The Four Steps of the Parent Training Process | Part 5


#4 = Encourage

Encouragement is another vital part of the training experience. We must encourage the process not necessarily the result.  This means that we have to focus on the effort that a child puts forth.  This is true of any age group. It is so easy with the three year old who has attempted to help clean up to focus on all the toys they missed rather then the effort they put forth trying.  The same for a child who brings home a grade a little lower then expected after spending lots of time on a project or studying for a test.  We must applaud effort.  We spent a week series on this topic that you can check out by clicking here.

We must remember that parenting is all about the process.  We can get so bogged down trying to focus on the result of good behavior or good grades.  We need to remember that we are raising children with the goal of a responsible adult; they aren’t there yet.  So just as we give a consequence for a poor choice we must give a “reward” for a good choice.  The reward can be as simple as communicating that they did a good job, it is encouraging to simply know someone has noticed the effort you put forth. Choose to become your child’s biggest cheerleader!


Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.


The Four Steps of the Parent Training Process | Part 52017-10-05T11:24:18-04:00

The Four Steps of the Parent Training Process | Part 4


#3 = Experience

After exposing His disciples to countless ministry opportunities along side Himself, Jesus then allowed the disciples to experience it for themselves.  They had had countless hours of ministry practice and it was now game day.

Mark 6:7   And he called his twelve disciples together and began sending them out two by two, giving them authority to cast out evil spirits.  He told them to take nothing for their journey except a walking stickno food, no travelers bag, no money.  He allowed them to wear sandals but not to take a change of clothes. Wherever you go, he said, stay in the same house until you leave town.  But if any place refuses to welcome you or listen to you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate.  So the disciples went out, telling everyone they met to repent of their sins and turn to God.  And they cast out many demons and healed many sick people, anointing them with olive oil.  NLT

This may be the most difficult part of the training process for parents.  This means having to spend the hours practicing with my child and exposing them to what I am training them in. Then I have to take a step back and allow them to experience the training and stand on the sidelines.  How hard must it be for a coach to watch his team fail or loose a game but so often it is through the losses that we can see what needs to be worked on.  This applies to everything from teaching your children time management then allowing them to manage their time as they head toward a science project, to handling money, the social area, dating and even driving.  It would be so much better for children to practice these things while at home for us to “coach them through” any failures or missteps then for their only practice to be when they hit the real adult world or the college campus. Take the time to allow your child to truly experience the training then be there to coach them through the wins and the losses!

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

The Four Steps of the Parent Training Process | Part 42017-10-05T11:24:14-04:00

The Four Steps of the Parent Training Process | Part 3


#2 = Exposure

Here is just one awesome example of how Jesus chose to expose His disciples to a ministry opportunity that they would have otherwise missed. Mark 6:35   Late in the afternoon his disciples came to him and said, This is a remote place, and its already getting late.  Send the crowds away so they can go to the nearby farms and villages and buy something to eat. But Jesus said, You feed them. With what? they asked. Wed have to work for months to earn enough money to buy food for all these people! How much bread do you have? he asked. Go and find out. They came back and reported, We have five loaves of bread and two fish. Then Jesus told the disciples to have the people sit down in groups on the green grass.  So they sat down in groups of fifty or a hundred.  Jesus took the five loaves and two fish, looked up toward heaven, and blessed them. Then, breaking the loaves into pieces, he kept giving the bread to the disciples so they could distribute it to the people. He also divided the fish for everyone to share.  They all ate as much as they wanted, and afterward, the disciples picked up twelve baskets of leftover bread and fish.  A total of 5,000 men and their families were fed from those loaves!    NLT

What can we learn from this as parents? We need to expose our children to the types of qualities that we want them to have.  If we want them to have an others oriented attitude then we have to give them opportunities to serve others. This can be both in the home, as we serve each other, or out of the home on family service projects.  We can also include them in our decision making processes so they can learn from what we do.  Allow them to participate even if it may mean a little more work in the present this is an invaluable part of the training process.


Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

The Four Steps of the Parent Training Process | Part 32017-10-05T11:24:11-04:00

The Four Steps of the Parent Training Process | Part 2


#1 = Example

Being the example for your child is one of the most important parts for the training process. The whole “do as I say not as I do” mentality does not work for children. We have mentioned before what brilliant mimics they can be. There have been many times working in the residential program, where parents come in discussing the behavior problems of their children and are shocked to discover how influential they have been in that negative behavior. I have even had one parent disgusted with their child’s foul language. They exclaimed through expletives, I’m just not sure where they get it from!  We need to always be aware that we are setting the example for our children’s behavior for better or worse.  Through out the training process we need to model the expectations we have for our children.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

The Four Steps of the Parent Training Process | Part 22017-10-05T11:24:06-04:00

The Four Steps of the Parent Training Process | Part 1


A Summary Of The Process

We speak often about training our children, but what does that training process look like? This week we are going to look at exactly that.  The awesome thing is we don’t have to attempt to put together a training process by ourselves.  We have an example of how to train our children by watching how Jesus trained His disciples.

