expectations

Choose To Love Like God Loves

Ephesians 5 does a great job telling us how we need to love each other. It tells us to love like God loves. God loves us, not because we are lovable, but because it is His nature. How does He love us? He loves us unconditionally, not expecting to get anything back, and He loves sacrificially. He has no expectation that we will be able to do anything to earn His love.
This is a high calling that God has called us to! We need to learn to love our spouses unconditionally. We love a baby unconditionally, there is nothing a baby can do to earn a parents love. We expect nothing back from them. We simply love them because they are ours. That is how we need to love our spouse. If we have the wrong focus of expectation we miss everything.
What we should have expectations of is our own behavior. We must have expectations of how we need to respond to our spouse and how we need to love our spouse. Love unconditionally, without expectation and sacrificially giving all of yourself just as Christ did.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on expectations in marriage

Podcast: Download

Choose To Love Like God Loves

Ephesians 5 does a great job telling us how we need to love each other. It tells us to love like God loves. God loves us, not because we are lovable, but because it is His nature. How does He love us? He loves us unconditionally, not expecting to get anything back, and He loves sacrificially. He has no expectation that we will be able to do anything to earn His love.
This is a high calling that God has called us to! We need to learn to love our spouses unconditionally. We love a baby unconditionally, there is nothing a baby can do to earn a parents love. We expect nothing back from them. We simply love them because they are ours. That is how we need to love our spouse. If we have the wrong focus of expectation we miss everything.
What we should have expectations of is our own behavior. We must have expectations of how we need to respond to our spouse and how we need to love our spouse. Love unconditionally, without expectation and sacrificially giving all of yourself just as Christ did.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on expectations in marriage

Podcast: Download

What Do I Do With My Expectations?

Everyone needs to take a moment to evaluate their own marital expectations. We need to ask ourselves a few questions. What do I expect of my spouse? Are these expectations fair? How am I imposing these expectations on him/her? One way to find this out is to ask your spouse. You may even want to ask “what expectations do you feel I have that are not realistic?”
The next step in the process is to find out what our spouses expectations are. We can make the choice here to become other oriented. Are there any of your spouses expectations that you can meet?
Finally, we must make the choice to relinquish our unfair or unrealistic expectations. We need to realize that if we are constantly trying to change or mold our spouse to our personal expectations, we will never really get to know who our spouse could be. Remember that God intentionally puts two different people together for the purpose of bringing them together as one flesh.

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

Podcast: Download

What Do I Do With My Expectations?

Everyone needs to take a moment to evaluate their own marital expectations. We need to ask ourselves a few questions. What do I expect of my spouse? Are these expectations fair? How am I imposing these expectations on him/her? One way to find this out is to ask your spouse. You may even want to ask “what expectations do you feel I have that are not realistic?”
The next step in the process is to find out what our spouses expectations are. We can make the choice here to become other oriented. Are there any of your spouses expectations that you can meet?
Finally, we must make the choice to relinquish our unfair or unrealistic expectations. We need to realize that if we are constantly trying to change or mold our spouse to our personal expectations, we will never really get to know who our spouse could be. Remember that God intentionally puts two different people together for the purpose of bringing them together as one flesh.

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

Podcast: Download

Expectations Can Cause Great Harm

We need to keep in mind that unrealistic, undiscussed expectations can and will cause great harm to the marriage relationship. Our expectations tend to reveal what we expect to get out of the relationship. The problem is as we said, the expectations we hold are very unrealistic and no one could live up to them. We need to keep in mind that when our spouse doesn’t live up to our expectations it is not their fault but ours. We must allow for real life. It’s not that we can’t have a “happily ever after” its just that we may need to adjust our thinking. We may have gone into marriage with the unconscious thought of having someone there to always meet our needs. The problem is that it is impossible for one person to meet our needs. The only one who can meet those needs is our Heavenly Father. So our focus shift needs to be how do I make my marriage and spouse my number one ministry. How do I focus on serving my spouse rather then the focus of my expectations being met?

Listen to today’s podcast for more on today’s topic.

