Myths About Money- Part 1
One of the first myths that some hold to is the husband should be the one handling the money. Finances should be a team effort with the one who is more financial minded leading the way. Because we marry our opposites one of the two spouses will probably be more financially bent.
Another myth that some believe is “it’s my money I’ll do with it what I please”. They live dual income marriages. It is hard to be one flesh and may create tension and competitiveness if this is how money is handled. What happens if one spouse is out of work or decides to stay home with children? This is why finances should be “one flesh.” Check back tomorrow as we deal with more money myths in marriage.
Listen to today’s podcast for more on this topic.
Becoming One Flesh With Money
Genesis 2 states, “and the two will become one flesh”. Few things tare that joining flesh apart as much as the way we handle our finances. Because we probably come into marriage with such different approaches to finances, we must come up with a game plan. Like we stated in our series on setting goals in your marriage, it can begin with setting goals. If spouses can agree on and work towards financial goals it will be a step towards maintaining financial “one flesh”. This all begins with communication. It takes communication to work through financial goals and it takes continued communication as you work towards them. Take the time to evaluate where you are in the financial oneness process. Sit down with your spouse and work through areas that need to be improved on to bring you closer together.
Listen to today’s podcast on finances in marriage.
Why It’s Such An Area Of Conflict
Money is one of the top three areas of conflict in a marriage; some polls even list it as number one. Why is that? Money can be a very difficult thing to see eye to eye on. Because we tend to marry our opposites, a spender will usually marry a saver. A “live for the moment” personality will marry a planner. This can cause the area money to be a huge mine field for potential problems. Then many come to marriage from a background with no training in finances or come into marriage with debt. Money can be a cause for huge stress. So how do we come together to deal with money in marriage? Check back this week for answers to that question.
Listen to today’s podcast for more on money in marriage.
Your Words with the Negative Child
For every family there is either a child, or a stage for a child, who is more difficult to encourage. Some children just have a more difficult time accepting praise so they bite back. There are also times where a child is struggling through something and has difficulty expressing themselves. The difficult child or difficult stages of our child’s life, such as middle school, are the times that they need our verbal encouragement the most. It is so easy as parents to take it personally when our encouragement is blown off and we shut down. We need to constantly analyze ourselves to make sure that we are not taking our children’s attitudes or behavior personally. The expectation should be that our children will act like children. They are immature emotionally and will not handle things like adults.
We must go out of our way through the difficult seasons to encourage. Choose to go above and beyond with that child. Leave notes in their lunches or backpacks for them to find and on their mirror for when they get home. Sit on their bed at night and tell them one thing that you that made your proud of them that day. Force yourself to get in a routine of encouragement. We so often forget these important investments into our children in the busyness of life. They are worth the effort! Choose to take the time to verbally invest in your children!
Listen to today’s podcast for more ideas on how to verbally invest in your children.
Investing in Your Son
Verbally investing in your children needs to be something that is done daily. We discussed the importance of investing in your daughter, but what about a son?
Four words that go a very long way for a son are, “I’m Proud of You!” Affirmation for a young boy is pivotal. For a girl it seems that they ultimately want to hear, “I notice you, because you are important to me.” For a boy it is more, “ I notice what you are doing, because you are important to me.” How many times do we hear from our sons, mom/dad watch this? They want to know that they are doing a good job and that we are proud of the job they are doing. This seems to be the child version of the verses in Ephesians 5. These verses on marriage discuss the needs of the male and female. Men need the respect of their wives and wives need to feel the unconditional love of their husbands.
Remember, even if things aren’t done exactly how we would want them, we must applaud the effort. Applauding effort not only outcomes is key! For example, if you have given your young son a job, like cleaning up his toys, even if they are not put back exactly how you would have there still needs to be affirmation and encouragement. This goes such along way! If a boy doesn’t receive this affirmation, especially from dad, he may go through his life constantly seeking the approval of others.
Make sure that you are looking for ways to affirm your son and remind him just how proud you are of his effort in whatever he does!!!
Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on the power of your words in your son’s life!