responsibility

The Reason for Chores | Part 4

2015-03-16T12:24:29+00:00

Implementing Chores

Many parents ask the question should allowance be attached to chores? The response is what are we training them for? The purpose of training up a child is to ready them for adulthood. There are many jobs that we as adults have to do around the house. I don’t remember ever receiving a paycheck for doing dishes, laundry or taking out the trash.  One of the purposes of chores is to teach children that there are things that we do simply to be a contributing member of a family. There may be extra jobs that are not considered regular chores, such as cleaning out the refrigerator or cleaning windows, that could be done to earn some extra cash.  This teaches a child to go above and beyond what is simply required of them. These extra jobs can also be used as consequences, without pay, for chores not done.
Many parents then ask how do I get my child to do household chores? We discussed yesterday setting up a reward/consequence plan for chores. We as adults do have a reward for household chores-a clean and relaxing living space. Think of some rewards,not monetary, that will motivate your child as well as consequences for chores not done.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on chores.

The Reason for Chores | Part 4 2015-03-16T12:24:29+00:00

The Reason for Chores | Part 3

2015-03-16T12:24:03+00:00

Chores Teach A Child To Choose

We discussed yesterday that chores train a child to do what is responsible rather then what is pleasurable. The question is where is a parent to start? The concept of chores is something that can start as early as preschool with simple tasks.  In our house, we are working with our three-year-old son teaching him how to clean up after himself. He picks up one set of toys before bringing out another.  Of course it would be MUCH faster, and I probably wouldn’t have to sing the clean up song, if I just ran around after him straightening.  If I consistently did the work for him, however, then he wouldn’t be ready for the next step, cleaning his room on his own.

For any child utilizing the ICE plan is key for chores.  Instruct them what your expectation is.  Tell them ahead of time what the consequence is for not completing the chore and what the reward is for completing the chore to your expectation.  Finally and sometimes most difficultly we have to step back and let them exercise their choice.  Are they going to choose a reward or consequence?

In the residential homes at Sheridan house the teens have chores every morning.  The room that does the best in their chores gets ice cream at the end of the week.  Many kids are reward driven so attaching rewards early on for a job well done will easily teach that it’s worth it to work hard.

 

For more on chores listen to today’s podcast.

The Reason for Chores | Part 3 2015-03-16T12:24:03+00:00

The Reason for Chores | Part 2

2016-07-25T11:47:37+00:00

Why It’s So Important

Why is it so important to fight the chores battle as parents? There are four main reasons. First there is nothing that teaches a child personal responsibility as well as chores.  It teaches a child to make the choice between what they want to do and what they need to do.  This learned responsibility translates into many adult situations from credit cards to sexuality.

Chores can communicate that a child is needed.  Every part of the family pitches in to help out.

It can also help to teach a child how to take initiative as well as learning the importance of excellence.  If I do something right the first time I won’t have to go back and fix it.

Lastly it prepares a child for emancipation from the home.  We have laughed about how many college freshman have no idea how to do laundry.  But simply teaching a child how to do chores helps them to learn basic household management skills.

 

For more on why chores are such an important area to train your child in, listen to today’s podcast.

The Reason for Chores | Part 2 2016-07-25T11:47:37+00:00

The Reason for Chores | Part 1

2015-03-15T18:38:58+00:00

Why Don’t We Give Our Kids Chores Anymore?

This week will be spent talking about the importance of children doing household chores. The interesting thing is that it seems overall families don’t prioritize their children doing chores.  Why is this?

There are many reasons for this but it seems that the main reason is time.  We are all very busy from adults to children in the home, our schedules are jam-packed.  The priority of chores has fallen by the wayside. It also takes a lot of time put in by the parent.  It takes time to train your child how to do the chore.  It takes time to inspect the chores and make sure that they are done to your standard.  It also takes time to correct mistakes, as well as time to cheer when the chore is done right.  This is why many parents shy away from the job of training their children to do chores.  “It just seems faster and easier to do it myself. “

Chores are an important part of training a child however.   There are many lessons that can be learned from them.  Check back the rest of this week to see why they are invaluable!

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on chores.

The Reason for Chores | Part 1 2015-03-15T18:38:58+00:00

Teaching Kids Time Management | Part 5

2013-09-16T09:11:35+00:00

The Series Wrap Up

As we wrap up this week discussing training children in time management, there are two important facts to remember.  In order to be consistent, time management training is something that both parents need to be on the same page with.   This means that there needs to be discussion time or a parental staff meeting as you begin to decide on and implement a plan.