Podcast: Download

Expectations Can Cause Great Harm

We need to keep in mind that unrealistic, undiscussed expectations can and will cause great harm to the marriage relationship. Our expectations tend to reveal what we expect to get out of the relationship. The problem is as we said, the expectations we hold are very unrealistic and no one could live up to them. We need to keep in mind that when our spouse doesn’t live up to our expectations it is not their fault but ours. We must allow for real life. It’s not that we can’t have a “happily ever after” its just that we may need to adjust our thinking. We may have gone into marriage with the unconscious thought of having someone there to always meet our needs. The problem is that it is impossible for one person to meet our needs. The only one who can meet those needs is our Heavenly Father. So our focus shift needs to be how do I make my marriage and spouse my number one ministry. How do I focus on serving my spouse rather then the focus of my expectations being met?

Listen to today’s podcast for more on today’s topic.

Podcast: Download

Common Areas Of Expectation Problems

There are several areas where our expectations can create problems. The first is expectations with in-laws; how often family will get together, holidays and level of grandparent involvement to name a few. Expectations can create problems in a sexual relationship in many ways. The third is companionship expectations or how you will spend time together and how much. Another is parenting expectations. This can be vastly different for each spouse from parental involvement to mother working in or out of the home.
There are expectations about marriage relationship itself, like how we handle encouragement. How we will encourage our spouse and how often. We even have expectations on how conflict should be handled.
Keep checking back this week as we begin to discuss what to do with all these expectations so we are handling them in a healthy way and not allowing them to hurt our marriage relationship.

Listen to today’s podcast for more on expectations in marriage.

Podcast: Download

Common Areas Of Expectation Problems

There are several areas where our expectations can create problems. The first is expectations with in-laws; how often family will get together, holidays and level of grandparent involvement to name a few. Expectations can create problems in a sexual relationship in many ways. The third is companionship expectations or how you will spend time together and how much. Another is parenting expectations. This can be vastly different for each spouse from parental involvement to mother working in or out of the home.
There are expectations about marriage relationship itself, like how we handle encouragement. How we will encourage our spouse and how often. We even have expectations on how conflict should be handled.
Keep checking back this week as we begin to discuss what to do with all these expectations so we are handling them in a healthy way and not allowing them to hurt our marriage relationship.

Listen to today’s podcast for more on expectations in marriage.

Podcast: Download

Where Do Out Expectations Come From?

This week we are going to focus on marriage because the state of the marriage will impact our ability to parent. One of the basic things that can have a profound effect on our marriage is the expectations we bring into it. But where do these expectations come from?
One of the places we develop expectations for our marriage is in the dating relationship. Unfortunately, the whole dating process is an untrue picture of marriage. In dating, a person always presents the best part of themselves so it creates unrealistic expectations of who the other person really is.
Observing our parent’s marriage,for better or worse, creates expectations. It sets up expectations for everything from roles to possible dysfunctions.
The other places from which we create expectations are our own temperament, the media, our past relationships and even our cultural background. It would seem we all come into marriage with a lot of baggage that can have an impact if we are not aware and learn to control our expectations. Check back this week as we continue on this topic of expectations in marriage.

As always listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

Podcast: Download

Where Do Out Expectations Come From?

This week we are going to focus on marriage because the state of the marriage will impact our ability to parent. One of the basic things that can have a profound effect on our marriage is the expectations we bring into it. But where do these expectations come from?
One of the places we develop expectations for our marriage is in the dating relationship. Unfortunately, the whole dating process is an untrue picture of marriage. In dating, a person always presents the best part of themselves so it creates unrealistic expectations of who the other person really is.
Observing our parent’s marriage,for better or worse, creates expectations. It sets up expectations for everything from roles to possible dysfunctions.
The other places from which we create expectations are our own temperament, the media, our past relationships and even our cultural background. It would seem we all come into marriage with a lot of baggage that can have an impact if we are not aware and learn to control our expectations. Check back this week as we continue on this topic of expectations in marriage.

As always listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

Podcast: Download