The Single Parent | Part 8

The Single Parent | Part 8

Mar 29

Dealing With The “Yeast” of Anger

For any parent it is important to know how to manage your anger.  The reason for this is if we allow our anger to get out of control we react to our children in a way that we would not intend to.  We can get to a point where if not dealt with we can even take out our anger on our children.  It is extremely important in a single parent home that anger is managed because there isn’t another adult in the home to be accountable to in this area.

The first thing that we need to do in dealing with anger is know what your “anger triggers” are.  Who or what are the things that push your buttons and cause you to become angry?  Secondly what happens when you become angry or how do you normally act/react when you feel angry?  It is important to know both of these things because you will have to put a plan in place to work on any anger issues.

James 1:19-20 can serve as a great reminder to us, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

 
The Single Parent | Part 7

The Single Parent | Part 7

Mar 28

Dealing With The “Yeast” of Guilt

We have discussed taking back your mindset,  today we are going to discuss taking back your parenting.  This means that we need to deal with the guilt of the situation. Many times in a single parent home two things can happen, because of guilt the children are dictating a parenting plan or the exhaustion of a parent is dictating a parenting plan.  When this happens it only adds to the frustration and confusion of all because there is no consistency.  Find a plan, a simple plan, and stick with it.  Don’t’ allow yourself to come in exhausted from a day and give in because you just “don’t feel like dealing with it”.  This will only lead to greater problems in the future.  A great series to check out to help with this is called “The Power of No”, click here to check it out.

Remember why you are doing what you are doing.  Long term goal is not to be your children’s friend but to be their parent, their trainer.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

 
The Single Parent | Part 6

The Single Parent | Part 6

Mar 27

Getting The Right Mindset- Part 2

We can all get caught up in the “tyranny of the urgent” lifestyle but that is not conducive for meeting long -term goals.  Because the focus needs to be on long-term goals two questions must be asked.  What are the goals for the family/parenting? What are things that can derail the goals in my life?

Secondly we need to focus on the hope that is there for us.  We have mentioned before that we are not in this alone.  God is the one who is orchestrating our lives if we allow Him to.  That in and of itself should bring great comfort.  It is also a great reminder that some of the worlds top leaders from the early 1900s, and many today,  had something in common, they were raised by single mothers.

Take the time to sit down and cast vision for yourself and your family.  Then break it down into long term and short term goals.  When you can take a step back and focus on the big picture it helps us in the day to day.

 

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

 
The Single Parent | Part 5

The Single Parent | Part 5

Mar 24

Getting the Right Mindset

Finally this week we are going to discuss one more choice that needs to be made.  Decide what makes a family and do it.  First is, allowing children to be children.  This may mean setting up some boundaries.  Remind yourself that you are the parent and not their friend.  This may mean that they are not your confidant.  Make sure that you find a friend or prayer partner that you can confide in.  When you place this role on your children, usually the oldest, you put to much on their shoulders.  They need to be allowed to have a childhood.

Secondly when we think of family we think of traditions.  Take the time to have traditions in your home.  Holiday traditions are important but even weekly or monthly traditions can help create the family atmosphere.   Something like a fun breakfast on Saturday or once a month service project are memories that your children will have as they grow up.

Finally remind yourself Whose children they really are anyway.   It is such an amazing thing that God chooses to entrust us with these little lives.  Encourage yourself with the knowledge that you were chosen as the parent of your children.  God doesn’t make mistakes!

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.

 
The Single Parent | Part 4

The Single Parent | Part 4

Mar 23

Dealing with the Viruses that Destroy Your Plan

An additional important step is making the choice to take control over your emotions.  In order to do that we must look at what can be some emotional roadblocks or “viruses” that prevent progress.  Four of these are guilt, anger, competition, and fear.  We also need to be very careful who we give the remote control of our emotions to.  Lots of times well-meaning relatives or friends can hinder us emotionally.  Even interactions with the Ex can cause a downward spiral emotionally.  God tells us in scripture to “take captive every thought”. This means that we do not allow destructive thoughts/ emotions to take root.  Do not dwell on those things.  As we talked about yesterday, we need to focus on the One who will get us through.  He reminds us that He cares for the birds of the air and the lilies of the fields and how much more does He love us?  Make the choice to not allow yourself to dwell on those destructive emotions.  Choose to take them captive!

Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on this topic.