How You Could Be Feeding Their Fear- Part #1
One if the things that we need to be careful of as parents is using fear to get obedience. It’s is not uncommon to see parents attempt to use fear tactics on their children. We laugh at some of the ones from years past “don’t cross your eyes too much, they’ll stick like that” or “don’t sit so close to the tv, you’ll go blind” etc. Around Christmas time, in holiday fun, there is a little elf who sits in houses and reports back to Santa our children’s behavior. While these are humorous, and obviously not damaging, examples of using “fear” to get desired behavior there are more detrimental ones. “If you don’t work harder at school, you won’t amount to anything”, for example. Now while there are realities to teaching our children that it may not be safe to talk to strangers, we need to be careful not to instill fear of everyone around them. We need to be careful in our parenting to not be adding unnecessary fear to our children to garner obedience.
Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.
Listening To Their Fears
It has been said that the 21 century word for fear is anxiety. Reports state that 1 in 10 children struggle with anxiety. That could very easily be our child. We must be spending time with our children listening to them, sometimes even between the lines, to evaluate if our child is struggling.
The amazing thing is that fear was one of the topics Jesus brought up most. Here are just some of the verses where Jesus mentions “do not be afraid” or “do not fear”.
Matthew 10:31 “So don’t be afraid, you are worth much more than the sparrows … ”
Matthew 9:2 “Take courage, …”
Matthew 6:25 “I tell you not to,worry about everyday life …”
Luke 8:50 “Don’t be afraid, just believe ..”
Matthew 10:20 “Do not fear …”
Luke 12:32 “Do not fear …”
John 14:27 “Do not be troubled or afraid.”
Luke 24:38 “Why are you frightened? he asked”
Matthew 17:7 “… do not be afraid …”
Check back the rest of this week as we go deeper into this important topic.
Listen to today’s podcast for more on fear.
The Importance Of Receiving Forgiveness
There are many reasons to focus on teaching forgiveness. One of which is learning how to forgive enables your child to have a successful marriage. It helps your child avoid a life filled with bitterness and resentment. As they learn the cost of forgiveness it helps them to understand what it meant for God to forgives them.
1 John 4:7-8 says, “Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” A major component to any love relationship is giving and receiving forgiveness, parent/child, spouses and God to us. Make sure you are including this important training in your parenting.
Listen to today’s podcast for more.
When Your Child Is Hurt
This may be one of the most if not the most difficult thing about being a parent, watching your child hurt. Whether it is physically hurt, being sick or emotionally hurting it pains us to see. Many of us would do anything to carry that burden for our child. So what can we do when our child is hurt? One of the first places we can teach forgiveness is in the home. Siblings are great practice for many areas of life, forgiveness definitely being one. Teaching siblings the choice of forgiveness can start very early when they inevitably hurt each other. We start by acknowledging the incident and the pain. Then have one sibling ask for forgiveness and the other give it. This may seem simple but we are instilling this concept early for when the bigger hurts come later on. It needs to be the same process if they are hurt by a peer. Talk through with your child by acknowledging their pain. It is easy to blow off when a teen brings up a social situation but we need to use every situation to practice forgiveness in the heart of our child. When dealing with a bully we don’t want our child to be a doormat but Christ would not have us teach retaliation either. Click here for our series on dealing with bullies. Spend time listening to your children and allowing them to emote, offering forgiveness seems easier if you have support.
Listen to today’s podcast foote on helping your child learn forgiveness when they are hurting.