Dealing with Holiday Stress to Your Marriage | Part 5

Dealing with Holiday Stress to Your Marriage | Part 5

Dec 02

The Ex Factor

Perhaps one of the most difficult of holiday stressors fall on the shoulders of single parents and blending families. That is the ex factor. For many single parent and blending family homes, holidays will have to be split up between families. This can bring many different stressors, loneliness, guilt and feelings of competition. We must go into dealing with this scenario with a plan. We cannot allow the holiday season to be used to “get back at” or hurt the other parent. We also cannot allow a spirit of competitiveness to creep in. We must remember that this is one way for us to keep our focus on Jesus this season. It could even be looked at as a birthday present to Jesus, in how attitudes are handled. Jesus would always serve those around Him and this difficult scenario can be used to exemplify this to children.

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

 
Dealing with Holiday Stress to Your Marriage | Part 4

Dealing with Holiday Stress to Your Marriage | Part 4

Dec 01

Handling Traditions

We mentioned yesterday that in the coming weeks we will spend an entire series discussing different holiday traditions. But today we are going to deal with them in the light of what we have been discussing this week, holidays and marital stress.  Traditions are important to have for children as they create lasting memories.  They also have the ability to teach the true meaning of the season.  The problem is that no two families have the same traditions.  So this is where spouses must sit down to discuss what are important traditions from each of their growing up years and how they will be merged.  It is important to have some fun and silly traditions as well as some that teach.  If spouses don’t take the time to process through what traditions their family will have during holiday time it can create stress due to unmet expectations.  Make sure to include a discussion about how your family will incorporate and create family traditions into your holiday staff meeting.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

 
Dealing with Holiday Stress to Your Marriage | Part 3

Dealing with Holiday Stress to Your Marriage | Part 3

Nov 30

It All Starts With A Marital Staff Meeting

Like so many things in marriage if we want to have a plan for the holidays to avoid unnecessary stress, it all starts with a staff meeting.  A scheduled time where the two spouses can sit to discuss the expectations, plan and purpose behind the holiday season.  The easiest place to start is the purpose.  What is the purpose behind the holiday? While creating traditions and memories for our children are important they are not the purpose for the season.  Neither is meeting my or my spouse’s needs or expectations.  The purpose of the whole season is to celebrate the fact that God intervened in our lives so drastically that He sent His Son as a baby.  This whole season should be pointing to the gift that God gave to us 2,000 years ago. In the coming weeks we will discuss how to have family traditions that help children understand the meaning of Christmas.  An annual staff meeting to remind us of the purpose will help us to not feel the pressures and the stresses of this season.  Make sure to put one on your calendar!

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

 
Dealing with Holiday Stress to Your Marriage | Part 2

Dealing with Holiday Stress to Your Marriage | Part 2

Nov 29

The In-law Factor

There are many things that can contribute to stress with in-laws even if you have a great relationship.  The first is growing up in different homes spouses each have a set of traditions that were set up by in-laws. This sets up expectations for how the holidays should go.  I remember the first time I went to visit my husbands family for Christmas.  Even though they have a fantastic set of traditions that were very fun, they were so different from mine growing up I remember thinking at the end of festivities “hmm it doesn’t really feel like Christmas.”

Another thing that can add to the stress is in-laws expectations.  Where will the family spend the holidays and how will they be divided up?  We need to process who is in charge of this holiday, parents, my competitive nature or my subliminal desire to escape into the season? Not only that but what is the purpose of the celebration? The next few days we will be looking at how we effective prepare for these stressors.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

 
Dealing with Holiday Stress to Your Marriage | Part 1

Dealing with Holiday Stress to Your Marriage | Part 1

Nov 28

 Why The Holidays Are So Stressful

Ah, the holidays! It’s ironic that a time that is supposed to bring such warmth and joy can create such disappointment, tension and stress within a marriage.  We are going to spend this week breaking down why this is and what we can do to prevent this from happening in our own lives.

The first thing that can cause this stress is our expectations.  Is our focus what we expect to get, even if it is an experience, rather then what we can give others? The second area that can cause stress is In-laws. Thirdly, finances can bring major stress especially during this time of the year.  Fourthly, if we are not careful competition to have and give the best can create stress. Lastly there is the pressure of a crazy schedule during the holidays, with parties, church events ect. crowding our calendar.  Each of these areas can cause stress in normal times of the year but can heap immense stress as they seem to all be compounded over the holidays.

Check back as we cover some of these topics in more detail, as well as how to be proactive to guard against these stressors.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic