Why Marriage Is Difficult | Part 1

Why Marriage Is Difficult | Part 1

Aug 29

Expectations

We live in a culture today that, because of all of the resources available, marriage should be a breeze. We have access to movies about relationships and tons of books from fiction to self-help. We can text, talk and message each other constantly. We even have the internet as a constant source of information on the subject. So in this day and age, why is marriage so difficult? Why is the divorce rate so high? There are many reasons that we will explore this week ranging from reasons like the fact that many of us haven’t seen marriage done well, to the constant distraction of the world around us.

The reason we explore today is expectations. We all enter marriage, know it or not, with expectations of what it will be like. When those aren’t met we can feel disillusioned and hurt. This is such an important topic that we spent an entire week long series fleshing it out. For that series click here.

Check out today’s podcast for more on how our expectations impact our marriage.

 
Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 5

Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 5

Aug 26

NO Excuses

The generation of children and teens have been raised observing the “its never my fault attitude”. Many in society want to blame every one around them for circumstances and choices, the victim mentality is sadly very prevalent.  This is a very adolescent attitude that many adults have not grown out of.

We need to teach our children that their choices are their own, which means that they need to learn how to take responsibility for their actions.  No excuses are acceptable.  Teaching this attitude of responsibility for decisions makes our child both marriageable and employable.  Never being able to admit when you are at fault makes both of these areas very difficult.

The Living Bible translates the Proverbs 22:6 verse like this, “Teach a child to choose the right path, and when he is older, he will remain upon it.”  We are training our children not only to make the right choices but to take responsibility and learn from the poor ones.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on the topic of decision making.

 
Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 4

Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 4

Aug 25

Challenges

The challenges of decision making are evident in every decision your child has to make.  Rather then making these decisions for your child, or becoming frustrated with the child’s poor decisions, use these as opportunities for decision making development.

What are examples in the decision making training process? Well when our children are young we train them to pick up after themselves.   That is ultimately helping them make the decision to do that later on.  How they handle their allowance is a great decision making opportunity.  Decisions about when is an appropriate time to leave if something is happening at a party or date that goes against what is appropriate.

All the “challenges” we as parents face with our children and teens are also great training opportunities.  The need to learn the skill of wise, disciplined decision making is often more significant then the behavior we are dealing with.  Don’t get frustrated and miss out on the opportunity to train.  We need to instill in our kids the thought, “Its not that my parents caught me, it’s that I made the wrong decision.”

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more on the topic of decision making.

 
Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 3

Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 3

Aug 24

The Four Parts of The Training Process

As we have discussed previously, there are four “E’s” to every training process we face with our children.  We need to focus on all four of these steps for successful training.

The first is our example as parents.  Are we setting the example of good decision making?  If we make a bad choice are we humble enough to explain and help our children learn from our mistake?  Do our children see us going to God’s word, praying about it and seeking Godly advice when we make a decision? Remember a very big part of the training process is living out what we are teaching.

The second step is exposing them to the decision making process.  Like we said in example, include your children in decisions that are being made as a family.  Allow them to see how to process a big decision.

The third “E”, is experience.   We need to allow our children the experience of making their own decisions.  We stated Monday that often it is easier as parents to make decisions for our child because it is so time consuming to walk them through the process.  However, if we are not allowing them to practice decision making then we are actually stunting development in this area.

Finally comes encouragement.  We also need to take the time to encourage our children when they make decisions.  We need to go crazy with praise when they make the right choice, but we also need to take the time to encourage when the decision is not the right one.  This means we take the time to process with our child and encourage that they can do better and you believe that they can make the right choices.

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

 
Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 2

Raising a Wise Decision Maker | Part 2

Aug 23

The 2 Components of Making Wise Decisions

There are two components that are necessary to teach our children so they can consistently make wise choices. The first is knowing where to go to find answers.  This is the first step to a good decision making process. There are many places we can train our children to go to look for answers if they are unsure in a decision. The first is always God’s word.   Many of the answers we need, can be found by simply cracking open the Bible and looking.  Another place to go is other people who can help give wise and Godly advice.  This is great area to help our children practice.  The more quickly they learn not to take advice from just anyone the better their decisions will be.

The second is learning the discipline to do the things I know are the wisest things to do even when I am tempted to do the opposite. This means that we need to teach our children, when they find the answer that they are looking for in scripture or through wise advice, they need to stick with it even if it is hard.  Helping our children to use their heads in the decision process and not their wants or emotions will help them in the face of temptation. The second thing that we need to help our child with is learning the discipline of saying no.  This is a very difficult thing for most of us but something that is essential for good decision making.  We have even spent a week discussing The Power of No

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.