My Spouse Is Hard To Talk To
Communication is one of those areas in marriage where, even if there are seasons of difficulty, we must choose never to give up. We must make the choice that we are ultimately not doing this for our spouse or our self, but for God. During the difficult seasons we need to choose to give each other grace. Maybe our spouse is going through a difficult time at work or just feeling discouraged. We need to take that into consideration in our communication times and not allow ourselves to take it personally. Because we are working on our marriage ultimately for God’s glory we need to grace our spouse and keep pursuing them.
There are several types of communication “dodgers”. The first can be equated with a porcupine. If a difficult issue is brought up they become all quills and derail the conversation with spines. This is where we need to not allow ourselves to take it personally and either push on gently or continue the conversation at another time.
The second type of conversation dodger is the shellfish. They become a clam when an issue is brought up. These people can be married to a talker who can then overtake the conversation. Usually the people who are shellfish are afraid to open up. If the shellfish is your spouse, you need to slowly bring them out or warm them up by asking questions they will answer and then bring up the topic. After that just sit and wait. Choose not to overtake the conversation but wait to hear their opinion.
The last type of dodger is the prairie dog. These are people who hear topic and through out a red herring to get you off topic. They change a topic so they don’t have to deal with the issue at hand. With this type of person, just don’t allow yourself to be derailed and continue to gently steer them back on course.
More information on the topic of communication can be found in the book “We Need To Talk.”
Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.