.  The second thing that we can do is become a student of our child.  What are their likes and dislikes.  We also need to become a student of their culture.  This way we can be aware of the influences surrounding our children.  This also helps us to know if something is actually inappropriate or is just not our preference.  It is very important to take the time to do this especially in these critical middle school years when they are so susceptible to influences around them.

 

For more on this topic listen to today’s podcast.

Parenting Middle Schoolers | Part 3 2016-03-16T21:00:15+00:00

Parenting Middle Schoolers | Part 3

2016-03-14T12:58:41+00:00

The Changing Culture

Because of all the body changes going on for middle schoolers, this causes a major cultural change for them as well.  Like we said yesterday, middle school is just that stuck in the middle, not children but not quite adults.  Because this can cause insecurities for this age group, they are especially susceptible to peer pressure.  They just want to fit somewhere.  There are a few things we can do as parents to help our children with this.  First, take the time to make sure you are giving your middle schooler some one on one attention.  A good rule of thumb is, whichever child is most difficult at the moment is usually the child that needs a little extra positive attention.  This is a great time to begin to “date” your child if it hasn’t happened already.  The second thing that we can do is become a student of our child.  What are their likes and dislikes.  We also need to become a student of their culture.  This way we can be aware of the influences surrounding our children.  This also helps us to know if something is actually inappropriate or is just not our preference.  It is very important to take the time to do this especially in these critical middle school years when they are so susceptible to influences around them.

 

For more on this topic listen to today’s podcast.

Parenting Middle Schoolers | Part 3 2016-03-14T12:58:41+00:00

Parenting Middle Schoolers | Part 2

2016-03-15T21:00:50+00:00

The Changing Body

The middle school years remind me of that stage in puppyhood where they are all long, gangly and their feet have grown too big for their body.  Their body’s are getting ready for adulthood which can bring with it all kinds different challenges for this age.  Some kids are early bloomers, some are late, some hit their full adult height at this age others don’t grow until later teen years, every child grows so differently.  This can create difficult social issues for them as well as cause major self-esteem issues during this age.  They also have major hormone fluctuations as their bodies are going through these changes, which cause them to be more moody, and have more out bursts.  While, as parents we cannot allow inappropriate behavior it may help us to not take it personally if we know a possible cause behind these behaviors.  They are struggling to find their place, not quite being adults but not children either.  Make sure to give your middle schooler lots of TLC as they are going through this phase.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this.

Parenting Middle Schoolers | Part 2 2016-03-15T21:00:50+00:00

Parenting Middle Schoolers | Part 2

2016-03-14T12:55:51+00:00

The Changing Body

The middle school years remind me of that stage in puppyhood where they are all long, gangly and their feet have grown too big for their body.  Their body’s are getting ready for adulthood which can bring with it all kinds different challenges for this age.  Some kids are early bloomers, some are late, some hit their full adult height at this age others don’t grow until later teen years, every child grows so differently.  This can create difficult social issues for them as well as cause major self-esteem issues during this age.  They also have major hormone fluctuations as their bodies are going through these changes, which cause them to be more moody, and have more out bursts.  While, as parents we cannot allow inappropriate behavior it may help us to not take it personally if we know a possible cause behind these behaviors.  They are struggling to find their place, not quite being adults but not children either.  Make sure to give your middle schooler lots of TLC as they are going through this phase.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this.

Parenting Middle Schoolers | Part 2 2016-03-14T12:55:51+00:00

Parenting Middle Schoolers| Part 1

2016-03-14T21:00:19+00:00

The Changing Problems

Why does it seem that my perfectly normal child has turned into something else? They don’t want to talk anymore, don’t come to me with problems and they are moody all the time.  Chances are if you catch yourself saying these things you probably have a middle schooler in your home.  But is this normal, you may ask. If middle school could be summed up in one word it would probably be change. These years for a child can be very overwhelming as all things around them begin to change, including their body.  Because of all these changes your middle schooler may be testing their boundaries again, pushing back and attempting to stretch their wings.  While it’s never too late to implement a parenting plan, the older the child gets it may be more challenging.  These middle school years are great time to reevaluate your parenting plan or to make sure you have one established. Click here for more information on creating one.  This way you can make sure that you are responding rather then reacting to the middle school years, when it is easy to take things personally.

For more on this listen to today’s podcast and be sure to check back as we spend the week discussing the middle school years.

Parenting Middle Schoolers| Part 1 2016-03-14T21:00:19+00:00

Parenting Middle Schoolers| Part 1

2016-03-14T12:52:09+00:00

The Changing Problems

Why does it seem that my perfectly normal child has turned into something else? They don’t want to talk anymore, don’t come to me with problems and they are moody all the time.  Chances are if you catch yourself saying these things you probably have a middle schooler in your home.  But is this normal, you may ask. If middle school could be summed up in one word it would probably be change. These years for a child can be very overwhelming as all things around them begin to change, including their body.  Because of all these changes your middle schooler may be testing their boundaries again, pushing back and attempting to stretch their wings.  While it’s never too late to implement a parenting plan, the older the child gets it may be more challenging.  These middle school years are great time to reevaluate your parenting plan or to make sure you have one established. Click here for more information on creating one.  This way you can make sure that you are responding rather then reacting to the middle school years, when it is easy to take things personally.

For more on this listen to today’s podcast and be sure to check back as we spend the week discussing the middle school years.

Parenting Middle Schoolers| Part 1 2016-03-14T12:52:09+00:00