sex

Putting Sexual Purity In Your Parenting Curriculum | Part 5

2011-03-04T16:44:31+00:00

Going Through the Sexual Purity Training Process

One question that many teens will ask their parents is, “how far is too far”.  We can first turn that question around and have them ask themselves “how much can I save”. If purity starts in the mind and Jesus reminds us, in Matthew 5 that it is not just about a physical act it is about having a pure heart and mind.

Working with the teens in the residential program we spent a lot of time discussing sexual purity.  One of the exercises that we did was have them write a letter to their future spouse.  We would have them express their desire from that moment forward to commit to purity for that future relationship.  Teens often live in the here and now and have a hard time wrapping their minds around the fact that their will be a future.  Having them do things like creating a future spouse list and writing their future spouse a letter helps to keep the reasons for purity in perspective.

Having said that communicating to your children that our bodies are made for sex is vitally important as is helping them in setting up parameters for dates.

Listen to today’s topic for more insight on this topic

Putting Sexual Purity In Your Parenting Curriculum | Part 5 2011-03-04T16:44:31+00:00

Putting Sexual Purity In Your Parenting Curriculum | Part 4

2011-03-04T08:41:26+00:00

Three Components to the Training Process

Now that we have taught our children about sexuality, we need to begin the training process.  There are three key elements to the training.  The first is we need to spend time not only teaching our children on the mechanics of sexuality but the reasons for sexual purity.  God set up a plan for marriage and in that plan tells us to keep sex within the boundary of marriage.

The second two parts to training involve action and practice.  Lest you get nervous, these to actions are about discipline.   We must help our children discipline themselves to say “no” to things.  When we utilize the ICE plan we are helping them learn to make the right choice on their own.  (more on this in the “Power of No” series) They are learning that there are consequences both positive and negative for their actions and they are in charge of their choices, not mom and dad.  This also comes into play when they are older and alone with the opposite sex.  We have empowered them to say “no” even when we are not there.

The final thing for training is our example.  Are our children seeing us able to say “no”?  Are there times where we turn off the TV or movie because it is inappropriate? Do they see us saying “no” to something that we want because we can’t afford it right now?  Our example in the small things can help to shape the decisions our children make in the big things.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on talking to your children about sex.

Putting Sexual Purity In Your Parenting Curriculum | Part 4 2011-03-04T08:41:26+00:00

Putting Sexual Purity In Your Parenting Curriculum | Part 3

2011-03-02T23:26:10+00:00

How and When to Start Teaching About Sexuality

We decided that very early on teaching our children their anatomy is where we begin to teach about sexuality.  We can take it a step further by teaching about biology.  Beginning to, delicately but matter of fact-ly, teach this to younger children is a good way to continue the training.  A great starting point is allowing circumstances or questions to lead the way.  When children want to know where babies come, use this question as a spring board.

There are many great books on the topic online or at your Christian bookstore.  Utilizing tools like books for younger children are a great help to parents.  They make these early conversations easier because they help us to answer questions but not make things confusing.  One great book we used in our house growing up was called, “The Wonderful Way Babies Are Made,” by Larry Christenson.  But there are many wonderful resources out their today.  Be sure to pick out and read through these resources before your children are ready to discuss so that you aren’t caught off guard when they begin to ask questions!

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on talking to your children about sex.

Putting Sexual Purity In Your Parenting Curriculum | Part 3 2011-03-02T23:26:10+00:00

Putting Sexual Purity In Your Parenting Curriculum | Part 2

2011-03-01T15:43:28+00:00

The Parents Responsibility to Talk About Sex

Yesterday we established that it is our responsibility to keep sex an open topic in our homes in order for our children to have a healthy attitude about sexuality.  Consistent conversations about sex and how we respond to questions, meaning no cold sweats or gasps or looks of terror, allows us to be the ones that our children feel comfortable coming to with their questions.

The question we may ask is when do these conversations begin, middle school? Elementary school? They in fact need to begin much earlier, in the early toddler years.  We actually begin educating our children about their sexuality when we are teaching them the names for their body parts.  By using the correct names for body parts we are beginning to open the door for discussion and possibly begin to ease our feelings of awkwardness.  We don’t use made up words for our knee, elbow or ears so the names for other body parts should be correct as well.

So for those that are through this early stage of child training breathe a big sigh of relief knowing that you have already started the sex education of your children!

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on talking to your children about sex.

Putting Sexual Purity In Your Parenting Curriculum | Part 2 2011-03-01T15:43:28+00:00

Putting Sexual Purity In Your Parenting Curriculum | Part 1

2011-02-28T15:16:21+00:00

Sex and Our Kids

Two of the biggest conflict areas in marriage are sex and finances.  It is probably not a coincidence that these are two of the hardest areas to talk to your children about.  So it would stand to reason that if parents focused on training in these areas then it may help to lower future marital conflict for their children.

With the way the media and culture has made sex a constant topic, today’s children are being bombarded with information on sex.  Unfortunately it is not the correct information.  The media would have us believe that casual sex is not only normal but sex outside the boundaries of marriage has no consequences.  And although seemingly better then previous generations, some of today’s parents still feel immobilized at the thought of discussing sex with their children.  The discussion(s) about sex is vitally important for our children’s future and because of this it needs to be an open and consistent topic in our homes.  We will spend this week discussing the how, when and whys of training your children in this area.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight in teaching your kids about sex.

Putting Sexual Purity In Your Parenting Curriculum | Part 1 2011-02-28T15:16:21+00:00