The ICE Plan
In order to be consistent with a plan we need to create one. A very simple plan for discipline is called the ICE plan. This stands for Instruct, Consequence and Exercise. What this means is the parent gives the child an instruction for their behavior. Such as, “clean your room”. Next the consequence for that behavior needs to be established and the child needs to be informed of that consequence. “I need you to have your room cleaned before we go to your friends house. If it is not cleaned up by 4, that will mean that you will be choosing not to go.” Finally, we need to step back and allow them to exercise their choice. This allows us to be removed from the consequence. Because the child had already been instructed all the parent has to do is follow thru. If consequences are thought up ahead of time that should help to eliminate the yelling. The child can then begin to make the connection that it is their behavior, not the parent, that is causing the consequences.
For more on this plan listen to today’s podcast.