The first thing Jesus did was set the ultimate example for His disciples, showing them daily how to live.  He showed them many things, how to minister to people, how to deal with conflict, how not to walk by needs around them, how to handle money rather then be handled by money, as well as many other things.  He didn’t just tell them how to do things; He showed them.  The next thing that Jesus did for his disciples in the training process was to expose them to the things He wanted to train them in.  He brought them with Him while He was ministering.  They not only got to see Him do ministry, He let them play a part in it.

Thirdly, Jesus sent them out, He let them experience what they needed to learn.  They went out in pairs to practice alone and then came back to report to Him.  Lastly, Jesus encouraged them.  They got to hear Him pray for them, as well as observe Him as He served them.

We will spend the rest of this week breaking down these principles to see how they apply to our parenting process.


Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.


The Four Steps of the Parent Training Process | Part 12017-10-05T11:24:01-04:00

Raising a Leader | Part 5


Leaders Say I’m Sorry

First, we need to be reminded that leaders are thinkers, not reactors. We need to be setting the example for this in our lives. When we are living out our day and something gets under our skin, especially with our children, and we react rather then process through, we need to set the example and apologize.
How humbling in my own life this week when my three year old looks at me and says “mommy, I think you need to calm down.” I was being a little too frenetic dealing with lots of things going on and obviously reacting and not processing. So this mommy had to apologize for her “stinky attitude.”
We need to set the example but we also need to cheer when they show leadership or take initiative. Even if the initiative may not have been right, like my three year old attempting to help mommy and ultimately making a bigger mess. I have a choice to make. I can remember that he is a child and applaud the motive behind his action or I can react, get frustrated and miss my opportunity to cheer on leadership.
Lord, please always help me to remember to cheer!!!

As always listen to today’s podcast for more insight on the topic of raising a leader.

Raising a Leader | Part 52013-09-30T13:10:33-04:00

Raising a Leader | Part 4


Practicing Servant-Hood

We said Monday that true leadership is being a servant.  If that is the case most people, especially children, aren’t naturally bent to serve others.  In today’s culture we have been trained to think it is all about me, so the concept of servant hood is counter intuitive.  We must give our children an opportunity to serve.  Service starts in the family and works outward.  We need to train our children to serve each other then those around us.  Serving others should be part of our DNA as a family.

After giving your child the opportunity to serve we need to make sure that we are taking the time to process the experience with our children.  How did it make us feel? (Etc.)

Make sure that we are giving our leaders-in-training many opportunities to serve those around us. Click here to visit our series on training a servant.


Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on raising a leader.

Raising a Leader | Part 42013-09-30T13:09:35-04:00

Raising a Leader | Part 3


Leadership Takes Practice

If leadership isn’t all about temperament but a skill to be learned then it like any other skill set takes practice.  It would be ludicrous to hand a five year old a basket ball and send them out on to the court of a high school game and expect them to be able to play.  No if you want your child to play any sport at the high school or college level you spend time when they are young teaching them the game.  You enroll them in city leagues.  You also spend time practicing with them.  But how often do we do this as parents with our teenagers.  We just expect them to be a leader as we throw them onto a high school campus.

We must help them practice leadership.  We must first allow them to make decisions.  Leaders know first how to make the right decision and second know how to believe in that decision so that they won’t cave under pressure.   Leaders have learned how to make the right decision under the pressure of their peers, their impulses and their desires.  They have had practice choosing to make the right decision rather then the easy decision.  (click here for our series on training your child to have impulse control)


Listen to today’s topic for more insight on raising a leader

Raising a Leader | Part 32013-09-30T13:08:35-04:00

Raising a Leader | Part 2


Being The Example

Yesterday we opened our discussion about leadership.  We said that true leadership begins with being a servant.  If that is the case, how do you begin training your child to grow up to be a leader rather than a follower?

First we need to decide that this is one of the most significant things that a parent can teach. Secondly, we need to realize that even leaders are followers.  They are just following the right thing.  They are ultimately following God.  Leaders need to be nurtured in their relationship with God.  Teach your children to love God.  They will become men and women who know where to go for direction and won’t conform to the culture around them.  (Romans 12:1-2)  For more on nurturing your child’s relationship with God check out our series on it by clicking here.


Listen to today’s topic for more insight on raising a leader.

Raising a Leader | Part 22013-09-30T13:07:44-04:00

Raising a Leader | Part 1


Why It’s Important

What we need in our culture today are true leaders.  Young men and women who are trained and ready to lead this country, their community, businesses and churches in a way that would honor God.  Leaders do not use others to get things done.  They are simply people who catch a dream and a vision to complete that dream; because of this passion others want to follow them.  Unfortunately, most people don’t understand what it means to be a leader.  Leadership is not solely about temperament….it’s about training.

If I am to train up a child in the way that he or she should go, and I know that God wants our children to be leaders, then it stands to reason that I need to know what leaders do and train my child to do that.  We need to look at the one who came here to earth to be our greatest example as leader.  Jesus told us in Matthew 20:16, “So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”  He also gave us an example of this in John 13:1, where He washes the disciples feet.  As far as Jesus is concerned true leadership all boils down to understanding the concept of serving others.


Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on raising a leader.


Raising a Leader | Part 12013-09-30T13:06:18-04:00