self-control

Preparing My Children for the Temptations in Life with Adam Roberts | Part 5

2014-09-05T19:37:36+00:00

Giving Them The Privilege of Inner Tension

When we utilize the plan we set in place we give them the option of choosing whether to follow the rules, or to not follow the rules and choose the consequence. We are creating in them an inner conflict, which is a great learning tool. Do I follow my wants/ or do I follow what I am supposed to do? This is a lesson that is invaluable through the adult life. Learning how to say no to self, because it is the right thing, helps in all areas. Earlier this week we linked back to the series called The Power of No; another series that will help you in training your child to deal with temptation is a series on impulse control. Click here for that series.

Another area of training that creates that inner conflict is teaching delayed gratification.  Training them that not giving in to the immediate, but the best that comes later is a great lesson in how to appropriately deal with temptation. Click here for a series on delayed gratification.  Using money is a great way to teach delayed gratification, Click here  for the week long series about teaching your children about finances.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more.

Preparing My Children for the Temptations in Life with Adam Roberts | Part 5 2014-09-05T19:37:36+00:00

Preparing My Children for the Temptations in Life with Adam Roberts | Part 4

2014-09-04T19:34:07+00:00

It Starts With The Little Things

In order to train our children in anything we must start a plan. Teaching our child to deal with temptation is no different. When we start with a plan for the little behaviors or little temptations we are training them to deal with the bigger temptations in the future. For more on setting up a parenting plan click here for our week-long series.

We also, using Joseph as an great example, need to teach our children why it’s important to turn away from temptation. We must begin to instill in them that God has a plan for their life. It is worth doing the right thing, which may not be the easy thing, to be able to find God’s best for their lives. For more on helping our children develop a relationship with God click here.

 

As always listen to today’s podcast for more

Preparing My Children for the Temptations in Life with Adam Roberts | Part 4 2014-09-04T19:34:07+00:00

Preparing My Children for the Temptations in Life with Adam Roberts | Part 3

2014-09-03T12:51:45+00:00

The Power of Choice

We talked yesterday that training in responsibility helps their future in two ways. First it helps them to become responsible adults. Second, teaching responsibility trains a child that there are times when you have to put your desires or wants aside to do the right or responsible thing. This is teaching them how to deal with temptation on a smaller scale.

Another area that we can help is making our “no” mean “no”. When we do this we help them to know that there are some things that are not permissible. This is one thing that helps them to develop a moral compass. For a small child when a “no” always means “no”. It teaches them that there are things that are absolute. You will never be allowed to ….. because it’s not safe. This development helps for the future when they are faced with a choice. I will not allow myself to….

For more on The Power of No check out our week long series.

 

As always listen to today’s podcast for more.

Preparing My Children for the Temptations in Life with Adam Roberts | Part 3 2014-09-03T12:51:45+00:00

Preparing My Children for the Temptations in Life with Adam Roberts | Part 2

2014-09-02T12:37:38+00:00

Why This Important For Their Future

Every thing that we spend time training our children needs to start with the question “why”. Why is this worth training? When we answer this question we can prioritize our training. Teaching them how to deal with temptation from even an early age will help them when they face temptation that could have life altering outcomes. If we think about it, much of the training that we do deals with temptation. When we are training our child to be responsible we are teaching them to say “no” to temptation. Doing their homework rather then giving in to the temptation to watch TV. Following the instruction of a parent rather then giving in to the temptation of ignoring and continuing to play. Choosing to get out of bed on their own after being woken up one time rather then giving in to the temptation of rolling over and going back to sleep.

All of these small areas of responsibility will help prepare them for the bigger areas of the teen years. Decisions like giving in to the temptation to stay at a party when things are heading in a bad direction or making the choice to leave. Making the choice to get physically involved with a boyfriend or girlfriend or wait for God’s perfect plan. As teens begin to spread their wings they will be faced with bigger temptations. This is why we need to focus on this training from the early years!

 

For more on this topic listen to today’s podcast.

Preparing My Children for the Temptations in Life with Adam Roberts | Part 2 2014-09-02T12:37:38+00:00

Preparing My Children for the Temptations in Life with Adam Roberts | Part 1

2014-09-02T11:57:09+00:00

The Need For This Training

If you have lived on this earth that God has given us for any amount of time, you know that we all face temptation. It was something that even Jesus faced. We will face small temptations, like skipping exercise or hitting the snooze, probably daily. We will all face big temptations at one point or another in our lives as well. Unfortunately, we have probably also all felt pained by giving into temptations ourselves or felt the affects of another who has fallen into sin.

Good men and women fall because they are not prepared to face temptation. And far too often, adults who have so much to offer fall into sin. 1Peter 5:8 reminds us, “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

Temptation training begins at home, the earlier the better. As parents, we must choose to understand that one of the most profound gifts we can give our children is this “temptation training.” One of the heroes of faith we will be looking at this week is Joseph. Take the time to read his story in Genesis 37, and the rest of the story in chapters 39-47.

 

For more on temptation training listen to today’s podcast.

Preparing My Children for the Temptations in Life with Adam Roberts | Part 1 2014-09-02T11:57:09+00:00

Teaching Impulse Control | Part 5

2018-09-19T10:21:52+00:00

Where Do We Go From Here

Begin by looking at your parenting style.  Ask yourself are you running around to meet their every need or deadline and rescuing them?  Or are you training your children to get control over their own needs and deadlines.

