Taking Your Child From Stubborn to Determined with Torrey Roberts | Part 5

Taking Your Child From Stubborn to Determined with Torrey Roberts | Part 5

Jan 23

Keep the End Result In Mind While Keeping the Relationship

 

For more on this topic, listen to today’s podcast.

 
Taking Your Child From Stubborn to Determined with Torrey Roberts | Part 4

Taking Your Child From Stubborn to Determined with Torrey Roberts | Part 4

Jan 22

The Difference Between Determined And Rebellious

Both types of child can seem similar but the difference may be in the root of what they want.  A determined child is passionate for what they want.  The strong willed child may fight to get their way.  This is pride coming out, they will battle for their way regardless.  They don’t like being told no.  Another type of child is the angry child; they battle authority because they are angry.  When dealing with toddlers there may be some overlap of these three just from the natural push back of that age.  As children get older and training kicks in the determined child’s passion can be seen for what it is.  Passion for things they believe in.  Like we said yesterday, we need to help our child learn to channel that good quality and not get discouraged. The trained, determined child will be the child/teen who won’t easily quit or give up, can endure failures and come back, and isn’t afraid to risk failure. Determination at its best is doing your part, staying with it, never quitting and then trusting God for the results. This is what we want to instill in our children.

 

For more on this topic, listen to today’s podcast.

 
Taking Your Child From Stubborn to Determined with Torrey Roberts | Part 3

Taking Your Child From Stubborn to Determined with Torrey Roberts | Part 3

Jan 21

Finding Ways To Use That Determination For Good Things

People who are stubborn or determined, sometimes are the type of people who can get something in their head and cannot be swayed from it.  Another pitfall of this personality type is impulse control.  We can help train our children to put their determination to good use.  Determined people are the ones who run marathons, conquer Everest and bring about change in the world around them.  We have to help our children channel this gift.  Help them with impulse control.  A couple good areas to work on are time and money management.  For more on these three topics click herehere and here.

We can help by steering them into activities that take time and patience to help them hone their determination.  Help find what they are passionate about and show them how to use their determination to do something with this passion.  This can be especially true for our kids in their teen years.  Instead of getting frustrated with our child’s stubbornness look for creative ways to help them put it to good use.

 

For more, listen to today’s podcast.

 
Taking Your Child From Stubborn to Determined with Torrey Roberts | Part 2

Taking Your Child From Stubborn to Determined with Torrey Roberts | Part 2

Jan 20

The Key: Consistency

One of the house pops I had the privilege to work with in the residential homes at Sheridan House had a saying that he always used with the kids.  It was “hard heads learn the hard way.”  This seems to apply to all stubborn children.  Some seem to consistently test boundaries to make sure that they are always the same.  If we are not consistent with our rules, rewards and consequences it can lead to confusion.  Worse then that, it can be very detrimental to the training of our strong willed child.  Our no must mean no, every single time.  If we are not consistent it can teach them to look for the moments of weakness and exploit them, rather then learn the lesson we are trying to teach.  For example, if we have said to our children before entering the grocery store “we will not be buying ______ today,” we need to be prepared for our children to test this.  A strong willed child may even attempt a tantrum to see if you will give in.  If we do give in to save embarrassment in public then we have taught our child either the no doesn’t mean no when we aren’t at home, I can get what I want by pitching a fit, or both.  Consistency is key to training.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

 
Taking Your Child From Stubborn to Determined with Torrey Roberts | Part 1

Taking Your Child From Stubborn to Determined with Torrey Roberts | Part 1

Jan 19

Your Child Is Fearfully And Wonderfully Made

It is easy to get caught up in the day to day battles with a strong child and get tired, even frustrated.  There are some wonderful verses that can encourage those of us with strong willed children, to stay the course.  The first is Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” This verse is a wonderful encouragement. It also reminds us that we are not training for today, we are training for the future.   We have 18 years to teach and train our children for adulthood, we need to keep our expectations there.  Especially those days we feel like we have repeated instructions several times.

The second set of verses that can encourage is Psalm 139.  These verses tell us that we were “fearfully and wonderfully made”, that God “knit us together”, and that all our days, even before they began, were known to God. This means that God gave our strong child this personality for a purpose.  Now we live in a fallen world and are tainted by sin. So our goal should not be to “break” our child but to help them become who God planned them to be, through teaching and training.

Check back this week as we discuss taking our child from strong willed, or stubborn to determined.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.

 
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