Mom as the Role-Model For Being Godly
The Bible tells us in Romans to “not be conformed to the pattern of this world…” But what does that mean? Especially for girls today who are inundated with the culture around them, they need to see what it means to be Godly. There are several ways that a mom can “not conform”. First is the current “idol” of materialism and money. Where is our focus as moms, is it keeping up with those around us or is it “learning to be content” as Paul teaches?
Moms for the most part exemplify sacrifice. We are the ones who constantly must put ourselves on the back burner for the needs of our children. It is our attitude about it however that sets us apart. Are we grumbling or acting the martyr or are we considering everything “pure joy”, even the sleepless nights or behavior battles?
Again there are so many more ways to communicate and exemplify for your daughter what it means to be a Godly woman. Take the time to look up Proverbs 31 to see what the wisest man in the world considered to be Godly, as well as Galatians 5:22-25 for what Godly attributes we should have.
And as always listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.
Mom As The Role-Model For Wife
We have said countless times that children learn most often by observation. One of the awesome privileges that mom has is to role-model for her daughter what it means to be a godly wife. There are many ways she can do this. First the Bible calls the wife to respect her husband. One of the ways we do this is by our words. What do our children hear us say about our spouse? How do we respond to our spouse in front of our children? This is one of the ways we can role-model respect making sure that the things we say edify and build him up.
Secondly, we can role-model healthy communication. Even though we may not always agree we are able to work things out. Our children should be able to observe our healthy interactions day to day.
There are so many more ways that a mom can role- model what it means to be a godly wife. Listen to today’s podcast for more.
Mom Shouldn’t Relive Childhood/Teen Years Through Daughter
Many times in the residential program I observed moms who didn’t set up boundaries between themselves and their children, their daughters in particular. In other words there was no adult/child line. You couldn’t tell by behavior and dress who was the adult and who was the child. This obviously created major problems.
There may be many motivations behind this kind of relationship. The first is that mom maybe trying to relive her youth through her daughter, by the way she dresses and acts. The second reason may be that mom wants her daughter to be her friend so she hasn’t set up boundaries. It is hard to treat a daughter as a friend and then all of a sudden turn the tables on her and try to be her authority figure when she has disobeyed. This is very confusing for a child/teen and can cause rebellion. The other thing that can happen with this friend type relationship is the mom can treat her child as a confidant. This again is not a healthy relationship because a child should not have to carry their parent’s secrets or burdens. A mother needs to work hard to set up the parent/child boundaries so that later she can enjoy her adult daughter’s friendship.
For more on this topic listen to today’s podcast.
Mom As The Gender Role-Model
The number one role-model for how a girl feels about her gender is mom. If mom is not taking the time to role-model what it means to be a woman them her daughter will attempt to find these answers in the culture around her. This can be very confusing. There are so many extreme definitions of what it means to be a woman everything from using your body to get attention to ignoring your femininity all together.
Mom must help her daughter find the balance of all that culture is throwing her way. She must help her daughter to understand that true beauty is found on the inside. Mom herself also needs to role-model self respect and modesty so her daughter can observe it. Moms have the awesome privilege of helping their daughters embrace and celebrate their gender. Take the time to enjoy it!
Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.
The Unique Dynamic in the Relationship
So many moms dream of the day where they will have a baby girl, and for many the dreams don’t stop there. They think that their daughter will be their buddy to do things with as they grow. And while sometimes this is true, why is it that for so many this is such a rocky relationship, especially in the teen years?
Mothers and daughters have a unique relationship and when it is working its awesome, but when it is not it can be explosive as I have observed many times with our residential girls and their moms.
Many times it is simply a communication issue. Girls and Moms don’t know how to talk to each other. Again, I have observed many times girls and moms talking AT each other and not TO. Mothers need to train their daughter how to communicate. Click here for our two week long series on this topic. It starts with listening. Moms need to start taking the time to listen to their daughters. Often tines mom, if she will take the time, is the only one who is able to see through her daughters emoting to what the true issue is. Check back this week as we look more deeply into the topic of mothers and daughters.
Listen to today’s podcast for more insight.