Communication in Your Marriage | Part 4

Communication in Your Marriage | Part 4

Oct 30

How To Start Great Communication

Great communication starts with planning, purpose and time. Because of the busyness of our schedules we cannot just wait for great communication to happen. We have to prepare for it. As unromantic as it sounds we have to put in on our calendar. Especially for parents, we are balancing lots of schedules and it is easy for marital communication time to get pushed to the back burner. This is very detrimental for both parenting and marriage.

So a time has been set, what next? Making sure your communication time has purpose. This can seem like it would be uncomfortable, setting aside time just to talk. Because the purpose is communication there can’t be distractions such as TV or phones or even children begging for your attention. This is very hard for young parents so maybe even putting your toddlers in a stroller and going for a walk would work if a date night is not feasible every week.

Finally we must allow ourselves enough time to communicate. It cannot be a five or ten minute burst when you get home from work. It must be a chunk of time set aside, so that you can practice through all five levels of communication.

Most importantly make it fun. Take the time to dream together and allow these times to deepen your friendship.


For more insight on the topic of communication listen to today’s podcast.

Communication in Your Marriage | Part 3

Communication in Your Marriage | Part 3

Oct 29

The Levels of Communication

There are actually five levels of communication that we use when speaking to others.  The first level of communication is called “cliché conversation”.  This is very surface communication, verbally touching base with someone.  The basic questions like “hi, how are you” and the answers to those questions.

The second and third levels of communication seem to be where we spend most of our time.  The second level is journalistic communication.  This is reporting things or giving facts/information.  Such as my day at work went great, this happened today, ect. The third level is called editorial communication this is giving your opinion on what’s going on.  For example not only talking about the game last night but how you felt the players could have done things differently or sharing your opinion about things that are going on at the office.

The final two levels are vitally important for marriage but many of us are afraid to go there.  Either we are afraid of being hurt, rejected or we simply haven’t observed how to communicate at these levels.  The fourth level is the “risk feelings level” This is when you cautiously test the waters to see if it is a safe place, or even just a safe time, to share feelings.  This is the level where vulnerability begins.   By sharing how you feel or how something effects you then you are beginning to share yourself with someone else.

The final level is called emotional nakedness.  This is the goal for every marriage.  This is where we feel completely safe completely opening up to another person.  It is allowing each other to completely share who we are as people with no fear.  Because of this level of vulnerability we cannot stay in level five communication all the time or we would be exhausted.  For most relationships it takes building through each level even in one sitting to get to this point of vulnerability and ultimately years to practice!

For more insight on this topic listen to today’s podcast.

Communication in Your Marriage | Part 2

Communication in Your Marriage | Part 2

Oct 28

Why Is Communication in Marriage Important for Parenting?

Yesterday we talked about why communication in marriage is difficult.  One of the things that we touched on is that most of the time we marry our opposites.  We marry someone who is different from ourselves, gender, background and personality differences.

Because of these differences conflict is bound to happen.  Conflict if handled appropriately can strengthen a marriage.  This is where communication comes in.  We must work through the issues not bury them.  We need to be a parenting team.  In order for that solid team to be built it starts with solid communication through the marital issues.  That way when parenting issues arise we are ready to work  it.   Click here for more on when parents don’t agree.

the time to work through the communication issues it will help build a parenting team and strengthen your marriage in the process.


Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

Communication in Your Marriage | Part 1

Communication in Your Marriage | Part 1

Oct 27

Why Is Communication So Hard?

One of the most important things in parenting is for spouses to be able to communicate about parenting issues.  We are going to spend this week discussing communication in marriage because it is ultimately such an important parenting topic.

Why with so many communication tools is it so hard for us to communicate?  There are many reasons.  The first is the fact that many of us never observed our parents communicating, or communicating in a healthy way.  Another is the busyness of our lives.  We can become like ships passing in the night with our spouses and be so exhausted by the end of the day that we don’t have the energy to talk to each other.  Another reason communication can be hard is that most of us marry our opposites and this is true for our communication styles.  It may even be as simple as one of us is a night person and one of us is a morning person.

Whatever the barrier to our communication is we must choose to push past it.  Find a time that is good for both you and your spouse.  If communication has been a difficult issue then choose to spend some time on neutral turf, like out at a restaurant or a coffee place, even just out for a walk.  The point is your parenting and ultimately your marriage depends on quality communication.  Choose to make it a priority!


Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

Helping My Child Cope with Fear | Part 5

Helping My Child Cope with Fear | Part 5

Oct 24

The Common Fears Of Each Stage Of Life

Each phase of childhood has it’s own set of fears that go along with it, from nightmares to fear of rejection. Listen to today’s podcast as we explore what some of these fears are.

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