The second is that if we as parents are consistent with our plan, rewards and consequences the choice to follow the plan is placed on our child’s shoulders.  If we are not consistent then we the parents become the consequence.  With the plan clearly communicated to our child and consistently enforced it is easy to show the child that they are ultimately choosing the reward or the consequence by their behavior.  It removes us from the equation and allows us to be the unemotional enforcers of our plan. Both of these facts are true in many areas of parenting and remind us how important it is to have a plan in place.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on training your child in time management.

Teaching Kids Time Management | Part 5 2013-09-16T09:11:35+00:00

Teaching Kids Time Management | Part 4

2013-09-02T20:00:57+00:00

Giving Your Child Control Over Their Time

In the parenting we need to practice the ICE plan, instruct, consequence, and exercise.  When we are training our kids to use their time wisely it is no different.  The past few days we have been discussing the different ways to instruct your children by helping them to manage their time.  Next we need to set up the consequences both positive and negative for time management, meaning rewards for consistently sticking with the plan and what will be done if the child strays from the plan. As the child grows we can give them more and more control over their own time management, which is the exercise in the ICE plan.

Again as with money management, we can look at our goals for training our children in time management and work backwards.  Ultimately as our children leave our home we want them to be prepared to have control over their time, especially when facing all the time wasting temptations on a college campus. We need to give them room to practice managing their time while they are still under our roof in high school.  An easy place to do this is a teen’s bedtime. Keep in mind that a bedtime is different from a curfew.  You can slowly back a bedtime up until ultimately there is no bedtime.  As long as a teen is keeping up with their school work and morning family responsibilities then they can continue without a bedtime.   If they are having a hard time getting up with their alarm in the morning then the bedtime can be reinstated.  The important thing is to allow your children to practice time management while you are still there to help them with it.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on training your children in time management.

Teaching Kids Time Management | Part 4 2013-09-02T20:00:57+00:00

Teaching Kids Time Management | Part 3

2013-09-02T20:00:17+00:00

Teaching Kids to “Bank” Time

Teaching children to manage their time is such an important life skill that will help them to succeed.  One of the areas to help them learn how to do this, is the concept of banking time.  This concept can be the most useful when tackling a big project.  For small children we can use their chores to teach them this lesson.  If a child learns to pick up their toys or does a little bit every day then cleaning their room is not a big deal.  If they do not pick up after themselves then cleaning their room will big a huge job.  The same applies for older children and teens when having to complete a school project or book report.  One of the most important things these projects teach is how to budget your time.  If we help our children break a project down into bite size pieces and then hold them accountable we will save our family from a very stressful time the weekend before the project is due.  We are also teaching our children how to handle big tasks with out it stopping their lives.  This is a very important life skill to learn for college, the work place, and even for simple household management.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on training your children to bank their time.

Teaching Kids Time Management | Part 3 2013-09-02T20:00:17+00:00

Teaching Kids Time Management | Part 2

2013-09-02T19:59:42+00:00

Training Starts with Your Example

We have said many times that one of the ways our children learn best is observing our example; the area of time management is no different.  Is our home one of calm organization or of consistent stressful chaos?  If we are managing our time and our family’s time the overall timbre of the home should be that of a well oiled machine.  If we are not managing our time and our time is managing us then we will live in chaos darting from one thing to the next with the overwhelmed feeling of never getting ahead.

As parents we need to first look at our time and family time with realistic expectations.  Like we stated yesterday, there are only so many hours in the day so we need to make the most of them but we cannot be unrealistic at how much we can squeeze into those hours.  We must sit down and organize our schedule so that we will not be consistently responding to the “tyranny of the urgent,” but we will be in charge of our time.  This is where a weekly parent staff meeting can be effective. Remember it is ok to say no to things so that you can have those quiet times as a family!

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on training your children in time management.

Teaching Kids Time Management | Part 2 2013-09-02T19:59:42+00:00

Teaching Kids Time Management | Part 1

2013-09-02T19:58:55+00:00

Why It’s Important to Teach Kids about Time Management

Today’s generation has so many things vying for their attention such as the internet, television, gaming and many others.  These things can be effective tools for learning and having fun but if not managed appropriately could be big time wasters.  If we allow our children to enter adulthood without knowing how to manage their time it can have the potential to effect so many areas of their life from household responsibilities, parenting, marriage and their job success.

Time is different from other things that we train our children how to manage.  Time, unlike money, is something that they will never get back.  You can make more money but there are only so many hours in a day.   Children in and of themselves are not usually time conscious but do thrive on a consistent schedule.  We can begin to train our children with time management by helping them have a schedule and stick to it.   This week we will be discussing how to train your children to be good managers which is one more key to their future success.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on training your children in time management.

Teaching Kids Time Management | Part 1 2013-09-02T19:58:55+00:00