Teaching our children the skill of time management or money management is a invaluable life skill.  If we are rescuing our child at the last minute doing their science project for them, yes they may get the better grade today but what have we instilled for the future.  Not the lesson of impulse control.  Training in impulse control would have been helping them set up a time table for doing their project then making sure to help guide them when they are distracted by the computer, the Xbox or the TV.

Another type of parenting style doesn’t struggle with rescuing their kids they struggle with the rewards.  They expect their child to get up from the TV to go and do homework so it is hard for them to go crazy with praise when a child follows through with the responsible choice.  We have to remember that our children are not mini adults and we are in a training process.  This means that we allow them to make the choice, guide them don’t rescue, and go crazy as their cheerleaders when they do the right thing!

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on impulse control.

 

Teaching Impulse Control | Part 5 2018-09-19T10:21:52+00:00

Teaching Impulse Control | Part 4

2018-09-19T10:23:08+00:00

Allowing the Child to Practice Impulse Control

When training a puppy to do a trick you have to practice and practice, when they get it right you reward them with a treat.  It is basic behavior modification.  My husband is great at training dogs.  He worked hard with our dog training him to do many different things.   I had seen a friends dog do this amazing trick so one day I decided that I wanted to train our dog to balance a treat on his nose until I commanded that he could have it.  This was the first trick that I had attempted to train our dog to do and I was very excited to accomplish this and surprise my husband.  I had grandiose ideas that my wonder dog would be able to accomplish this after one try.  This of course did not happen it took many, many practices and rewards for patience.  But I can now with confidence say that my dog will sit with a treat on his nose and wait to eat it, albeit drooling, until I say “ok”.

So if an animal can be trained to that level to control their impulses, we definitely can say no in the face of temptation or desire.  The key is practice.  Allow your child to practice impulse control.   Teaching your child to get out of bed in the morning, not to talk back, slam things or stomp around is mostly about learning discipline.  Learning how to handle your impulses when you don’t get your way is important for the future, so that you can handle yourself appropriately at work if a co-worker doesn’t do something the way you like it.  Getting out of bed teaches the discipline of forcing yourself out of a situation, even though it may be more comfortable, if its not the right thing.  Simple day to day choices help our children to exercise impulse control. Just don’t forget to reward them with praise when they make the right choices.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on teaching impulse control.

 

Teaching Impulse Control | Part 4 2018-09-19T10:23:08+00:00

Teaching Impulse Control | Part 3

2018-09-19T10:23:02+00:00

The Example We Set Is Very Important

Our example of how we handle impulse control in our own lives is key to training our children in this area.  It cannot be do as a say but not as I do.  Children are very good at noticing if our words and actions are not matching up.

In order to do a heart check on ourselves, we must ask “who is ultimately in charge of me?”  Is God truly in charge of my life? Or am I in charge? Or have I handed off the remote control of my life to the people around me, advertisers, media, my appetites, my urges or someone of the opposite sex?

The story of Joseph is a great reminder for us in Genesis 39 about how to control our impulses in the face of temptation.  Take time to reread that story and process how it can be applied to something that you may be facing right now.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on teaching your children impulse control.

 

 

Teaching Impulse Control | Part 3 2018-09-19T10:23:02+00:00

Teaching Impulse Control | Part 2

2018-09-19T10:21:20+00:00

Where and When a Parent Begins

It begins now.  Any stage that a child is in can be training for impulse control.  Its no secret that a baby has the world revolve around them. Parents need to be constantly meeting that child’s needs because they are helpless and can’t care for themselves.   As soon as that infant cries a parent is trying to figure out what the need is and meet it, whether it is a diaper change, hunger, or simply the desire to be held.  As the child grows however we obviously teach them how to do things for themselves, as well as how to wait for things.  The two year old sometimes communicates that they want things “NOW” by throwing a tempter tantrum.  This is the beginning of the impulse control training.  We begin this training by not giving into the tantrum.  When we hold our ground we not only teach our child that the behavior is not acceptable, we are also teaching a lesson in self-control.

Teaching older children money management through using allowance and saving, is a great lesson in impulse control.  Helping children learn time management is another great tool for teaching this lesson.  Through every stage we can find tools and areas to help us teach our children the invaluable lesson of impulse control.

 

For more insight on this topic listen to today’s podcast.

 

 

Teaching Impulse Control | Part 2 2018-09-19T10:21:20+00:00

Teaching Impulse Control | Part 1

2018-09-19T10:21:36+00:00

Why It’s So Important?

Today’s society has become conditioned for “instant life”.  We don’t wait for things to be made we go buy them.  We (usually) don’t make things from scratch, most of us don’t even know how, we microwave.  We don’t process things; we react.  This means that many of our children are missing out on the very important lesson of impulse control.

Why is teaching our children impulse control important?  Wars have been started, marriages ended, and lives ruined because of irrational reactions to things or failure to control impulses.  We need to train our children when they feel an impulse to do something or temptation stares them in the face they need to do a few things.

First they need to take a step back and analyze the situation.  Many times just taking a breath and processing will allow a child or adult to resist temptation. The second thing that needs to be done in the processing is weighing the consequences or ramifications of the action.  Learn to ask yourself, “if I do this what will happen?”

The most important thing that we can begin to train our children to do is to seek God about situations.  If we are always teaching our children to pray before taking action they are less likely to be impulsive.

Training a child to have impulse control can be one of the most important things that we teach them.  It has ramifications over many aspects of their lives from finances to marriage, and even employment.  Join us this week as we continue to discuss training your children in impulse control.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on impulse control.

 

Teaching Impulse Control | Part 1 2018-09-19T10:21:36+00:00