Getting Your Husband Engaged in the Parenting Process | Part 1

Getting Your Husband Engaged in the Parenting Process | Part 1

Feb 20

Why Do Dads Do Less Parenting Then Moms?

Many moms may wonder why there is a disconnect between their husbands and their kids.  Even from birth some dads are uncomfortable with babies but for good reason, they haven’t ever really been around one.  Now all of a sudden they are a parent and have one of their own.  We are going to spend this week talking about how to help your husband engage in parenting.

There are many reasons why moms tend to do more of the parenting.  With dolls and playing house most girls even from a young age are groomed from their imaginary play to be a mom. Then they have nine months bonding with the child growing with in them, feeling every movement and hiccup.  Even through the birth process a hormone is released to help them bond even more with their child.   For all of these reasons moms may have an easier time parenting even from the beginning.  There are many dads who want to be just as involved but may not have that “maternal instinct” in knowing exactly what to do.  This is where we not only need to allow our husband the chance to bond with their child but coach them with affirmation especially early on. Check back tomorrow for more on encouraging your husband in this process.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic

 
Arranging Your Child’s Marriage | Part 5

Arranging Your Child’s Marriage | Part 5

Feb 17

Preparing During the High School Years

If we look at the high school and college years as an internship for adulthood and we are the supervisor, it may help us keep perspective as parents.  These years it is tempting to be one of two ways, stifling because we are beginning to grieve their exit from our home or too hands off thinking they are old enough to make their own decisions.  It is a careful balance of allowing them to make decisions but being there to debrief and help guide wrong decisions.   This is key for training them through the dating years.

Growing up in our house first dates were always at our home.  It was a little weird when someone asked me out to try to explain that, yes the rumor was true, they did have to come over and meet my dad.  But the guys who were “worth it” came.  (and yes Dad, I am very grateful. So Thank You!! It did always make me feel special, protected and loved.)

I would recommend this approach for parents of both sons and daughters.  It will help you keep your finger on the pulse of who your children are interested in and dating.  Then you can take the time to debrief to discuss the evening and pull out the spouse list to help your teen compare.  This should help to guide your child in what they should do when you are not always around, i.e. college years.  For the college years, make sure that you still take the time to communicate with your child, if they are away from home.  You can still be there to be a listening ear and a comfort through the lonely times.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on positively impacting your child’s future marriage, through the high school and college years.

 
Arranging Your Child’s Marriage | Part 4

Arranging Your Child’s Marriage | Part 4

Feb 16

Preparing During the Middle School Years

We have mentioned it many times before … communication is an important key to training.  In order for you to be a safe place for your kids to come for accountability, there must be constant communication about the topic of dating.  Many parents are scared to discuss their teen’s relationships because everything looks so different today.  Many parents may also have a hard time getting their teen to open up about this topic.  Especially if you are trying to create this open atmosphere late in the game, it may be difficult.  We must consistently pursue our kids.  This is where the concept of “dating” our children is very helpful. Choosing to start this early on will help set the stage for communication later. During the middle school years you can begin the date training.  Going out to eat, coffee, or somewhere that is not your house may help to open the doors of communication in a neutral environment.  One parent with one child…. like on a date.  If you can, have fathers take out daughters and visa versa.  This way fathers can open doors, ect. and treat their daughters the way they would want their daughter respected on a date. Setting this time up with your child weekly/monthly will also help build the communication routine. Make sure to put it on your family calendar so it will consistently take place!

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on positively impacting your child’s future marriage.

 
Arranging Your Child’s Marriage | Part 3

Arranging Your Child’s Marriage | Part 3

Feb 15

Where You Begin Preparing

We spoke in brief about this in Monday’s blog.  The place you begin preparing your child for the process of picking a mate is by having open communication about the topic.  This begins in early childhood.  Even as you are praying with them at night before they go to bed you can begin the process of praying for their future spouse.  When they are little you can begin to simply pray for their protection.  As your children get older you can continue this habit by including praying that God will raise them up to be Godly adults.  Maybe even praying for some of the attributes that your child has included on their spouse list.  As your child gets into the adolescent years you can begin encourage them to pray that God will mold them into the spouse that they need to be.

All of this is an easy way to continue to plant seeds and desires to have a spouse who follows the Lord.  You are also planting seeds about how serious this process and decision is.  But it may also allow for some awesome conversations as you kids begin to ask questions about the routine of praying for their future spouse!

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on positively impacting your child’s future marriage.

 
Arranging Your Child’s Marriage | Part 2

Arranging Your Child’s Marriage | Part 2

Feb 14

Dealing With Difficult Times Do Have an Impact

Our children watch us very closely.  There are even times when you see your child walking around in your shoes to mimic you.  They pick up phrases we say and attitudes we have, how much more will they pick up marital habits?

How we handle difficulty will have a drastic impact on our child’s marriage.  Do they see us handle disagreements with humility or are they observing all out screaming matches where both are determined to be right no matter the cost?  Choosing to stick it out for the kid’s sake but not choosing to continue to better your marriage may effect how your child sees marriage.  Make the choice to not only stick it out through the hard times but die to self and serve your spouse.  Jesus tells us that whenever we serve the “least of these” we are actually serving Him.  Make the choice to serve your children’s future and to serve your Savior by daily choosing to be humble, serve your spouse and work on your marriage.  Even if one spouse is they only one choosing to work that still means that the children will get to observe at least one spouse choosing to be married.  Remember just as choosing to stay married is a choice not a feeling, so is choosing to live out love daily.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on positively impacting your child’s future marriage.